Fiction · Humor · stories · writing

It’s a Haunting Good Time

It was just yesterday when I told someone,  when I die I wanted to come back and haunt some people. Hell, I never imagined it would actually happen! I wasn’t planning on dying the very next day. But, here I am. Or what’s left of me. I’m kind of floating around right now. I need to get the hang of this being dead thing. Really fast.

How do I know I’m dead? Well, for one thing I’m  floating above my body. I see me down there. Pretty much dead as I can tell. Not a pretty sight either. Geesh, the least I could have done was die with my clothes on!  There I am, lying in the damn bathtub, naked as the day I was born. Poetic huh? Come into this world naked, go out naked. Anyway, from what I remember I was taking a shower, getting ready for work. I dropped the soap and accidentally stepped on it and, whoosh! I slipped, fell, and hit my head and that was that. Not the best way to die, but effective.

I was only joking yesterday!  I’m too young to die. Guess I don’t have a say so in it though. I haven’t spotted a bright light yet. You know, you read about it all the time. How when you die you’re supposed to see a bright light and walk into it. Nope, no bright light. Huh. Now what? How long am I suppose to wait? Wonder how I can move around, or IF  I can. Maybe if I concentrate on where I want to go? Better start out small though. I’ll concentrate on my bedroom, see if I can move into it. It’s only the next room, can’t be too hard right? Okay, here goes nothing.

All right!! I did it! That wasn’t too hard. Now I’m floating in the middle of the bedroom. Oh man! I just bought those rockin’ high heeled boots last week! I was going to wear them to work today! Those boots cost me a bundle too! Seems such a shame too, not be able to wear them. This just sucks! And  am I suppose to float around naked? Not so sure that’s a good idea. Not that I’m cold or nothing. Guess spirits don’t get cold. Still, I would much rather be dressed in something. Even if it’s a sheet! I mean, what if I meet up with another spirit?? I don’t want that first meeting to be with me naked. Wonder if I can conjure some clothes? Worth a try. I’ll squeeze my eyes shut and picture me with some really cool retro clothes. I love that stuff. Okay, okay, I got a good idea what I want. Now let’s see if this will work.

Hmmm, not too bad. I mean it’s all white or gauzy looking. But it’s a dress  with my cool looking boots. I’m getting really good at this stuff! I feel much better now that I’m not naked. Where should I go next? Should I just stay here and wait? Not sure what I’m waiting on anyway. Well, let me think a minute. This spirit business is hard work. Especially when I’m not sure what I can do and what I can’t. But since no one is around giving me rules and stuff I’ll just see what I can do on my own. How about work next? That’s where I would be going if I was alive. Let me concentrate here.

Whoa! That was a trip! Here I am  though. At work. Hey, there’s Ann!  Hi Ann!! Guess she can’t hear me. Ann’s my best friend. We’ve been besties for years. We even got a job together! Can’t get any better than that! Ann looks worried. She’s probably been trying to get  hold of me all  morning. Wow, is she gonna be psyched  when she finds out I’m dead. She’s going to be so sad, then pissed off! We do, or I should say did everything together since the 7th grade. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out I up and died and left her behind! Ha! She’d be even more pissed if she knew about this spirit thing and wasn’t along for the fun! Poor Ann. Wish there was some way I could let her know I was here. I’ll have to figure something out.

Next stop, my childhood home. Mom and dad should be home. Let me concentrate here. Jiminy Crickets that trip made me dizzy! Who would have guessed spirits got dizzy? Maybe it’s just me. There’s dad! ” Hey dad!!!”  Damn, he can’t hear me either. Just as well, he’d probably have a heart attack. Then he’d become a spirit and lecture me. I love my dad, but right now I got enough problems. Wonder where mom is? Out shopping again  I bet. I feel bad about them finding out I’m dead. They were always good parents. Yeah, they like to lecture me about stuff. But hey, at least they cared.  I’ll have to see if I can find a way to let them know I’m okay. And they should not be sad for too long.

Where to next?? I know! My ex boyfriend! The scum. He cheated on me and that’s why I dumped him last month. He didn’t even try to hide it! Such a jerk! If anyone needs a good haunting it’s him! Concentrate, concentrate. Whew! I think I’m really getting the hang of things. This trip at least didn’t make me dizzy. Okay, where is the dirt bag?? Ah there he is! Sitting in front of the TV as usual. I remember hearing he lost his job. Another job. He was always getting fired! Too lazy to get outta bed in the morning. He has himself a big bag of popcorn. Nice lunch. Probably all he can afford.  Wonder what I can do???

All right. I just have to concentrate a bit, picture in my mind what I want to do. And bam! Hahaha! One bag of popcorn all over his head! Oh my!! The look on his face is priceless!!! He’s running around looking for the person who did it. “Hey jerk! I did it! Up here!”

“That’s what you get for cheatin on me!” Oh wow, that was fun! Guess I’ll go back to my place and see if anyone found my body yet. I’m sure Ann has stopped by looking for me. I sure hope she’ll be all right. I just have to find a way to contact her! I’ll think on it. In the mean time I’ll  head back and see what’s going on. Concentrate, concentrate!

28 thoughts on “It’s a Haunting Good Time

  1. Reblogged this on To Breathe is to Write and commented:

    I don’t usually reblog my own posts. In honor of Halloween, I am reblogging one I wrote when I first started blogging. Not many read it, as I didn’t have many followers then. So I hope you enjoy my little haunting story. I had fun writing it.


  2. I LOVE it! Concentrate, concentrate….It was fun to go on the Ride!
    Thanks for bringing your haunted tale to the party. Have fun clicking on links and meeting my friends!


  3. What a cute story. I’d like to haunt a few people too. It was fun waiting to see what you’d think of next. I read my first blog I ever wrote – on Halloween to be exact. It was awful and I’m embarrassed by it. I have so much more growing to do but I was so sick at the time. You inspire me. One day I’ll try my hand at some real fiction. Maybe after I’m done dealing with real life stuff for awhile.:)


    1. Well I read through this one and see lots I could re-write better, but it was one of my very first stories I was brave enough to hit ‘publish’ on, so I left it as it was.
      I’m sure Marlene you could write some really good stories, so I will be waiting for that time. 🙂


  4. Sweet Jackie that was a fun read, I really enjoyed it. Gave me some laughs. A well written story my friend. Couldn’t help but wonder how many people have died naked as I read the story. Hugs


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