Another Friday means another fun Friday Fictioneers. I would like to thank Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this great story telling event. What is Friday Fictioneers you ask? Well let me explain!
This event happens every Friday, we are given a picture as a prompt. We are to write a 100 word story using that picture prompt. (there are no penalties for going over) We leave a link at our hostess’s blog for all others to click so that they can read, leave comments and enjoy!
I’ve been doing it about a month now and I really enjoy it. It is great fiction! It always amazes me how many different stories come out of the same photo. Please come and join us! It’s great fun and great practice to your writing. Also, it doesn’t have to be a story, you can do poetry or whatever you want. Just keep as close to 100 words as possible.
Here is this Fridays picture:
“We go this way!” Ellen said pointing to the hand on the wall.
“Well let’s go!” Excited, Tom told Ellen.
They opened the door and walked through. Once inside the door slammed shut behind them.
“Oh My God! Look Tom!! Look!” cried Ellen.
They both stood staring. What the hell did they get themselves into? In desperation they turned to the door and tried to open it but it was locked tight.
“Damn, I can’t get the door open again!” Tom pulled at the door.
Then they heard chuckling on the other side of it.
“Have a wonderful day!”
It was the last thing they heard.
I guess they went the wrong way. Well written.
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Thank you. It was a hard one!
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Nice! I like the way it starts off all happy and jolly and then gets all sinister. I love Fridays 🙂
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thanks! Yeah I love Fridays too! I love reading all the different takes on the same picture. 🙂
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That finger is definitely not the right way, I’ve learned by reading all contributions. A very nice story, and I guess we are about the same level of addiction
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yes we must be. Yeah I think the smirking face likes playing games with us.
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Oh oh…wrong way no doubt. Very well done, and thanks for always stopping by mine
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thank you! and you are so welcome!
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well done. suggestion – how to save some words – this sentence:
“Well let’s go!” Excited, Tom told Ellen.
thanks to the exclamation point, we know tom is excited, so you don’t need to write it. and tom is only talking to ellen, so you only need to write “tom said.”
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Thanks for the pointers! Appreciate it.
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glad to help.
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‘chuckling’ is just the right word for what that face is doing. Good one Jackie – enjoyed it.
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Thank you sandra!
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I enjoyed the story. There are a few repetitive and unnecessary words that could be pruned to give you extra words to play with. I wonder what kind of hall of horrors they were locked in?
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Thanks for reading.
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Just a few more ideas to save words that you might want to use elsewhere…
In sentence 1–Just say “Ellen pointed to the hand on the wall.” OK, the form won’t go farther down, so I’ll try again in another post.
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Second sentence: you could leave out “Once inside” because we know they’re inside.
You could simpley say, “they stood staring” as we know there are two.
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Thanks for your help! sometimes I need it. 🙂 I will keep all suggestions in mind next Friday. Thank you.
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We all need help and input. That’s partly what the “comment” section is for. 🙂
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Hi Jackie,
First I wanted to say I love your slogan, To breathe is to write. That’s exactly my feeling about writing. Your story was chilling. Behind closed doors, lots of awful things happen. Ron
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Hey Ron,
Thanks for reading. Yes, behind closed doors can be frightening. Thanks about the slogan. It is how I feel, always have.
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Oh, they were fooled! Nice, Jackie, Very creepy!!
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
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Very ominous.
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Oh dear!
Good story!
I like that way there is something they stare at then we are left wanting to read the rest of the story
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Thanks Abraham! That’s what I was wanting, everyone to wonder what was in the room with them.
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Super cool!
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