The daily prompt today on WordPress is:
You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.
I had to think a bit on this one, as I have more than one fear. But they wanted my greatest fear. So I sat back and looked inward and this is what I came up with. Now I know most people would either refuse to point out their greatest fear, because they fear someone will use it against them. Which could be the case. My fear isn’t one of those.
I fear the thought of Alzheimer. Dementia. Losing my self. I have had people say, well if you get Alzheimer’s you wouldn’t know it. How do they know you wouldn’t know it??
Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia. It is a neurological brain disorder named after a German physician, Alois Alzheimer, who first described it in 1906.
I enjoy reading, writing, music, my pets, some people too much. I would hate to lose touch with reality. Even if reality sometimes sucks. I still want to be in the here and now. I don’t want to be, wherever you go when you get dementia. I don’t want to sit or lay there and stare off into space. I don’t want to forget the people I love. That scares me more then anything else.
Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia, a group of disorders that impairs mental functioning. (Dementia literally means loss of mentation, or thinking.) At the moment, Alzheimer’s is progressive and irreversible. Abnormal changes in the brain worsen over time, eventually interfering with many aspects of brain function. Memory loss is one of the earliest symptoms, along with a gradual decline of other intellectual and thinking abilities, called cognitive functions, and changes in personality or behavior.
Alzheimer’s advances in stages, progressing from mild forgetfulness and cognitive impairment to widespread loss of mental abilities. In advanced Alzheimer’s, people become dependent on others for every aspect of their care. The time course of the disease varies by individual, ranging from five to 20 years. The most common cause of death is infection.
I have had some rough times in my life. From childhood on, I’ve dealt with some pretty awful stuff. To me though this would be the worse. With all the other things I could move on, I had control over how I reacted. I had control!
People with AD gradually suffer memory loss and a decline in thinking abilities, as well as major personality changes. As the disease progresses, nerve cells in several brain areas shrink and die, including cells that normally produce critical neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers that relay brain signals from one nerve cell (neuron) to another. Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter that is deficient in people with Alzheimer’s. As nerve cells continue to die, the brain itself shrinks and the wrinkles along its surface become smoother.
When you have Alzheimer or dementia you don’t have control. You lose it. You lose yourself. I would rather die then have that happen. Period.
By the final stage, plaques and tangles have spread throughout the brain, and brain tissue has shrunk significantly. People with severe Alzheimer’s cannot communicate and are completely dependent on others for their care. Near the end, the person may be in bed most or all of the time as the body shuts down.
So I would hate to be locked in a room with myself and not even know myself.
**Everything in blue comes from the website about Alzheimer Disease http://www.alzinfo.org/
The Last Chapter 
Definitely my top fear as well, especially as I have relatives who suffered from this. Next on my list would be losing my sight. I hope we both escape this nightmare in the future.
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So far I have not heard of any of my relatives having this, and some have lived to be in their 90’s. Most die from cancer or heart disease way before that. My mom is 83 and she’s sharp as a tack. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
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Scary thought. Very scary. It would make a great short story though – especially the line: “I would hate to be locked in a room with myself and not even know myself.”
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great minds think alike! I thought about how it would make a great short story when I was writing this. It is scary isn’t it???
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I have a morbid fear of lightbulbs. Seriously. I’ll sit in the dark for three day waiting for the super to come change one as I cannot stand to touch one or be too near to them.
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awww Seb, that’s kind of sad. picturing you sitting in the dark. I used to work with electricity for a living. I have a healthy respect for it, but no fear really.
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Hi Jackie – I’m happy to meet you here by way of Wendy McCance’s site. I had to really think about my greatest fear.
I guess it would be starting new things (though not a major fear). I usually push myself out there and do new things anyway but floundering around, not always understanding the process and making mistakes is uncomfortable. Would sometimes just rather not start.
Another fear is the supernatural — having listened to many ghost stories by my grandmother.
Good to talk to you here. Hope you’re having a good New Year so far.
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Hi Pat! Glad you stopped by! come anytime! Making mistakes is always scary, but I figure if I didn’t make mistakes I would never learn and grow. Ah, the supernatural. I’m not afraid of that either as I have a ghost that has lived with me since childhood. ha! Everyone has their own fears, they are real to them, whether it makes sense to anyone else. Hope you come back. I enjoyed the visit!
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Thanks Jackie – it was fun visiting and meeting new people. I like that you write from the WordPress Daily prompts. Gives a variety of topics.
I see that we also have “Goodreads” in common. I just joined it so don’t know much about it.
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Goodreads is fairly simple. It’s a place where you read books and give it a brief review. You can add friends and share your reviews that way you might come across a book you might not otherwise have noticed.
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Thanks Jackie – I just completed the process of connecting in Goodreads – maybe you can join me as one of my friends. Not sure how I would do that unless we were connected on FB (I’m at http://www.facebook.com/pat.ruppel.1).
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I will add you as a facebook friend and see about adding you at Goodreads. thanks Pat
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Glad we connected on FB. Now need time to get acquainted with Goodreads. Thank you.
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No problem. Glad we did also. 🙂
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That is terrifying. But you’re right, I would hate to be locked in a room with myself.
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not a good thought for sure.
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This is very well written Jackie. This is my mother’s fear. Dementia frightens her more than anything – even though she is still sharp as a tack.
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It happens so often, that it is scary. I would hate it. thank you for the compliment!
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I hear you. Having been exposed to my Aunt on Christmas who suffers from Dementia has changed my fear factor. I avoided visiting her for a longest time. She is forever 54 and a delighted person still. Should I ever have this disease, as long as I am funny, I don’t mind at all. Hope you will find peace with your fear. Take Care.
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that usually doesn’t happen. being happy with it. people usually turn totally different and usually mean. I still wouldn’t like it. I like the here and now too much. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it.
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A scary thought indeed, and your closing line says a lot … so let’s hope it doesn’t come to be.
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thank you Frank, it doesn’t run in the family so that gives me hope.
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This is my fear too. I was a supervisor in home care. I talked with clients and heard stories. I was unemployed for a year and I helped take care of this lady with Alzheimer. When she had moments of clarity she would cry because she couldn’t remember. It was sad.
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Please fix errors I couldn’t see what was coming on the page as I typed. 🙂
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It’s fixed now. 🙂
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😉 Thanks.
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Yes it is scary and sad. I hate the idea of going through that.
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Me too.
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