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Friday Fictioneers ~ Jan 11

JackieP

Hello dear readers! It’s time for that fun lovin’ Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. I do this every Friday. It’s great fun and I hope you will join in!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

If you want to read what the other great writers have posted please click on Rochelle’s name above, then scroll down till you see the little blue frog and click on him! Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

Copyright-Roger Cohen
Copyright-Roger Cohen

 

She tapped her foot to the Jazz band.  A glass of booze sitting in front of her. She was dressed to kill.

Smoke rings floated above her head as she smiled. Her man was playing the old bull fiddle. He sure could play that thing. Just like he played her every night.

They been together for years. Traveling the back roads, looking for gigs. The white picket fence life wasn’t for them. Too many places they hadn’t been yet. Them and that bull fiddle.

 

 

73 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~ Jan 11”

  4. I’ve read a few Friday Fictioneers now, and these little flash fiction stories are really cool – and really good. I like the couple in your story. You’ve painted a nice life for them – and I had no idea it was called a bull fiddle. 😉

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    1. thanks Maddie! It’s just one of many names for it. Depends on how and what genre it’s played. 🙂

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          1. I’m sorry 😦 I wrote twice this past week…that’s…something. I do have plans to write more. I’m just so tired after work atm that I come home and fall asleep shortly thereafter.

            Waking up early is not my thing, especially this time of year. I need to go tanning again.

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          2. hey no need to apologize girl! It’s something you have to get used to. Believe me I don’t like to get up early either. But the tanning might help. You need to do it regular. I know, I’m being a mother hen. lol….

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          3. I love mother hens. My mother wasn’t much of a mother, so I lap it up like a starving kitten does milk. 😛

            Yeah. I ‘m going to buy a tanning package with the first paycheck (Tuesday!) and make it a once or twice a week thing.

            Heck, lol, at this rate, I’m gonna need two paychecks. I keep saying “with my first paycheck, I’m gonna buy X”. I think I’ll need to make a priority list, or be very happily surprised at the size of my paycheck.

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          4. ummm I think you better stick with the priority list. lol and put the tanning thing up towards the top!

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  11. JACKIEPPPPP!
    I get the feeling he is not the only one who knows how to handle a bull fiddle..wink wink! All kidding aside I liked these two. Like Kent said you could feel the stuffiness of the room. I would hang with them any day. really fine work.
    Tom

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    1. thank you Tom. I liked these two also. They seemed like a fun couple. You know how musicians are….and their women. ha! Glad you liked it.

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  14. Very evocative – transports me right there with the characters. Just one possible tiny typo, though – ‘They been together for years’ – did you mean ‘They’d been…’?
    Lovely story 🙂

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    1. It could have been they’d, but I was talking more in her voice then in mine. I think she would have said they been. Does that make sense? In my mind it does but maybe once out there it doesn’t. 🙂

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      1. Oh Jackie honey, I’m just a woman that has a lot to say. 😉 Your story was really good. I wished I was that woman sitting in a gin joint watching her man pluck the bass. Not only because he’s good at it. But because of what else he’s good at. Playing her. Giggle.

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        1. Well you might have a lot to say, but you do say it so well. So it’s all right. Yeah, I felt that too when I wrote it. haha.

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  24. I can only agree with the rest of the responses you’ve received…a wonderfully composed little story which captures the essence of what the couple are about 🙂
    Them and that bull fiddle…was a perfect ending!

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  25. Jackie,
    Your story was more than a quick look into the lives of two characters. You obviously hit on a chord that resonates with most of us. Call it freedom, wanderlust, or living in the moment. You story makes me want to sell everything and hit the road, although I’d starve pretty quickly since I can’t play a lick. haha.
    Thanks for sharing this story with us.

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    1. oh I’d starve too as I can’t play nor sing. haha! But I admire people who can play. Thanks for reading!

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  26. Dear jackie,

    You breathed life into that story like he breathes life into the bull fiddle. Your portrayal of these three characters was wonderful and rhythmic. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  30. questions

    “She was dressed to kill.” i know it’s only 100 words, but maybe we could know more of what she’s wearing. mini dress? tight skirt? little black dress? something more than “dressed to kill,” unless that’s literal and i missed it.

    “Just like he played her every night.” this made me think he was lying to her, cheating, something like that. that expression could mean that too. wasn’t sure.

    either way, well done. loved the life captured in there.

    also, Jazz doesn’t need capitalization.

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    1. answers

      I suppose I could have gone on and described what she wore. But I do only have 100 words to play with. She was in a club enjoying the music, so it was taken for granted she was dressed in a little black dress, with silk stockings and heels. Also full on makeup with bright red lipstick.

      Since she was talking about her man playing the bull fiddle, again it was taken for granted on the writers side that the sentence afterwards, “Just like he played her every night”, would be taken that he plays the bull fiddle so well and also her body.

      Thank you for reading and commenting rich. Maybe I put too much credit toward the readers ability to use their imagination?

      Opps on the jazz part. Now that one was a mistake.

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      2. “She was in a club enjoying the music, so it was taken for granted she was dressed in a little black dress, with silk stockings and heels. Also full on makeup with bright red lipstick.”
        This is hilarious! 😀
        I understood both parts as you have described the first time.

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