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Friday Fictioneers ~ Feb 1

JackieP

It’s that time again for Friday Fictioneers, hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. As always I thank our gracious hostess.

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

You are more then welcome to join us! It’s lots of fun and good practice for your writing. We write a 100 word story on a different photo each week. Please click on Friday Fictioneers above to read the short set of rules and read all the stories offered.

(This one may not be my best as I have been down with a really bad virus all week. But, I couldn’t miss my favorite weekly activity.)

Genre/Science Fiction

Copyright-Claire Fuller
Copyright-Claire Fuller

“Just relax. Breath deep. Close your eyes and let your mind go blank.”

Sara felt his fingers on her head. They were warm and firm. She let her mind clear and relaxed.

“I’m going to go in now. No cause for alarm. You will feel me, but there will be no pain. I will see what you see.”

Suddenly she saw him in her mind! She looked around and saw him head for The Door. No! Don’t open it! She thought she screamed it, but she was silent. She wanted to pull him back.

He reached for the handle and turned it.

She was wide awake once more, tears running down her cheeks. She was alone, again.

66 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~ Feb 1”

  4. a very original idea, although I don’t fancy having anyone rooting about inside my head – I reckon there’s quite a few doors in there that I don’t want people peeking behind! Fabulous story. Get well soon 🙂

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  8. This is certainly a different take. I wouldn’t want anyone rummaging about in my mind, that’s for sure, although they might regret it as well. I have to admit that while you wrote it well, I was a bit lost at the end. Was she alone because he went through the door and was now in her mind? What’s was behind the door? Nevertheless, I enjoyed it and the speculation it engendered.

    janet
    Hope you’re feeling better soon!

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    1. Thank you Janet. Yeah, I wondered if it might be a tad confusing. In my mind of course it was crystal clear, but then my mind is a bit muddy. My thought on it was more like she is asking for help, but every time someone tries to help her by getting inside her mind and opening the door they disappear inside. As for what is behind the door, I leave that up to every ones great imagination. Hope this makes more sense.

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  12. I understand you are not feeling well so I will not scream your name this week…jackie p….better? Well I hope you are feeling better….I could feel the longing is this as well. Very well done.
    Tom

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    1. You are a nice man Tom P. Thank you. Next week scream away. Thank you also for liking my little story. 🙂

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  14. I read the ending to mean that this was a person she wanted to be with again (perhaps he was dead) and somehow he was inside her head, but when she woke he was gone and she was sad. Whichever way you meant it, it was a great idea and very nicely written. One minor point – did you mean breathe rather than ‘Breath deep’

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  15. Dear Jackie,
    All my thoughts have been expressed. Nicely written. I, too, was a little unsure of your ending. If “he” was ever really there in the first place. I hope you’re feeling better by the time you read my comment.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Hi Doug,

      I think you could look at it either way, stay away or open it. Depends who is reading I think. Thanks for commenting. Always enjoy.
      Jackie

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    1. Hey Peaches! Thank you. I hope I get better at this writing thing, all though this week I’m not so sure. 😉

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        1. Ah I do love compliments in the morning. Thanks girl. You are good for my ego.Hows things with you? I see hubs and you are going dancing! That’s great!

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          1. things for me? Ugh…I feel…ugh…I don’t know how to explain it. My boobs are like wake me up in the middle of the night sore, I got the sniffles, I’m so freaking tired by dinner time. (Poor hubs ate dinner alone last night because I fell asleep after work and couldn’t wake up) and some waves of nausea at weird fucking times. I feel like somebody beat me with a baseball bat. But emotionally I’m fine! Enough of a rant? lol

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          2. sounds like me last week, but I had a stomach virus. So what’s your excuse??? You got to take care of yourself youngen. You’ll scare the hubs to death. Have you gone tanning yet??

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          3. I did go tanning. Promise. I’ll probably go again today. Hubs thinks I’m pregnant. I think my hormones are out of wack because they adjusted my thyroid medicine and it will just take some time to even out.

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          4. Awww ever hopeful hubs. My vote is with you. I know thyroid meds can mess you up inside. Hopefully it will straighten out soon. big hugs!

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          5. Thanks lovely. I’m sure it will. Who knows? Maybe hubs is right, but I’m past getting my hopes too high. Too many negative tests.

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          8. Eh, I’m getting better. I got a nasty virus, ended up in ER for 8 hours and in bed most of the week. I hardly get sick so it took me a while to get better. Haven’t hardly eaten a thing all week, probably lost 10 lbs. But so far today is good. I might survive this. ha! Hows that for my rant? 😉

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    1. Thank you Tiny! Almost there in the health department. Hate being sick as I rarely am. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! 🙂

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  21. whoa, now that would be a cool trip…this reminds me of the children’s science storybooks, “The Magic School bus!”
    sending your cyber healing rays…it should help some. 🙂

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    1. Yeah, it’s pretty much up to the reader. It could go many ways. My thought actually was more SFish. He was in her mind and walked thru the door and disappeared like many that try to help her do. That’s why she is crying, because no one seems to be able to help.

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  24. Interesting. i always used to think of closing a vault door in my mind on a particularly troubling subject or time. I would be screaming and demanding the guy to leave as well. Very real to me.

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  25. took me two times to really know what was happening, but that’s not a bad thing. it means you economized and packed a lot in there. well done.

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