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Sunday Snippets Critique Blog Hop ~ Feb 24

In this hop, participants post 250 words of their work in progress to be critiqued.  Then everyone hops around to critique others.  Don’t have a post of your own?  We’d love a critique anyway!  And next time you can sign up yourself.

Jennifer M Eaton is the host. Hop on over to her blog and read all about it. Also join us!

Want to join up?  Click here for the rules, and leave a comment to have your name added to the list.  The more the merrier!

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If you want to read my other Sunday’s posts just click on the Sunday Snippets button to the right or look at my pages. It has a page of its own! Thanks so much.

Click on over to these great writers to check out and critique what they’ve posted!

Here is this Sunday’s snippet from my WIP “The Key” a mystery/adventure. It is in first draft so it is pretty rough!

For those that don’t know what my WIP is about let me first give you a brief synopsis.

Through accidents, illness and losing her great-grandmother Edith, Phillis is the last of a once strong family. On her deathbed Edith gives Phillis a skeleton key and tells her that it is the “key to the family’s heritage.” But, Phillis doesn’t know what the key opens as Edith died before she could tell her. 

Now Phillis is on the hunt for what the key opens and also to find out more of her heritage. She is helped by Malcolm, who was once Edith’s lover. But Phillis is not sure he can be trusted. Along the way of discovery Phillis finds strength in herself and finds many mysteries about the family.

Phillis makes the realization that members of her family were killed off. They were not accidents as she had thought. Will she be next to be killed?

She must find what the mysterious key opens before an ‘accident’ befalls her!


(This is when Phillis is taking Pal (wolf/dog) to the Vet’s for the first time. It shows their interaction)

“Come on Pal, the nice Vet is not going to hurt you. I promise!” Phillis blew some strands of fiery red hair out of her eyes. It was turning out to be a very long morning.

Phillis eyed the stubborn animal. It didn’t take too much convincing to get him into her small car. Although he took up the whole back seat, he seemed okay with riding in it. Once she got to the vet’s office though it was a whole different matter. Pal absolutely refused to budge. It was like he sensed where he was and there was no way anyone was going to stick him with a needle.

Phillis could see a few other people inside the vet’s building watching her out the large window. She sighed deeply. She never thought about how she was going to get Pal inside if he didn’t want to go. Now she had to figure out something. She felt so frustrated. Phillis looked at the animal and finally saw a spark of fear in his eyes. It broke her heart and she sat in the back seat and hugged him. She thought, maybe he thought she was going to put him in here and leave him and it terrified him. That thought set her back. She hugged him harder.

“I am never going to leave you Pal, I promise. I never thought about how you might be feeling. You’ve never been in a Vet’s office before. You think I’m going to leave you behind. I never would do that!”  Phillis felt the big body relax just a little.