This is going to be a super busy month for me, with packing up a house full of stuff, moving, writing, and trying to work on 2 paying jobs (in writing of course)! I don’t know if I’m coming or going but it certainly isn’t boring! Even with all this craziness I can’t miss a Friday Fictioneer! I just love doing them as they are indeed addictive.
Please join us, just click on Rochelle Wisoff-Fields name and read the few rules. We would love to have you. If you don’t want to participate and just want to read a bunch of great flash fiction then once you are on Rochelle’s page scroll down and click on the little blue guy. Either way, thanks for coming and reading!
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
Genre/fiction (100 words)
They circled the tree, gazing with awe. Elves, fairies, pixies, trolls, a pair of unicorns. Even the dragons were represented, deep purple, scales shimmering in the fading light, golden eyes transfixed, still and beautiful the dragon laid before the tree.
The tree itself, tall, gnarly, old as time itself. Tree of all living things beautiful in its ugliness. Each knot representing a traumatic event in the world. Too many of them they all thought. Saddened they watched as another node formed. The world had forgotten its wonders and the wonders wept as the tree groaned with fresh pain.
The Last Chapter 
very well done. very soft and touching.
this sentence isn’t right yet because of repeating “world”:
“The world has forgotten the wonders of the world and the wonders wept as the tree groaned with pain.”
maybe something like this –
The world had (not has) forgotten its own wonders, and those wonders gently wept as the tree groaned with fresh pain.
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Yeah, I wasn’t too thrilled with that sentence, but just couldn’t put my finger on why. I see where it would sound and flow much better with your suggestions. Thanks Rich! As usual you are very helpful.
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you’re very welcome.
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I like it a lot, reminds me of the world’s tree Yggdrasil in Norse mythology .
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thank you! I love mythology.
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That’s a great image – that each knot is formed by some trauma happening in the world. I’m not sure about the third line – it starts with ‘dragons represented’, but ends with ‘the dragon laid before the tree’. I was a little confused.
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ah yes I see, one is plural and the other not. I will have to correct that. Thanks 🙂
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Well actually it’s not that confusing about the dragon. As the sentence says the “dragons were represented”, buy a single dragon. he is the one that laid before the tree. It wouldn’t be quite right if the first was singular. as “The dragon was represented” it really should be plural as the one single dragon that ‘laid before the tree” is the representative of all dragons.
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Ah, I see what you mean. But maybe just a colon after ‘represented’ would help, because I read it as if the ‘deep purple’ etc were what the dragons were representing, rather than as part of the second part of the sentence – about the singular dragon. But maybe this is just me being pedantic – feel free to ignore me!
Claire
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I see where a colon would help. I’m always willing to listen to advice Claire! Your comments are always welcome! Thank you 🙂
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Jackie, I liked how you talked about the nodes representing world events. Oh, so clever and fantastical.
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Thank you Amy, for some reason as soon as I saw this picture that’s what came to mind. Glad you liked it 🙂
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Very nice that created this tree to record the ugliness of the world. Well done Jackie.
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thank you! 🙂
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lovely story..a little mythical maybe..found these words meaningful, ‘Each knot representing a traumatic event’..and ‘wonders wept as the tree groaned with fresh pain’..
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I like mythical. I love the ‘maybe’ of it all. Thanks for reading
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A good take on the prompt; I liked the idea of each knot representing yet another world crisis. Well done
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Thank you Sandra! Appreciate you reading 🙂
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HI Jackie
A very imaginative take on the prompt this week – I love a bit of mythology and I think we all need a bit more magic in our lives in this science-driven world. So thanks for bringing the magic to FF 😀
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Hi El! thanks so much, I think too we could all use a bit more magic in our lives. Glad you agree 🙂
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Dear Jackie,
What a picturesque and colorful take on the prompt. And I love the layers within. Entertaining with a message.
shalom,
Rochelle
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thank you Rochelle! Always a pleasure to hear from you 🙂
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I liked this very, very much! I actually saw the other-world creatures in my mind’s eye as I read. And the idea of the tree as record of world happenings – it’s astonishing it still stands! Very well done.
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Ah you got it!! Thank you! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Now I’m groaning in sympathy with the tree, I feel its pain. What an interesting interpretation of the prompt. Very nicely written, I really liked ‘Saddened they watched as another node formed.’ Very visual. 🙂
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Thank you so much! glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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Great interpretation of the prompt, Jackie. You are so creative. I would have never thought of each node representing something traumatic in the world, but geez Louise, that tree does look like it’s in pain.
If you look at the picture again, from the ground going up, there appears to be a bit of an orange color on the trunk. It kind of ends in a peak – still on the main part of the trunk. Just to the right of this, on the thick branch growing to the right, it looks like a face. Two little dark eyes, a kind of big nose, and a thin mouth. Do you see it, or am drinking too much coffee?? (Coffee in an iced coffee drink.)
Hope your move goes well, and that you find the time to write! 🙂
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Well lady, if it’s because of your coffee that you see that I must be drinking the same stuff! I see it too now that you point it out, maybe subconciously I saw it and that’s why I wrote what I did. I know when I looked at the picture this story just came to me right away. Good eye you have! 🙂
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Jackie,
Love this part ” Each knot representing a traumatic event in the world. Too many of them they all thought. Saddened they watched as another node formed. The world had forgotten its wonders and the wonders wept as the tree groaned with fresh pain.” that’s like almost the whole thing. Awesome!
Tom
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Thanks Tom PPPPP, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Means a lot. 🙂
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“The most wondrous of the wonders is the dragon–‘deep purple, scales shimmering in the fading light, golden eyes transfixed, still and beautiful.'” Very nice, Jackie.
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Thank you vb!
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I love the commentary!
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Thanks! 🙂
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lovely imagination.. i really love the idea that each knot of the tree represented a traumatic event in the world… the whole piece is great 🙂
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Coming from you kz that is a great compliment! Thank you 🙂
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Wonderful stuff. We carry our wounds in our bodies just like your tree. I’m a week or so behind but you write so well, I didn’t want to miss it.
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thank you so much! Yes, I agree, we do carry our wounds in our bodies. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
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