Who is the one person you hope isn’t reading your blog? Why?

I would have to say the #1 person I hope isn’t and never does read my blog is my ex. If  he reads my blog then he would know where I am. I don’t think he can get into Canada, but I’m not positive. Knowing him he would BS his way to crossing the border. I have no idea if he has a passport. I have no idea if Canada would let him in. Depends on if he was able to talk the officials into deleting any criminal records. Knowing my ex, he would get it done.

Even after years of living in Canada, I still am very vigilant about my surroundings. I scout out parking lots at stores, I glance at any passing vehicle. I find myself still, though I hate it, looking to see if my ex shows up. After being stalked for years, you get into habits. These habits I’m not willing to break. At least not just yet.

The other people I hope not to read my blogs is my family. My mother, my 2 brothers and even my sister. Now most people wouldn’t mind their family reading their blog. They don’t have my family. It’s not that I’m not proud of my blog. I am. Both of them. (My food blog at http://changeforbetterme.wordpress.com )

My family is and always has been super critical of me and anything I do. They all disliked my ex. Well after the divorce anyway. My brothers didn’t mind partying at strip joints with him when they lived with me for short periods of time. Now of course they all have selective memories. It’s amazing how that works.

They all for some reason associate me with my ex. They seem to think that they know what went on behind closed doors. They seem to think they know what went on in my marriage, even though they hardly talked to me and lived across country. Now, they still bring up stuff that has more to do with my crazy ex than me. I certainly couldn’t control the man. Amazing they think I was just like him, or worse. But then they have always been quick to judge me, and not for the good.

Do I sound bitter? Yeah, maybe just a tad. It was just last month my younger brother wrote something bad on one of my blogs. My tribute to my Dad. I trashed it of course. But it hurt like hell. Why attack me when all I did was talk lovingly about my Dad? I don’t understand that at all. I just spoke the truth. I guess after some of what they did to me the truth bothers them. Ah well. Tough to be them I suppose.

Anyway, I don’t like being bitter. So I usually shrug it off. My family is what they are. I leave them alone and hope they leave me alone. Good thing I have good friends who know me and know what happened during my marriage to my ex. They know the truth, my family just guesses.

Maybe they should read my blog. Maybe they should find out some of what was happening to me back then. But they won’t. So I’m now letting it go. Thank you readers for putting up with my little bit of bitterness. I’m flushing it now. Back to smiling again.