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Friday Fictioneers ~~ August 30, 2013

JackieP

I’m early this week with FF’s I know. This week has been royally screwed since Monday so I figured why not screw with it some more. 🙂

I have no idea what the rest of this week is going to be like so figured since I have a little bit of time right now I would get my FF’s fix in early. I am NOT missing it for anything! Even if my eyes are watering and I’m sneezing my fool head off! Allergies, ugh go away all ready!!

Ok, I‘m done whining for now. On with the good stuff!

I want to thank our kind hostess Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for putting up with us once more. If you want to read more great flash fiction based on the same picture just click on Rochelle’s name. That will take you to her blog where you can read her great story first (she is the greatest writer of these little shorts!!). Then scroll down and click on the little blue critter where you will fly off and land on a whole host of other great writers! Read people, read!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

Below is this week’s picture and my attempt at writing something cohesive. I am always open to helpful criticisms so come on, don’t be afraid to say what you want. I don’t bite, much. 😉

Copyright – Dawn M. Miller
Copyright – Dawn M. Miller

Genre/paranormal (100 words)

Paddy leaned on his broom, pipe in mouth, as he watched the people bustle about.  Bending slightly he pushed the broom a few feet further down the way.

A gnarled finger pushed his newsy cap further back on his head as he looked around once more.

Yep, he thought,  I seen a lot of people come and go through this station through the years.  Love this station I do.

Paddy continued pushing his old broom. People went by him without seeing. Though some swore there was a chill in that part of the station.

Paddy’s form shimmered as a commuter rushed through him on his way to catch the train.

Yup, he’d been here a long time now.

(A newsy cap(or newsboy cap) was popular not only with newsboys of the early 20th century but also with lots of men during those times.  I added the link in case you want to read what it is and what it looks like.)

52 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~~ August 30, 2013”

  1. in this line: “… he seen a lot of people come and go through this station through the years. Loved this station he did.”

    shouldn’t the “he” be “I”? aren’t these his thoughts?

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    1. I always thought old buildings have to have some ghosts. Could be my wild imagination though. Thanks for reading! 🙂

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    1. I’m not sure exactly. I just let my mind wander. Also lots and lots of practice helps. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

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  9. Paddy’s a lucky ghost: he’s doing what he wants to do in a place where he wants to be–eternity sounds pretty good for him. Nicely done.

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  15. Dear Jackie,

    Ghostly and uplifting at the same time. You planted a picture of Paddy in my mind.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    PS Thanks for the compliment in your intro. Shrinking my head and moving on. 😉

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    1. Aww I”m sure the head doesn’t need shrinking. 🙂 Thank you once more for the kind words. I like Paddy. A good man, er, ghost.

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    1. I suppose he will, when he gets tired of pushing that broom. Thanks for stopping by tiny! Always a pleasure my friend. 🙂

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    1. thank you Helena! I love ghost stories and ghosts! Yeah, allergy season sucks. Thanks for reading! 🙂

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  24. Really like this. You’ve given us a snippet of Paddy’s life and I’d like to know more – like why’s he still hanging around. 🙂

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