Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Daily Prompt, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, postaday, Stories of my life

Daily Prompt: On the Road

Daily Prompt: On the Road

If you could pause real life and spend some time living with a family anywhere in the world, where would you go?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve given this question some serious thought. This is my answer.

I would go home. I would go home to my own family.

I would go back  and ask one question. What the hell happened to us?

I would gather my  mother, sister and two brothers and I would sit us down in the living room and ask that question. What the hell happened to us?

What happened to what little closeness we had? Granted we were never much for showing our feelings unless they were angered or frustration with each other. But, we used to at least talk to each other. Well okay, let me be more specific here. YOU used to talk to ME. Now none of you do. That makes me sad.

photo by http://www2.gov.bc.ca/
photo by http://www2.gov.bc.ca/

I know I’ve been gone from home for a long time. Except for brief visits or a short time that I lived back home again. Otherwise since I left home when I was 21 I haven’t been back much. Even so, we still used to talk to each other! We would call or write at least once a week. What the hell happened to us?

My younger brother and I used to be so close. No matter what happened it was us two against everyone else. Now? It seems he is a bitter and angry man towards me and I’m not sure why. He holds what my ex did to the family against me personally. Truth to say they all do. It seems they think what he did is what I condoned. That could not be further from the truth. I doubt they will believe that, or maybe they just don’t wish to believe it.

My family was done wrong by my ex ( he is a true narcissist). They forget that he is my EX for a reason. They don’t seem to think that he controlled me, my actions and my thoughts to the point that I said and did what he wanted me to. Until I got away from him. Now I think for myself.

My older sister and I were always so close. I could tell her anything and everything and she would listen. Now, she won’t even return a Facebook message. It saddens me no end. I’ve sent cards, letters and I’ve tried calling. Nothing seems to work. It breaks my heart to think how far we have grown apart. What the hell happened to us?

So yes, I would go home to my own family and sit down with them and talk about the good times. I would talk to them, maybe cry with them and try to get back just some of that closeness we used to have.

My older brother and I never did get along. Even when we were kids we didn’t get along that well. Maybe because I don’t like bullies and he was one. Still is in many ways.  Just an older version. If I could though I would go and sit with him and talk to him and try to be more understanding and forgiving. He is who he is for better or worse. He is still my brother.

When I left home so many years ago, who would have thought I would still be gone at this time in my life? I’m much older and much more wiser, at least I hope I’m wiser. Part of our growing apart is my fault, I will admit that. But it’s not all my fault. I grew into the woman I am today. One I doubt my family would recognize or know. In fact I KNOW they don’t know me. How could they? I have to say that I don’t know them anymore either.

I’ve been through a lot these many years that I’ve been gone. Some my family knows about and much they don’t. They never knew half of what went on in my first marriage. Not even close. For me it’s the past and where it should stay.

I suppose my family still sees me as I was when I was 21. Maybe. They are quick to judge me, all in the worst way, for some reason. The only thing I have been guilty of is having poor judgement in marriage partners and staying in that marriage way too long. Okay, I’m guilty also of being a very private person. I didn’t tell them most of the stuff that was going on in my life because I felt they didn’t need to know.

I’ve left mentioning my mother for last. Her and I have always had a very tumultuous relationship. It was always apparent to me that she didn’t like me much. Sometimes we would go years without talking. One thing my mother knows how to do very well is holding a grudge.

I love my mother. Not sure if she loves me. Simple yet oh so complicated. She has always been the force in our family. A very strong force. What she says goes in my family. As it always has.

We had been getting along great for years after my father died. The longest we got along in my life! Then it all changed. I’m not sure  why. She wouldn’t answer my phone calls. She would get angry at me very easily. Now, she hasn’t talked to me for months. I’m not sure what I did or said this time. Hell, I’m never sure with my mother.

So yes, I would go to my own family, sit them all down and talk to them. One on one, or all together. And I would ask the question. What the hell happened to us?

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Photo Challenges, postaday

Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated

Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated

Another weekly photo challenge. Saturated. Now this should be interesting. I’m not much of a photographer, but I am learning.

Hope you enjoy my weekly interpretation of the photo challenge. Thank you!

 

 

  1. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | castelsarrasin
  2. Weekly photo challenge: saturated | Jean’s Photography Blog
  3. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | nancy merrill photography
  4. Saturated- Weekly Photo Challenge | The Rider
  5. Photoworld 28-9-13 | ~~~ nur ein “Klick” ~~~ ein Kompendium
  6. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Baba Yaga Bony Legs
  7. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | ILEANA PARTENIE
  8. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Retired2Travel
  9. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | blueberriejournal
  10. Saturated- Weekly Photo Challenge | Bileam se Donkie
  11. Weekly Photo Challenge / B4 Retouch: Saturated (Raindrops) | What’s (in) the picture?
  12. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | I’m possible
  13. Saturated – Wild Animals. | Anne Squared
  14. Figures in the Snow | Monochrome
  15. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated Sky | Jake Kuyser
  16. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | six degrees photography
  17. Saturated: Take 2 | Today, on Earth
  18. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Colin Butterworth
  19. Stillness in Saturation | Inception
  20. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Something to Ponder About
  21. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | out10about
  22. The Sunset After The Rise | The Bottom of a Bottle
  23. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | From My Horizon
  24. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Tvor Travels
  25. Even rain is saturated | Le Drake Noir
  26. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated – Berlin’s Horizon | Aylin’s Wonderland
  27. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | Chicomallorca’s Blog
  28. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | StandingStill
  29. Weekly Photo Challenge: Saturated | notsofancynancy
Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Fiction, Friday Fictioneers, postaday, stories, writing

Friday Fictioneers ~~ September 27, 2013

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

Here it is the end of September already! Where does time fly off to?

It’s also FF time again. Once more thanks go out to Rochelle for hosting this thing we love to do each week. Of course you all know the drill by now, click on Rochelle’s name if you want to join or if you want to read other great stories based on the same picture.

So off we go!

Copyright – Rich Voza
Copyright – Rich Voza

Genre/Horror (101 words)

Wendi  was driving down a beautiful country road when a thick fog appeared from nowhere and forced her to stop.

Now she was standing in a field facing 3 doors and a voice was telling her to pick a door to walk through. What the hell was going on?

“Wendi, choose a door now.  Be careful  for your future lies within.”

The unearthly voice was booming in her head. She felt compelled to choose. Which one though?

This is a nightmare! It has to be, Wendi thought. Soon I’ll wake up.

She opened the door of her favorite color, red, and felt the heat of hell.

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Daily Prompt, nonfiction, Uncategorized, writing

Daily Prompt: 2100

Daily Prompt: 2100

The language of the future: what will it be like? Write an experimental post using some imagined vocabulary — abbreviations, slang, new terms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

stock-vector-seamless-background-with-words-hello-in-different-languages-19651477

 

 

How will the language be in the year 2100? I don’t know myself, but there are plenty of thoughts out there on the subject.

The world is getting smaller and smaller as new technology grows. Some say that there will only be two languages used in the future. English and Chinese  Mandarin. Yeah, really.

I’ve done a bit of research and came up with several good articles as to why the future language might be these two. One says that it’s based on the finances of the world. If the Chinese become the top in world finances than that language will need to be learned to deal with the top dogs (so to speak).

To quote the article:

Is English or Mandarin the language of the future?

“The decline of the English language probably follows the decline of the US dollar.

“If the Renminbi is becoming the next reserve currency then you have to learn Chinese.”

Another good article that says that the future might well be spoken in Chinese is this one.

What will be the language of the future?

Lee Han Shih, who runs a multimedia company, says English is becoming less important to him financially because he is taking Western clients to do business in China, therefore you need to learn English but you also need to know Chinese.

Nǐ Hǎo – 你好 – Hello

facts-about-mandarin-chinese2.002

 

Other ideas of what language will be spoken in the future or what some call ‘Globish’.

In the early decades of the twentieth century, H.G. Wells imagined what would become known as World English in his prophetic novel, “The World Set Free.”

Today World English is known by several names, perhaps the most catchy of which is Globish, a term popularized by Jean-Paul Nerrière in his book “Don’t Speak English, Parlez Globish.”

In his book “Globish” (2010), Robert McCrum diagnoses English’s “subversive capacity to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds, to articulate the ideas of both government and opposition, to be the language of ordinary people as well as the language of power and authority, rock’n’roll and royal decree.”

You can read more and form your own opinion here:

What’s the language of the future?

 

No matter what you or I think the language will be in the year 2100, I do believe the world will have to accept a more universal language. I won’t be around to see it of course, but it would be interesting to see what happens. Until then I will sign off with the only language I know. English.

Till next time!

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Fiction, Photo Challenges, Serial story, writing

Writing Prompt Pictures Results

Hello and good Tuesday everyone! Hope you got through the dreaded Monday in one piece.

So the results of my post for Another Writing Picture Prompt has ended with a 3 way tie! Three of the pictures got the same number of votes, one picture got one vote and one picture didn’t get any votes.

So today I will do a story with picture #1 Girl in the rain.

Also I think I will do as one very smart reader suggested and do one picture/story each week! Thank you Marlene over at insearchofitall for the suggestion!

Now on to the picture and story. Hope you all enjoy it! If anyone ever comes across a cool picture you think would make for a great prompt let me know! Thanks again.

 

Courtesy of http://creativewriting.ie
Courtesy of http://creativewriting.ie

 

Amber loved rainy days. She’s loved them since she was very young and her mother let her play in the warm summer rain.

She would take her shoes off and just splash in the puddles. Today was another summer rain and she was barefoot once more.

Today had one major difference then the days of her youth. It wasn’t a fun day. In fact it was a rather terrifying day. She wasn’t running in the rain to play, she was running for her life.

Amber didn’t mean to overhear the conversation. Amber didn’t even hear the whole of it, but the part she did hear was enough to put her life in danger.

So she ran. At first she had her shoes on but they soon slipped off her feet as she ran down the sidewalk in the eerily quiet neighborhood. She had zigzagged her way through and came to the part that had big trees and bigger houses set quite a ways off the sidewalk.

Amber would have run into one of them for help, but they were all behind locked iron gates as only the wealthy could afford. She was too afraid to take the time to ring the bells to be let in. If they would even let her in, as right now she looked like a wet, bedraggled waif. Not exactly the type to be visiting these fine fancy digs. So she kept running.

She had lost her shoes but kept hold of the umbrella. Amber laughed at herself. It was a desperate kind of laugh, a scared laugh. Shaking her dark hair out of her face she glanced back and saw nothing but empty streets and the relentless rain.

The street lights flickered to life as the pretty young woman slowed her pace to catch her breath. Glancing behind her once more, big brown eyes looked for anyone following her. She saw no one. She saw no one running, walking or driving behind her. What should have been a relieved moment, wasn’t.  Amber stopped dead right there and turned in a circle.

Where was everyone? It wasn’t that late, why was there no one around? It shouldn’t be so quiet, so calm, so dead.

The breath caught in her chest as she turned once more and looked for any sign of life. There was nothing. No cars, no people, not even a stray cat. Where was everyone? She had been down these same streets countless times and there was always something moving. Someone.

Amber started walking. Still breathless from her running, she thought back on what had started out as a run of the mill day for her. She had gotten up to the sound of the rain. It had put a smile on her young pretty face.

A hot shower and a fresh cup of coffee later, she was dressed and ready for work. She worked in a high-end store of fancy dresses with fancier prices. Amber remembered business had been slow because of the rain.

She didn’t mind as she had taken a book she had been reading with her.  Amber knew it was against the rules to read during work hours, but the owner was away this week. So what could it hurt? If a customer came in she set the book under the counter and gave her customers her undivided attention.

It had been closing time when the trouble had begun. Amber had walked out the back door to dump the trash and heard a faint meow. As she had a soft heart for any animal she looked for where the tiny meow was coming from. She followed the noise behind the big blue dumpster. Crouching low she saw the tiniest kitten in a dark corner.

It had just started to rain again and the kitten was wet and probably hungry. Amber was quietly trying to convince the kitten to trust her when loud voices made themselves known to her.

“Damn it Vince! I told you not to contact me here!” said a loud pissed off masculine voice.

“I know. I know Alesky! I wouldn’t have if I didn’t think it was important!” another male voice said.

“So what’s so important that you come to my place of business when I told you not to?”

The first voice asked the question in a much quieter tone, but to Amber, that quiet voice sent chills down her back.

Obviously it did something to the second man also as Amber heard an apologetic tone to his next words.

“Alesky, please my friend, just listen for a moment and you will see I was right to come here in person.”

“I’m all ears, my friend.”

Amber shivered as she heard the menace in the words of Alesky. She was desperate to leave, but to get back to the store she would have to pass the two men. Amber stayed where she was.

“The shipment that was due in tonight will be delayed for several days.” The second more weak voice said.

“Why?”

“There was a slight problem with getting the merchandise.”

“What problem?” The question was asked very softly and it gave Amber chills, she had never heard such cold, quiet menace in a mans voice like she heard in Alesky’s.

“Alesky! Please! I’m only telling you what I was told!”

Amber heard a slight scuffle as the second man’s voice rose a decibel or two in fear. The kitten must have been scared also as Amber felt it crawl up into her lap. Absently she drew it to her chest and cuddled it in an attempt to calm both of them. She so wanted out of that alley!

“I’m not paying you to tell me that my merchandise is not coming. I’m paying you to do your job! If you can’t you can be replaced Donnie. You would be wise to remember that.”

“I came here in person to tell you Alesky. But I can’t do anything if the merchandise is held up because someone leaked information to the feds!” Whined the man called Donnie.

“Damn it! Find out who leaked the information Donnie. Find out by tomorrow or you will be replaced!”

“And Donnie? When you do find out, bring them to me personally.” said Alesky. “I will deal with him myself.”

“I will Alesky, I will!”

Amber had heard enough. She tried to figure out the best way she could get out of there without the two dangerous sounding men noticing her. She held the kitten and of all things her umbrella. Her purse and keys were still in the shop, She dared not go past the men to try to get them. She just wanted to go home!

Looking around the alley, she noticed if she stayed close to the buildings the dumpsters that lined the alley could hide her  from the men. Slowly she inched her way down the brick wall of the shops. The men she noticed were still talking and she prayed they didn’t spot her. She was just about at the end of the alley when the kitten decided it had been squeezed enough and with a loud meow jumped from her arms. Her umbrella knocked against the last dumpster with a loud bang!

Gasping in fear Amber looked back down the alley and spotted the men looking right at her!

“Hey girly!” yelled the smallish man she knew must be Donnie. The bigger of the two men swore and turned the other way. She heard him say to Donnie, “Find her and find out what she overheard!”

That’s when Amber started to run.

Now she was looking to see if there was anyone, just anyone around. She saw no one. She started running again. Just her and her umbrella. Running for home.

 

 

 

( I know it’s a terrible place to stop the story! But I have my reasons. I got this crazy thought to tie all the pictures together in one story instead of four or five separate stories. They will all relate to one another. How does that sound to you? It will be a challenge for me and fun for you, I hope. So yes, I am stopping here for now. Next Tuesday I will continue on to the next picture and this story. Come back then! See you soon!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, nonfiction, Photo Challenges, postaday

Weekly Photo Challenge: From Lines to Patterns

Weekly Photo Challenge: From Lines to Patterns

From lines to patterns. We see lines and patterns in the world around us, in nature and things man-made. Sometimes we don’t realize they’re there: on the street, across the walls, up in the sky, and along the ground on which we walk.

Today’s challenge is inspired by Evan Zelermyer‘s stunning urban, abstract, and architectural images from his “Shape, Line, Texture, Pattern” post published earlier this week. I’d love to see your interpretations of these elements, so grab your camera, get outside, and snap a great shot of shapes or lines that you stumble upon, or a cool texture or pattern that catches your eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I decided to try to do more of these photo challenges from WordPress. Not only to help me with my photo shooting skills but they also help me open my mind to everyday things. Things that I thought were mundane are suddenly interesting and intriguing. I think that opening up my mind like this helps me become a better writer also. I will ‘see’ things in my mind in new lights and that can’t be a bad thing.

These photos I took around my yard today. I see my fence and steps in a rather fascinating light. The textures, the lines, everything are so much more interesting when you really look at them! Hope you enjoy.

(Please vote on yesterday’s poll for the next photo that I write a story about! Go here and place your vote now! Thank you)

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Fiction, Photo Challenges, Uncategorized, writing

Another Writing Prompt Picture Vote!

I so enjoyed the last time I posted pictures for a writing prompt that I am doing it again my friends! I hope you all will participate and join in the fun!

Below I will list 5 photos  and at the end you can vote for the one you want me to write a short story on. Fun times!

Come one, come all to vote for which photo you want to see a story written by yours truly!

On Monday the 23rd I will see which picture got the most votes and on Tuesday the 24th I will post the winning picture with my short story!

Ready? Set! Go!!!

#1

Courtesy of http://creativewriting.ie
Courtesy of http://creativewriting.ie

#2

http://creativewriting.ie
http://creativewriting.ie

#3

promptsforwriters.blogspot.ca/
promptsforwriters.blogspot.ca/

#4

http://wprasek.com/
http://wprasek.com/

#5

And because it’s getting close to Halloween.

source unknown
Source unknown

Please vote!!!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Fiction, stories, writing

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

by Cheri Lucas Rowlands on September 16, 2013

We blog for a million different reasons, but in the end, we’re all storytellers. Creative Writing Challenges are here to help you push your writing boundaries and explore new ideas, subjects, and writing styles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Is it dead?”

“Yup, pretty sure it is.” Rob stated as he poked the lump in the road with his stick.

“Do you think it was hit by a car?” asked Rob’s little sister Emma.

Rob was still poking it with his stick as he squatted down for a closer look.

“Don’t be silly Em, cars don’t usually come down this old back road. Least not since they built that highway further north.”

“Well then why is it dead? Answer me that smarty pants!”

Emma stood next to her brother, small hands on small hips. A pout forming on her young lips. She was a younger,  feminine version of the young boy with serious brown eyes who was studying the form lying motionless on the cracked worn road.

Standing straight Rob ignored Emma’s pout. He was used to his little sister’s ways and knew if you ignored her pout, she put it away.

Emma was a kind-hearted girl Rob knew, just young and a bit flighty. At the ripe old age of twelve Rob felt protective of his sister and was ever patient with her. Home was about half a mile down a dirt road, vaguely seen through the tall weeds off to the right. It was Saturday, so no school today. Rob and Emma’s parents were screaming at each other, again. So Rob took his sister for a walk to dry her tears and take her away from the yelling adults.

Home was not always pleasant and sometimes cruel, but it was the only home they knew. Rob hated when his parents fought, hated it worse when his Dad used his fists. Which he did too often. That’s when he would take Emma for a long walk. He would show her all the secrets of the woods and fields around the house. They usually walked till they couldn’t hear the screamin’ any more. Sometimes, like today, they had to walk all the way to the main road.

“Don’t rightly know why it’s dead Em. Maybe it was sick.”

Rob looked down at his 10-year-old sister and watched as her eyes filled with tears. His Em hated it when they found dead animals. Especially young ones like the small fawn. Didn’t have any blood around it, so Rob wasn’t sure what happened. He didn’t like finding small animals like this either. The young boy wanted to be a Vet when he grew up. He loved animals of all kinds and was always helping ones he found in the woods.

“Can you help it Rob? Can you make it better?” Emma asked with big brother worship. In her mind Rob was her hero and could do anything!

“I’m thinkin‘ it’s past help Em.”

“You gotta try! Please?!”

Frowning down at his sister, Rob sighed. One day he knew Em was going to drive the young men wild. He was going to make sure he was around then. He would make sure no one took advantage of her big heart. In the meantime, like those distant men in the future, he couldn’t deny his sister.

Kneeling on the rough road, Rob laid down his stick and rubbed his hands over the fawn. He noticed the body was warm yet. Surprised he slowed his hands and held his breath. Yes! He felt a faint heartbeat under his palm. The fawn was alive!

“It’s alive Em!”

“Really? Oh Rob! You did help it!” Emma cried as she jumped up and down next to her hero.

“Hush Em!”

Rob felt for any injuries and was surprised again when he didn’t find any.  If he didn’t know better he would think the fawn was just sleeping.

“Rob! Look! ” Emma whispered loudly.

Rob looked up and spotted a full-grown female deer in a small clearing. She was watching them intently, her ears forward and twitching.

“Is that the Mama deer?” Em asked her brother.

“It just might be Em.”

After watching the deer for a minute Rob looked down at the fawn. Gently he scooped it up in his young arms and stood.

“Stay here Em.” Rob told his sister as he slowly started to walk toward the deer with his young bundle in his arms.

The female doe blew nervously out her nose, but stood her ground. Rob got within a few feet of her and gently laid the fawn down on some soft grass. He slowly turned around and walked back to where Em was waiting for him.

Emma’s eyes were huge and her small hand was covering her mouth. When Rob reached her side he turned to look back at the doe. His smile grew as he watched the doe nudge and lick the fawn. Then the fawn stood up on long thin legs and leaned against his Mama.

“Oh Rob!” Emma softly said through her hand.

Rob and Emma watched as the fawn started to feed from its mother. Rob put his arm around his young sister and whispered.

“See Em, sometimes miracles do happen. Ain’t I always telling you that?”

He felt her small hand clasp his own and heard her whisper back.

“Yup, I believe you. Like when you are always telling me one day we can leave the yelling and fists behind.”

“One day we will Em and we’ll never look back.”

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Fiction, Friday Fictioneers, Photo Challenges, postaday, stories, writing

Friday Fictioneers ~~ September 20, 2013

Yes, yes I know it’s not Friday, but I just had to get this written today. A story popped into my head the moment I saw the picture and it won’t let me go till I write it!

So I thought I would do it today instead of waiting till Friday. I’m sure you won’t mind.

Thanks go out once more to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for her mighty hosting abilities. If you would like to participate in this weekly fun or just want to read more stories based on the same picture please just click on Rochelle’s name and read read read!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

Copyright - John Nixon
Copyright – John Nixon

 

 

Genre/General Fiction – 101 words

 

“See you next week!” Gramps called from the doorway.

I waved him goodbye. I first met Gramps a year ago.  His wife was sick he explained. He wanted to try to entice her appetite with special tidbits that were more than he could afford. I was happy to help him out, after all I benefited too from the wonderful things he brought me. I asked him once where he got all the beautiful items. He told me he had always been a collector.

Gramps got in the car, turned to his nephew and said, “Well boy, let’s go hit the next house.”

 

Posted in Blogging, Humor, postaday, Uncategorized, writing

Daily Prompt: The Cat Says Meow

Daily Prompt: The Cat Says Meow

Write a story about yourself from the perspective of an object, thing, animal, or another person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh oh, here she comes again.”

I sit in my chair and push the on button. Sitting back with my first cup of coffee, I stretch and yawn. Another day has started.

“Oh man, it seems like she just shut me down for the night!”

Thinking of all the things I need to do today, I sip my coffee and wait for the computer to boot up.

” I sure wish she would sleep late for one day. I am so tired.” Groooannnn…….. “I’m taking my time this morning.”

Impatiently I tap my slippered foot. Sure seems like my computer is going much slower than usual today. Maybe I need to clean it out and defrag it.

“Guess I put it off for as long as possible. If I delay much longer she might want to defrag me. I hate that!”

Finally it’s up and going! So I log in to WordPress to see what’s going on, check on my blogs, answer anyone who made comments. I smile as I see some online buddies have said something to me. I love comments!

“Ouch! Ugh! Owww! Does she have to hit my keys so enthusiasticly? That stings! I”m not made out of steel for Pete’s sake!”

Then I go to my emails. I have so many! Wow! I really need to take the time to get rid of some.

“I sure wish she would empty me out some. I’m getting so full from all this information! I don’t need all this on my hard drive. You would think she knew better after all these years.”

After answering a few of the more urgent emails I decide to do a little web surfing. Never know what I might find to get the old creative juices flowing.

“Don’t tell me we are going surfing again! I get so sick from that! Motion sickness they called it at WebMD. I call it foolishness!”

I better stop for now. It’s time to get dressed and face another day. Maybe I’ll check out some funny pictures after I’m dressed. They are always good for a few laughs!

“Good, she’s leaving. Probably just getting dressed, but at least I can take a break. She is always pounding on my keys or surfing the web, or doing something on me! I get so very tired but she is like a nightmare come to life. She never stops! I just hope when she gets back, she doesn’t go looking at funny cat pictures again. I’m allergic to cats!”

Copyright © toons4biz
Copyright © toons4biz

 

Posted in Blogging, Humor, nonfiction, postaday

A Very Funny Story

Hello dear readers! Hope your weekend was fabulous! Now the dreaded Monday is here so I thought you might enjoy a good belly laugh.

The following post was sent to me by a dear friend a few years ago. Maybe some of you have read it, maybe not. Either way it’s a very funny story. Supposedly it’s based on truth. I tried to find the original owner of it but I couldn’t.

I re-read it this morning and it still made me laugh till tears came. I hope you enjoy it as much I do.

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Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who
purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

http://ww2.cacitches.com/
http://ww2.cacitches.com/

Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser. The effects of the Taser were supposed to be short-lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety….??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the
button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I
pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same
time; I’d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between
the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself
that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking
that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving
target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was
going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger,
I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my
reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose ,directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and
disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause
muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I’m looking at this little device measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, “no possible way!”

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my
best…? I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head
cocked to one side as to say, “don’t do it dip shit,” reasoning that a
one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all
that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of
it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .
HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door,
picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before,
clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to “mug” yourself with a taser,
one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is
Dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet
or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both
nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up
with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone.; I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe was came from my hair. I’m still looking for my testicles and I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S.  My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me
with it!
“If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid.”
 

Posted in Blog challenge, Blogging, Humor, postaday, Stories of my life, writing

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inside

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inside

 

This weeks photo challenge: Inside could go in so many ways. The possibilities are endless!

 

Like my cutie Sam,  sleeping inside his box.

Sam inside his box
Sam inside his box (C) JLPhillips 2013

 

 

Then there is the inside of a good book.

A book I've read (c) JLPhillips 2013
A book I’ve read (c) JLPhillips 2013

 

Of course I can’t forget the elixir of my life inside my coffee cup.

 

My addiction, Tim Hortons coffee (C)JLPhillips 2013
My addiction, Tim Hortons coffee (C) JLPhillips 2013

 

Then there is the inside of my computer. This is where my online friends are and my writings. So you can see it holds some precious things.

My lifeline, my computer (C) JLPhillips 2013
My lifeline, my computer
(C) JLPhillips 2013

 

The inside of my head is pretty important too. That’s where my imagination is so I can write stories, find ideas, think through problems and sometimes even say “You’re doing pretty damn good girl!” to myself.

JLPhillips
Me! Of course not exactly the inside of my head, because that might be kind of icky. (C) JLPhillips 2013

 

 

So what kind of inside things is important to you?