Hello people! I’m earlier than usual with my Friday Fictioneer story, but I’m having a super busy week and I didn’t want to take the chance of missing it. It’s a hard one too this week, well for me it is. I really had to think about it.
If you would like to read more great stories based on the same picture or maybe participate, click here to read the few rules we try to follow and don’t forget to read our hostess’s great story too! If you just want to read more stories, click here and enjoy!
One more thing, if you like FF’s, Michael from Morpethroad and I did a longer story based on a couple of our Friday Fictioneer flash stories. If you would like to read it, please click the name The Cat People of Kagir Manor and we would be happy to have you read it. Thanks!
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.
Genre: Fiction (99 words)
“That old hotel had some pretty good lamps left Helen.”
“Sure did Sam! We should make one more run, ‘fore it gets blown up today.”
“Was talking to those demolition guys yesterday. It’s not scheduled till 3 pm.”
“Lot’s of time left. We should stop for a burger first.”
After burgers and cokes Helen and Sam snuck unnoticed into the old hotel to grab the rest of their loot.
A few blocks away the demolition boss spoke to his men.
“I know its early Bill, but it’s all clear, might as well get it done.”
Minutes later the hotel was just dust and rubble.
The Last Chapter 
That had a good pop at the end…or should I say good ‘splosion!
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Thanks Helen! Nothing like a good Boom!
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Demolition guys and schedules, you just can’t trust them. Great story Jackie, shame all that loot went up in dust and smoke.
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Not to mention Helen and Sam! haha. Stealing is never a good thing. Thank you Michael.
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Oh my. They keep telling us that eating fast food will kill you. 🙂
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hahaha! I never thought of that! Good one Marlene! 🙂
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Somehow I just knew that was coming. They went out with a bang at least. 🙂
janet
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They never felt a thing. 🙂
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Is the the Big Bang Theory?
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For them it was.
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That’s why I never eat hamburgers 🙂 Excellent explosives in this story Jackie!!
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thank you tiny! 🙂 yup those burgers will get you!
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Sam and Helen…. RIP
What a great ending..
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Thanks! Glad you stopped in.
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Oh man. Well I guess you suffer the consequences when you go looting. Good story.
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Thanks Kim. Karma is a hard taskmaster sometimes.
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Don’t I know.
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Oh, if only they would have done one final sweep. This is tragic! Great story, Jackie!
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Thanks Amy!
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Timing is everything in this life. Nice take. 🙂
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Thank you Sandra. 🙂
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Even knowing what was coming I enjoyed this. Karma is a troublemaker. Nice story.
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It was pretty obvious, but I just had to go there. Thanks for reading 🙂
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Dear Jackie,
Natural dialogue with an explosive ending. So much for Sam and Helen’s looting…ever. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle. Yes, karma is sometimes quite unkindly.
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Haha! Oh no! That’s what happens when you get greedy. 😉 Nice job.
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Thank you Deanna! 🙂
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Ooh noo. Not the nicest of last meals, either 🙂
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I think their whole lifestyle was probably not the best. Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
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Good story, especially the surprise ending. That seems like a pretty stiff penalty for theft though.
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Well it’s not something that was suppose to happen, but it was just the way the story went. Thanks for reading! 🙂
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explosive tale 🙂 they were thieves but they didn’t deserve to be blown into smithereens! but oh well,such is life 🙂
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Or such is death. Thanks for reading kz! 🙂
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Yikers! That just goes to show you how burgers and soda will shorten your life span. Darkly funny. I had fun with this one.
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Oh snap! Guess procrastination can kill after all ouch!
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sometimes! thanks for reading.
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Timing is Everything! Thanks, Nan
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Yes it is. Thanks for reading!
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they should have asked for permission first. too late now.
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Ah yes, they should have. Thanks for stopping by!
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I love it. Original and well-written.
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Thank you!
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And boom they go…. I feel a little sad for lazy looters
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Yes me too. Thanks for reading Bjorn.
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Ha! Poor Helen and Sam! Who knew stopping for a burger could get the schedule all blown out of proportion like that! 😀 Loved it Jackie!
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thank you Linda! 🙂
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I knew they shouldn’t stop for a burger!
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Nope fatal mistake. 🙂
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Things always go wrong for me when I stop for a burger. 🙂
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Yeah, those things are killers. 🙂
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