Welcome to the land of Friday Fictioneers which starts on Wednesday. Please don’t be confused, as people from all over the world participate and so the challenge has to start on Wednesday to be fair to those all over.
Thanks for reading and visiting and if you would like to participate with us please head over to the head mistress Rochelle’s blog and read up on the few rules. If you just want to read other great stories based from the same picture then click here and read away! Oh, make sure you read and comment on mine first though. Thank you very much!
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.
Genre: Literary Fiction (102 words)
Gasping from the heat, having had no water for days, Henri stumbled and fell. His dry, cracked, bleeding lips moved in silence. His claw like fingers digging in the hot scorched earth.
His feet bare, blistered, raw from running, walking, crawling. His caked eyes red from the glare of the sun. He drew himself up, shaky on weak legs. He took another leaden step, then another.
He had to keep moving or die in the heat of the afternoon sun.
Henri jerked awake, swung his legs off the bed. Naught but a nightmare. He stood and limped to the sink for another drink of precious water.
This is a lovely clever story Jackie. I like how after the nightmare he limps to the kitchen. Well done, very engaging story.
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Thank you Michael. Appreciate you reading.
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at first, i thought it was real. glad it was just a dream.
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Thanks for stopping by!
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You did a very good job of convincing your readers that this poor soul was frying in an unescapable arid landscape. Glad to read it was a dream.
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I do try to be convincing. Thanks!
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Creative! As always. I came to think of the fact that we often take clean refreshing water for granted, but we shouldn’t. Great story!
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Thank you tiny! We do take certain things for granted.
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Off for a cup of tea now. Convincingly done.
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Thank you Sandra.
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Phew!What nightmare!Wonderfully done-seemed too real for comfort 😉
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Just a bit. Thanks! 🙂
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🙂
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Dear Jackie,
I thirsty now. 😉 Why do I have the feeling by the term “precious water” that there’s some reality to his nightmare? Good one.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Yay!! You caught it Rochelle! I knew you would. I do believe I was much too subtle. 😉
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Phew! Nasty dream to have though. You did a good job of convincing me it was real before he woke up!
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Ahhh, but was it just a dream?? Thanks for reading!
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Dreams can be so real, can’t they? I’m glad this was just a dream although the word “precious” sounds as though there might be some basis in reality.
janet
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Aha! You and Rochelle and one other person are the only ones that caught the subtleness, I think I was too subtle. Thank you janet! 🙂
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One of your better ones I’ve read so far! Good, tight descriptions – not overdone. Nice surprise ending.
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thank you so much Sammy! Appreciate it.
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you were able to capture how nightmares can trick us into feeling that everything going on is real… and though it was just a dream for the protagonist, i’m afraid it might soon come true. well done.
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thank you kz!
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“… for another drink of precious water.”
It wasn’t just a nightmare, was it?
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Good of you to catch on! It was a nightmare of reality before it.
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This is a horrible nightmare. I really felt it was real as you told it. Well done!
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Thanks Amy!
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Exactly.. yes that’s how nightmares feel … I need to get a drink of water.
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Thank you Bjorn!
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I think his thirst is all-too-real in his waking life as well, considering your last line. Add to that the fact he seems to limp in real life, too. I feel bad for this dude…hope he pulls through the tough times!
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Thank you Hala J, you are the only one so far that has caught the limping. Good going! He will pull through now that he has his precious water.
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Beautifully descriptive. I’m glad it turned out to be a dream. I didn’t rate his chances otherwise.
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Thank you Sarah.
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You had me going, Jackie; I was sure this wouldn’t end well. Nice job!
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Thank you!
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You know, that describes the actual climb up the damn volcano pretty well!
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It looked like that’s how it would be. Glad I got it right!
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Nice twist. Headed to the kitchen myself after reading this.
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haha! Seems to make a lot thirsty. 🙂
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Awesome descriptions!
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Thanks Dawn!
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Ha ha! You got me. I thought something was coming along to get him – something from a horror flick. 😉 Great ending!
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Thanks! 🙂
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Thorough description paints a real word picture. Well done. This is happening. It used to be that I could just turn on the faucet for water. Now I order bottled water by the carton. I don’t trust the city water and the pressure on our flat level isn’t sufficient for the water filter to work.
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Thank you! I buy bottled water too, as I don’t trust my tap water either.
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