Blog challenge · Fiction · Flash Fiction · Friday Fictioneers · writing

Friday Fictioneers ~~ March 7, 2014

JackieP

Welcome to the land of Friday Fictioneers which starts on Wednesday. Please don’t be confused, as people from all over the world participate and so the challenge has to start on Wednesday to be fair to those all over.

Thanks for reading and visiting and if you would like to participate with us please head over to the head mistress Rochelle’s  blog and read up on the few rules. If you just want to read other great stories based from the same picture then click here and read away! Oh, make sure you read and comment on mine first though. Thank you very much!

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.

Copyright – Danny Bowman
Copyright – Danny Bowman

 

Genre: Literary Fiction (102 words)

 

Gasping from the heat, having had no water for days, Henri stumbled and fell. His dry, cracked, bleeding lips moved in silence. His claw like fingers digging in the hot scorched earth.

His feet bare, blistered,  raw from running, walking, crawling. His caked eyes red from the glare of the sun. He drew himself up, shaky on weak legs. He took another leaden step, then another.

He had to keep moving or die in the heat of the afternoon sun.

Henri jerked awake, swung his legs off the bed. Naught but a nightmare. He stood and limped to the sink for another drink of precious water.

45 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~~ March 7, 2014”

  3. You did a very good job of convincing your readers that this poor soul was frying in an unescapable arid landscape. Glad to read it was a dream.

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  4. Creative! As always. I came to think of the fact that we often take clean refreshing water for granted, but we shouldn’t. Great story!

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  7. Dear Jackie,

    I thirsty now. 😉 Why do I have the feeling by the term “precious water” that there’s some reality to his nightmare? Good one.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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  9. Dreams can be so real, can’t they? I’m glad this was just a dream although the word “precious” sounds as though there might be some basis in reality.

    janet

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    1. Aha! You and Rochelle and one other person are the only ones that caught the subtleness, I think I was too subtle. Thank you janet! 🙂

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  11. you were able to capture how nightmares can trick us into feeling that everything going on is real… and though it was just a dream for the protagonist, i’m afraid it might soon come true. well done.

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  15. I think his thirst is all-too-real in his waking life as well, considering your last line. Add to that the fact he seems to limp in real life, too. I feel bad for this dude…hope he pulls through the tough times!

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    1. Thank you Hala J, you are the only one so far that has caught the limping. Good going! He will pull through now that he has his precious water.

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  16. Beautifully descriptive. I’m glad it turned out to be a dream. I didn’t rate his chances otherwise.

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  22. Thorough description paints a real word picture. Well done. This is happening. It used to be that I could just turn on the faucet for water. Now I order bottled water by the carton. I don’t trust the city water and the pressure on our flat level isn’t sufficient for the water filter to work.

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