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Friday Fictioneers ~~ March 21, 2014

JackieP

Good day people! Hope your week has been going super.

As you can see it’s that time again. Friday Fictioneers time! Please take the time to cheer on with comments your hard-working writers. Go and participate or go and just enjoy so many stories based on the same picture.

Go here to read the rules and say hi to our wonderful talented hostess Rochelle.

Go here to read all the other magical stories.

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)

THE KEY:

MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.

Copyright -Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
Copyright Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

Genre: Literary Fiction (104 words)

Running down the alley, he flung the gun into a dumpster. He heard the sirens behind him. The clerk in the store should have just handed over the money. Instead, he died trying to be a hero.

 

He noticed the old building up ahead.  If he could reach the roof, he’d be scott free. He ran inside the old elevator, slammed the iron doors shut.  Quickly punching the top floor number he laughed, thinking how he outsmarted the cops.

His scream could be heard a few minutes later as the elevator cable snapped.

A piece of paper ruffled with the breeze, it had come away from its tape.

“Elevator Broken”

 

62 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~~ March 21, 2014”

  10. Dear Jackie,

    Maryann took the comment right from my mouth. I wondered if anyone would zero in on the tape or note. I didn’t even notice it when I took the picture. Good use of it. Nice job.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  14. Good use of the details in the prompt Jackie! 🙂
    Yours is the first one I have read till now which used any part of the details – specifically the tape part.

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  15. Good story, Jackie. I was also thinking that although I saw the tape, it didn’t really register as the starting point for a story. (But then mine is a complete riff on the idea, rather than anything literal in the photo, so…) That’s one of the things that makes reading the other stories so much fun.

    janet

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  16. Awesome! Way to include the tape stuck on from the picture. You weaved that into the story perfectly. This was a great and complete story in so little time. Kudos.

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  17. he definitely had it coming 🙂 great story, Jackie. i think it’s awesome that you were able to write a tale inspired by the piece of tape 🙂

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  23. Great pace to the story — I’m almost out of breath reading it. Nice attention to detail with the tape.

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  26. Excellent take on the prompt Jackie-I am in awe of your eye for finer details and using that in your story-loved that he did not really get away after killing an innocent man 🙂

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  27. Wow! I didn’t even notice the white paper or tape at first glance. Looks like the robber didn’t either:) I wouldn’t have hoped for that ending but since he killed the man, oh well. That was a good one.

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