Good day people! Hope your week has been going super.
As you can see it’s that time again. Friday Fictioneers time! Please take the time to cheer on with comments your hard-working writers. Go and participate or go and just enjoy so many stories based on the same picture.
Go here to read the rules and say hi to our wonderful talented hostess Rochelle.
Go here to read all the other magical stories.
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and an end. (No one will be ostracized for going a few words over the count.)
THE KEY:
MAKE. EVERY. WORD. COUNT.
Genre: Literary Fiction (104 words)
Running down the alley, he flung the gun into a dumpster. He heard the sirens behind him. The clerk in the store should have just handed over the money. Instead, he died trying to be a hero.
He noticed the old building up ahead. If he could reach the roof, he’d be scott free. He ran inside the old elevator, slammed the iron doors shut. Quickly punching the top floor number he laughed, thinking how he outsmarted the cops.
His scream could be heard a few minutes later as the elevator cable snapped.
A piece of paper ruffled with the breeze, it had come away from its tape.
“Elevator Broken”
Whew- I can just see the paper flutter!
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Well tape is unreliable you know. Thanks for stopping in!
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Well done Jackie, you create a an excellent sense of chase and unfortunate discovery.
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Thanks Michael. I feel he got his just reward, mean that I am. 🙂
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Bravo! Very much action in 100 words – and an unexpected ending again!
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Thank you tiny! Well I love unexpected endings. 🙂
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It seems fate had her own plans for him …
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Fate usually does. Thanks for stopping in!
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ooh good one. Just desserts and karma and all that…
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Exactly! Thanks for coming by Sammy!
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Oh no! Big oops, Jackie. Great work, lots of detail here.
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Thanks Amy! I try, some pictures are harder then others, but that’s the challenge. 🙂
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Well done Jackie. Karma is a bitch. 🙂
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Oh that it is Kim. 🙂
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Can’t say he didn’t earn it. I like it!
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He did indeed earn it. Thanks Melanie!
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Great use of a detail in the photo. There may be others but this is the first post that used the tape as an angle and I really enjoyed it.
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Thank you Maryann! Actually the whole story was based on that piece of tape. I just ran with it.
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What Maryann Said.
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Thanks 🙂
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Dear Jackie,
Maryann took the comment right from my mouth. I wondered if anyone would zero in on the tape or note. I didn’t even notice it when I took the picture. Good use of it. Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle.
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And he thought he got away! Didn’t anyone ever tell him, what goes around… Nice job!
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Thank you Judah! Glad you could stop by.
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Well he had it coming… or going. Nicely done Jackie.
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Thank you Sandra.
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Great story and I loved the way you worked that bit of paper into the story. You are the only one who did. 🙂
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Thanks Sarah! I’m surprised no one else got that. 🙂
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Good use of the details in the prompt Jackie! 🙂
Yours is the first one I have read till now which used any part of the details – specifically the tape part.
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Thank you! Glad you stopped in! 🙂
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Good story, Jackie. I was also thinking that although I saw the tape, it didn’t really register as the starting point for a story. (But then mine is a complete riff on the idea, rather than anything literal in the photo, so…) That’s one of the things that makes reading the other stories so much fun.
janet
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I love how so many writers take one photo and go off in so many directions. Thanks Janet.
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Awesome! Way to include the tape stuck on from the picture. You weaved that into the story perfectly. This was a great and complete story in so little time. Kudos.
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Thank you so much! I appreciate you coming by!
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he definitely had it coming 🙂 great story, Jackie. i think it’s awesome that you were able to write a tale inspired by the piece of tape 🙂
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Thank you kz! Appreciate it
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You’ve managed to get a whole detailed story in just a few words, Jackie. Good one!
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thank you Karen! Appreciate the kind words.
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That’s karma for you 🙂
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Sure is! 🙂
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Well done. He was his own worst enemy. Terrible and scary way to go. Gravity had the last word.
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With most bad guys they are their own worst enemy. Thanks for reading Patricia.
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And he wouldn’t be dead if he would have just taken the stairs 😉
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So true, but he seems to have been the type that made bad decisions all the way around. 😉
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Ha ha, karma’s a bitch and all that. Great story!
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That she is! Thanks!
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Great pace to the story — I’m almost out of breath reading it. Nice attention to detail with the tape.
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Thank you Helena!
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Ah.. that you could say is justice served… the tape was a detail I saw, but never figured our how to weave in.
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Thank you Bjorn! Glad you stopped in.
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Irony and justice collide in an elevator shaft.
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lots of things collided this week in an elevator shaft. 😉
thanks for coming by Dawn.
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Lol…that they did.
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Excellent take on the prompt Jackie-I am in awe of your eye for finer details and using that in your story-loved that he did not really get away after killing an innocent man 🙂
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thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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🙂
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Wow! I didn’t even notice the white paper or tape at first glance. Looks like the robber didn’t either:) I wouldn’t have hoped for that ending but since he killed the man, oh well. That was a good one.
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Karma will get you. lol thanks Marlene! 🙂
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Jackie, how perfect for the elevator cable to break with him. You did a good take on the prompt. Excellent writing! Great! Nan 🙂
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Thank you Nan. 🙂
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Oops. Well, he got what he deserved. Maybe. Good one.
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Thank you Sarah Ann.
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