Humor · Mi Vida Loca · Monday Meeting · nonfiction · postaday · Stories of my life

Monday Meeting ~~ On A Tuesday! ~~ September 29, 2015

I’m running late…late…late! So without further ado, let’s get this meeting started.

 

Monday Meeting

 

Good morning, afternoon, evening people. I do hope your week is going well. Mine as you can tell is going fast! As I am late with my Monday Meeting. I’ve been one busy lady lately. Busy with what you ask? Well, even if you didn’t ask, I’m going to tell you. Ha!

I told you last Monday that my mother (who lives in Wisconsin) made the request that she wanted a sweatshirt with the Canadian maple leaf and she wanted it to say Canada on it. Now that should have been an easy find, after all, I live in Canada! I’m close to the border, so we get a lot of Americans here, easy peasy, right? WRONG!

I ran all over town and do you think I could find a medium sweatshirt with ‘Canada’ on it with a maple leaf? Nope…not a one in sight. Now, my 86-year-old mother doesn’t need clothes. She is what I call a clothes hog. She lives alone in a three-bedroom house, all the bedrooms have closets…big closets. Do you want to guess what’s in those closets? Clothes, you answer rolling your eyes at my naivety. You would be right, of course, well not at my naivety, so keep those eyes steady will ya, but at the word ‘clothes’. They are full of clothes. My mother’s clothes. All the closets. Every. Single. One. Stuffed full.

They are so full that my mother culls them out a couple of times a year and gives what she doesn’t want anymore to her grandkids. And her granddaughters love wearing Grandma’s clothes! Now see, right there it tells you my mother has good taste in clothes. How many girls want to wear their grandmother’s clothes? Anyway, I digress.

Mom doesn’t ask much from me. Hardly anything in all the years I’ve been gone. So when she put in the request for a sweatshirt I was more than happy to take on the task. Foolish me. Let me give you a rundown on how my last five days has gone.

Day One…I talk to Mom on the phone, she puts in a request for a sweatshirt. No problem. Easy enough done. I talk to the husband and even he thinks it won’t be a big deal. We plan to go the next day. So I carry on with my innocent self, doing my edits on A Case of Deceit. Don’t even think about it much anymore.

Day Two…Still innocent and trusting I get up, have my cups of coffee and off the husband and I go for a little trip into town. First stop, Walmart….look in both women’s and men’s clothing. No Canada sweatshirt. Ok, no problem. We go to a place called ‘Hoodies’ who specialize in hoodies (duh!) T-shirts and sweats. I knew it would probably be expensive, but hey, Mom is worth it and she’s paying for it anyway. Oh yeah, they were expensive but….no ‘Canada’ sweatshirt. The lady sends us to the mall, maybe Sears has one. I hate the mall. Haven’t been to one in more than five years. Don’t want to go…..but….Mom……so I go. Hubby stays in the car, smart man. He can’t walk the mall anyway, too painful. So off I go…a little less innocent, but not jaded….yet.

I search Sears to no avail. I ask in the Women’s department. No Canada sweatshirt. They show me a few, but mom wouldn’t like them. More geared to the teenage crowd. Not for my elderly mother. So I decide to go into the dreaded mall. My eyes darting here and there like a frightened deer. It wasn’t very crowded being the middle of the week. Ok, I can handle this. I find a map of the place. Hm, lots of womenswear, but nothing I really want to venture into. Not even for Mom. Maybe they have a shop for things like I wanted. Hey, I don’t know. I don’t shop, much less shop at the mall. Plus, I’m getting tired.

I’m in the middle of the mall. I’m tired and thirsty and looking for my way out. The mall has kiosks set up throughout. I see one with a handsome young man manning it. He’s dressed like most young men, stylish yet comfortable. He’s in the mall every day, he must know what’s in it. Plus….did I tell you he was handsome? Oh yes, he was. Dark brown hair with eyes to match and a nicely trimmed beard. He also had a smile that lit up his face and eyes that twinkled. Or maybe he thought I was going to buy something. I didn’t care. I wanted to stop and say hi….so I did. Eh, hubby was in the parking lot. I was free….and easy apparently.

So I say ‘hi!’ and ask him if he knew of anyplace in town that sold sweatshirts that said ‘Canada’ on them. His brown eyes get serious and I can see he’s really giving it some deep thoughts. You would have thought I asked him about the world’s politics he gave it such serious thought. He was a nice young man being nice to an old lady that was harboring some nice thoughts of her own. Hey, I’m old, not dead. Anyway, he smiles his megawatt smile at me and says….’Try the Dollar Store! That’s where I go when I want something with ‘Canada’ on it!’

I thank him and tell him I would never have thought of that and take my leave. I find my way out of the hated mall and tell the husband to take me home. I’ve had enough for one day.

Day Three….I get on the internet and try to find the sweatshirt from hell. I find all sorts at Amazon.ca. Aha! If I can’t find one in town, I will just order her one from Amazon. That’s not cheating is it? No….well ok, maybe. I don’t have to tell Mom do I? I feel my aching legs from yesterday’s excursion and sigh. I do more edits on my story and try to forget about shopping for a while.

Day Four….My stepson tells the hubby (after hubby told him all about our shopping experience, minus the handsome young man, because, well I didn’t tell the husband about him) that he will take the husband to a store that he assures us will have the sweatshirt. Yay! One more day of no shopping for me! So I send the husband off with the son and wish them well (besides, lately the husband doesn’t want to do anything, so I take this as a good sign). I stay home and do housework and more edits. Hm, maybe I didn’t get the better end of the deal…..

The husband comes home empty-handed. No sweatshirt. Dammit. So we make plans to go to one more place the next day that I had thought about while he was gone. Yes, I had a revelation! If this place didn’t have what I wanted, Amazon was going to be visited by the bad daughter and an order would be put forth. Hell is where I was going……..sorry Mom.

Day Five….We get up, have my much-needed coffee and set forth on the quest of the damn sweatshirt. My revelation from the day before? The Tourist Information building! They have a gift store inside, they have got to have all sorts of things that say Canada on them! My legs still ache from day one, so I’m walking slower and going up steps are a bitch….but off we go. It’s on the other side of town. Of course it is. We’ve never been to it because we live here. So, no reason to go.

I grit my teeth and we finally find the place. I’m praying to the tourist gods that they have what I need. We walk inside and are greeted by the nice older man and my eye spots racks of…..shirts! T-shirts! Hoodies! Sweatshirts! They all say Canada on them! YES!!! Paydirt!! I make a beeline over to the racks and I can feel myself becoming something I never thought I would be in this lifetime…..a shopper! I’ve gone over to the Darkside…….

If my legs hadn’t hurt so much, I would have danced a jig….please, no pictures……

I find a couple of shirts I know my mom will like. One even has bling on it! She loves bling……It’s a black zippered sweater/sweatshirt with pink rhinestones that spell out ‘Canada’. Perfect! I also find a shirt that says ‘Lethbridge, Canada’ (where I live). So another score! It has a maple leaf on it too. The husband decides to buy my mother a maple syrup sucker in the shape of a….maple leaf! Hey, I add it to the shirts, she’ll get a kick out of it.

I pay for our purchases and walk out a daughter champion. Guess I’m not going to hell after all. At least not for ordering the shirts from Amazon. But…..maybe for the thoughts about the handsome young man………….ah……it would be worth it!

 

 

 

So hell will have to do without me for a while longer….How’s your week going?