His Days (about the husband) · Monday Meeting · nonfiction · postaday · Stories of my life

Monday Meeting ~~ May 2, 2016

JackieP

Hello, People! It’s been a while since I posted a Monday Meeting. I haven’t been posting much at all the last few months. I’ll tell you why later during the meeting. So, let’s begin shall we?

 

Monday Meeting

 

Grab yourself something to drink. A cold one, a hot one, a wet one or a dry one. Your choice. Maybe even a snack. After all, it’s virtual and doesn’t cost me anything. Not that I wouldn’t supply the drinks and snacks if it was real, I would. I may be poor but I’m not cheap. Anyway, I digress.

Let’s get started with news on the husband. I wish I could say I have good news. Not sure if I do. His health is not getting better. Sometimes I think it’s getting worse, or that just might be because I’m exhausted. I don’t know anymore.

He’s been having bad reactions to the chemo lately. The last couple of months he’s had to stop his chemo drugs as they were making him throw up. We talked to his cancer crew at the Cancer Clinic last month and they said to just keep trying to take the chemo. They also said that if he starts throwing up again, to stop taking them, as they didn’t want to damage his kidneys. They have him on anti-nausea pills but he still throws up. It is so hard seeing him seemingly get worse from drugs that are supposed to make him better.

I did get a chance to read his medical reports and the cancer doctor did state in them that it would surprise him if the husband would be able to tolerate the high dose he’s on. Well, guess what Doc? He can’t!

We will be talking to the cancer crew on Thursday. Hopefully, he will/can get a lower dose. If not, I think the husband will just stop the chemo altogether. He’s talked about it. Of course, he’s talked about wanting to die again too. He’s just in so much pain.

Good news front….I think it’s good news. I’m still waiting to see if it is or not. The husband got accepted to AISH…finally! After three years of trying. AISH is a government benefit program for people who are termed disabled and unable to work because of health reasons. Getting on AISH is a big deal to us, as it means a little more money every month and better medical coverage. It also could mean that the husband could get bars put in the shower to help him get in and out (we can’t afford them). He could also get other help. I’m kind of in limbo about how I feel about it all.

All the reams of paperwork I did on that for three years or more. It was a lot. Governments are the same everywhere. I think it’s just too soon to celebrate as all we have had so far is a phone call. I’m waiting for the official paperwork.

I’ve also had bad news about my mother. She was in the hospital for a few days a couple of weeks ago. She fell at home and couldn’t get back up. Her legs just failed. Thankfully she didn’t break anything but she is now having to use a walker and have someone live with her. My sister has been staying with her most of the time. I don’t know how long that will last as my sister has a family of her own. For now, my brother-in-law is holding down the fort. My mother also has ‘bleeding intestines’.

When I asked her what that meant, she said the small blood vessels in her intestines are weak and will break. The doctors told her there is nothing they can do and that for now the blood vessels stop bleeding on their own. My mother will turn 87 this year. I’m scared for her.

Gee, can things get any more bleak? I guess I shouldn’t ask that, as things always can get worse. Sigh.

I’m tired. I’m more than tired. I’m wiped. I also think the husband and I have matching ulcers. Fun times in Canada folks. I guess I shouldn’t complain, I still wake up every morning, I can still walk on my own, I can still do things for myself.

Count your blessings my friends. Count your blessings.

Because I’m so exhausted I haven’t been posting much. I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been doing a lot of things. I do what I have to and not much more. I just can’t. The grass outside is getting taller and thicker and I can’t cut it. I just can’t. So now I have to find someone who will, for free or next to nothing. The house inside looks a mess. The floors need vacuuming and scrubbing. The cobwebs from the winter need dusting and a million other things need to get done. Yet, it just sits there.

I care, yet, I don’t care.  I don’t have the energy to do something about it. I’m just trying to get through the days.

Wow, this post is a bit of a downer, eh? So I better finish it. Better days are coming……..

 

 

 

 

24 thoughts on “Monday Meeting ~~ May 2, 2016”

  1. Oh Jackie!! I love you hon and I am thinking good thoughts for you! Screw the cobwebs…you rest yourself.
    I wish that I could help you in some way, my friend. ❤

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  2. Oh my dear friend, I can’t believe the troubles you are having to go through. I hope some good news comes your way soon. You sure need it. In the meantime, screw the housework and rest.

    On the husbands safety in the bathroom, have you looked into grab bars that are easily installed by yourself? There is quite a large style of them and many can be picked up for a fee dollars used.

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    1. I have looked into the grab bars around here. Problem is I don’t think any can be installed without reinforcing the walls. The bathtub surround we have now is poorly installed and I can’t find any studs behind them to attach the bars to. Thanks for your kind thoughts Lois, I appreciate them.

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      1. Maybe I should have emailed you about this, but have you considered a tub chair and then a bar that fits over the edge of the tub for support when getting in and out?

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        1. He does have a tub chair and a bar for the edge of the tub. It’s just on ‘borrow’ from the Red Cross until July. After that I’m hoping AISH will pay for one of his own.

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          1. I just thought of another avenue for you. We have businesses here that go in and pull out all the saleable items from homes before they are torn down. I found a railing for stairs and my first grab bars for just a few dollars at one. I wish you were closer as I know exactly where I could take you to get free appliances.

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          2. I will have to take a look around here to see what I can find. First I will see what AISH will do for him as I’ve heard they will install and give many things for the disabled. That’s one reason we wanted on this program so much. Thank you for all your suggestions and I will look into it all.

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          3. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you. I can’t believe the hoops they’ve made you jump through and the time it’s taken to get your husband the help he needs. Our medical system might be bad but all I needed to do for grab bars and such was go to my doctor who wrote a script then the insurance paid and I had what I needed the next day. Now the wheelchair that took longer.

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          4. I know. Canada’s health care is better than most but it still has it’s ….trials. We had to get the husband declared disabled first and unable to work, second. That was the hard part. Now that he is considered disabled and unable to work things should go much faster and smoother to get him the things he needs.

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        1. I’m learning my way around mobility appliances. 🙂 He also has a walker with a seat on ‘borrow’ too. I’m just trying to find him ones that he can own. There is no way we can afford them on our own.

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          1. I don’t know what might be available to you but there are agencies and charities here that accept used appliances then give them freely to whoever needs them, that’s how I got my manual chair. Also we have freecyle and other online groups that allow one to ask for what they need. I do hope you are able to freely find the appliances that will give your husband the safety he should have in his home.

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  3. You remind me of another friend who is going through the meat grinder of life. It’s just brutal. My life is a picnic comparatively. I wish you went so far away or you had some friends that could come help. Everyone needs that sometime. I’m happy all the paperwork is panning out, hopefully. It’s a good thing. Taking off any pressure is better than none. You will have to be more assertive with those darn doctors and tell them to back off hubby a bit. It’s like they are experimenting with him. I’d want to give up too. Would you be ok if he was no longer there? Has that thought crossed your mind? (I’ll bet it has) Sometimes you just need to ask someone for help. There must be someone in your city who will feel better from having given you a hand. Just like you’d feel better if you could help someone. ASK! Then rest, rest, rest. You can’t help him if you don’t. That’s my motherly advice. I’m older than you so I can give motherly advice. Aren’t you glad you were able to repair your relationship with your mother before she leaves? That’s a gift. 87 is a full life. Your life will change, are you ready? I know you can handle this. And tell someone to turn off the damn meat grinder. You are tender enough.

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    1. Thank you, Marlene. I found a neighbor guy that cut our lawn today. Hopefully, I can keep finding someone to cut it as he is leaving in a couple of days. But it’s cut for now. It’s funny how his family is close by, but no one offers to help in the every day stuff. I guess I shouldn’t complain. It just gets so exhausting sometimes. But I will over come all the obstacles and press on. The husband is stronger than he thinks, he won’t give up so easily either. He just gets tired too. Big hugs my friend.

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  4. Oh Jackie. Life is like that sometimes, better days will come. I am happy to hear about the AISH. That will help you both. Please give yourself permission to just rest and go with the flow. Much love and hugs.

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  5. I haven’t been reading your blog long enough to get to know you, however, I did notice one thing…nowhere in your meeting did Jackie say what she is doing for Jackie.

    Not a downer, just real

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    1. Thank you, Bradley. I appreciate people who are real. Jackie….well, Jackie doesn’t do a whole lot for just Jackie. Not lately anyway. Maybe it’s time to change that around a bit. Thanks for giving me a nudge.

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  7. Sorry for all your trails. Will your husband get the benefits retoactive? That would be a good thing. I can sympathize with your fatigue you have a lot on your plate. If sitting and staring at the wall is what you want to do, then do it. You have to take care of yourself so you can take care of your husband. Hugs my friend.

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    1. Thank you, Kim. We won’t know if the benefits will be retroactive until the meeting we have is done. Then we’ll know and we’ll find out how much we get every month. Hugs to you also.

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