What do you do…..
when you feel time is running out
when all you want is to feel again
The touch of a loving hand, a loving heart
What do you do….
when loneliness is more than a word
yet, people make you uncomfortable
in your silent world
What do you do….
when you know your time is no longer limitless
and there is so much of this world
you need to know about
What do you do…..
When the everyday becomes your jail
where time is your enemy
and you long for more
What do you do….
as you realize you have always settled
for less than you wanted
because you thought that’s all you deserved
What do you do….
with the silence around you
that you crave yet hate
with a soul that cries for thunder
What do you do….
when words mean nothing to anyone
and you lay in the dark
watching as more precious time slips by
What do you do…..
with the pain inside
of all the little pricks of hurt
that jabbed you like small knives
What do you do…..
when you long for so much more
then you have gotten in your years
but you don’t know how to bring it to you
What do you do……
What do you do…….
That’s very sad, Jackie. I don’t know if it’s born of seeing a loved one fading away or if it’s because the realisation has set in that we are on limited time here. Whatever the cause, this is a great write, full of feeling.
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I guess it is sad, Jeanette. It’s something I’ve had in my mind for a couple of days now.
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I wish I could say I don’t understand what you have written. It feels like I wish I could give you a hug and make it all better but I know that doesn’t work. I guess that’s why I hope we have more lifetimes to do it different and experience it in a different way. This time around was harder and more empty than I had hoped for. I understand the wanting closeness and needing space. My heart hurts with yours. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope tomorrow brings a little something to keep us going on one more day. I felt every word of this poem. You wrote it perfectly.
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Thank you, Marlene. Some days I have a hard time holding it in. For the most part I’m good with things and then, well, then I’m not. I understand when you say ‘this time around was harder and more empty’. I feel like that too. All we can do is hope the next time around is better. Big hugs my understanding friend.
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My sister said to me the other day as I started to tip over from the simple act of turning around, that she would shoot herself if she had to deal with what I am. I told her it crosses my mind on occasion but then I find something to cheer me and keep plodding forward. If I’m not dead, I’m not done and ending it myself isn’t an option. Other than a weekly visit from my daughter and an occasional visit from my sister, I spend my entire week alone unless I put myself out there with a quilt group or an occasional lunch with an acquaintance. I have to make those times count. I talked to a woman yesterday on an outing with my daughter about how wonderful the blogging community is for helping me cope. I think that is what our jobs are now. Helping each other find the way to air. I’m always here. Giant squishy hugs back.
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No one knows how much they can handle until they have to handle it. We are strong women, Marlene. We don’t give up. I never think of ending things because all my life things have changed quickly. I wake up every day with the knowledge today might be that day it changes. ❤
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Good way to look at it. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That’s what I tell my sister.
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That’s what I tell the husband. I already learned that lesson many years ago.
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I know he’s tired of the lack of quality of life. It’s hard to watch and be powerless to help much. I get it.
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This is perfect. I feel like this often. ❤️
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Too many of us do, Mer. ❤
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Yes. Are you okay?
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Physically, yes. Emotionally, I seem to be on a roller coaster lately. I cry at everything.
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If you ever have an answer, please let me know Jackie – because I think we have a lot in common xxxx
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Sorry you know what this feels like, Dianne. But thank you, I will. xxxx
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❤
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❤
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Oh Jackie – this is a very powerful poem (and I’m sorry I’m in the catch up mode after my last work trip). The thing that stands out to me in this post is that you know things can change to the better fast. Tomorrow can always be better. You can feel better. I have had these periods as well, but right now I am in a lighter mood. I’ll write to you this coming week and send a HUGE hug ❤
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Thank you tiny. I was kind of down that day and for days beforehand. It’s what I needed to write. I’m a bit better now. Working on it. And yes, thing do tend to change rather quickly, so I always hold on to hope. ❤
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