Posted in Blogging, Humor, stories, Truth or Fiction, writing

Truth or Fiction (April 5, 2019)

I’m beginning to think people know me well.  As I think everyone voted right. My last story was…TRUTH. Yes, sad to say it really did happen. When I was younger I rescued a lot of animals. Dogs, cats, whatever. I’m an animal lover. If I see they are being abused I will try my best to get them out of that situation…even if it means breaking into someone’s yard and taking them. Eh, arrest me. I’d still do it.

Doesn’t happen quite so dramatically now as I’m too old for that and my fence climbing days are over…but who knows. If the situation warrants, I still might manage.

My story does have a happy ending. I managed to rescue the dog and finally got someone from the Humane Society to come to pick him up as, unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to take it to a Vet nor keep it as I had four dogs already. This very nice lady came over and I gave her an abridged version of how I got the dog. She called me several days afterward and told me their Vet had to do a major operation to remove the chain from the dog’s neck but he was doing fine and this same lady had decided to adopt him herself.

I felt so much better knowing he was going to a loving home and would have the good life he richly deserved.

Now onto my next story. Is it Truth or Fiction?

 

 

Pixabay

 

 

A Slice of Life

 

“Hmm, maybe we could make something out of these?” She asked.

Looking at her listeners as they cocked their heads to the side. She stated, “They would make a great border for the garden. I mean, no birds or animals would take them away.”

Reaching down she rubbed the ear of her closest listener. Whining softly he leaned against her leg. It was like the dogs were agreeing with her.

“I mean, look at them.” She reached over to the table and picked one of the items up, rapping her knuckles against it she spoke again. “It’s as hard as a rock, it would make a great garden border.”

Sighing she placed the object back on the table and sat down hard in the kitchen chair. Frowning she pulled the cookbook over that was laying open on the table and read the recipe again.

“I don’t understand what I did wrong. I followed the recipe. I didn’t substitute anything, which I’m usually doing.”

The three dogs lined up in front of her with expectant faces. “Sorry guys, nothing to eat here. The recipe didn’t exactly turn out like I wanted. I don’t think even you could eat this, Max. It would break your teeth.”

She picked up the item from the table and let it fall back down. It made such a loud thump that it even startled the dogs.

“See, Max? I bet I could throw them up as far as I could and let them land and they wouldn’t even break.”

She stood up and walking around the dogs she opened the back kitchen door and tossed the item out of it as far as she could into the yard. It landed several feet later with a dull thud. “I told you.” She stated to no one in particular. She watched as the dogs raced outside to find the object she threw. Max managed to lift it in his powerful jaws as the little dogs yapped and jumped excitedly beside him. Max proudly came back and laid it at her feet.

Looking down she had to laugh at the look Max gave her. “I told you, you wouldn’t be able to eat it.”

Such a sad sight, the item laying at her feet and three very disappointed dogs. She was sad too, as she had been looking forward to a warm, buttery slice of freshly made bread. All they got were four loafs of…bricks. Hard as rock bricks of bread.

Her dad had always made it look easy when he made bread. So she decided to try her hand at it. “I think I’ll let Dad keep the bread making skills, guys. I stick with my world-famous potato salad.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, is this story Truth or Fiction? Let me know! Have you ever tried a new recipe only to have it fail miserably? What was it?

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Humor, poetry, writing

There Once Was……..

 

 

 

 

There once was a woman who wrote……..

Stories, poems, notes…….

She wrote and wrote and had a grand time…….

 

Putting words down for others to read…..

Was a habit, no wait, a need……

Now she has stopped because life got in the way……

Too much to do and little to say…….

Then the New Year came……

And she vowed it would not stay the same…..

Making a promise to write again with renewed vigor……

Only to find herself doing nothing but spewer…….

Silly little rhymes instead of something of note…..

So, I hope you’ll excuse my false little promise……

That I made in a moment of blitheness…..

I thought life would be different……..

But Life thought me too flippant…..

All I could come up with after thinking and plotting…..

Was this silly little poem that will make you think I’m dotty…….

Because the rhyming is all wrong ……..

And it’s silliness is overlong……

But, that’s all I got on this cold winters day…..

Is a dumb little poem that won’t garner any applause……

Named so appropriately, ‘There Once Was’………

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Daily Prompt, His Days (about the husband), Humor, Mi Vida Loca

The Nightlife is Not the Life for Me

If you think this post is going to be about the nightlife where I party…well you will be disappointed.

It’s about sleep or the lack of in my case. Let me set the scene for you.

The husband and I are at the age where we like our sleep at night. Because of his severe back problems we set up his bed in the living room. Yes, not the prettiest living room decor but it is what it has to be.

He loves his TV. He watches it all the time. For him, it has to be on twenty-four hours a day. Even when he sleeps.

Now me, I must have a quiet semi-dark room to sleep. I have never been able to sleep with a TV or radio on. As I grow older it gets worse. I hate noise at night except the white noise of my fan. This is the only way I can sleep.

My bedroom is right off the living room. I keep my door closed and he turns down his TV to the lowest he can have it and still hear it. Now, have I told you he is also going deaf? Yes, unfortunately, he is. He wears two hearing aids which help a lot.

Now, for the most part, the TV is not the problem.  I’ve kind of gotten used to it. Although I must admit, the odd times the power goes off and the TV is quiet, I rejoice inside. Don’t tell the husband.

Ok, back to my story. The husband is on super strong pain medication and he takes sleeping pills at night. Two of them. Most times he sleeps for about an hour or two then he is up and down all night. And here lies my problem.

As he is awake off and on all night he snacks later at night. I don’t mind that, as he needs to gain weight and if he wants to eat at 1 am, who am I to tell him no? The only rule we have is no using the stove. (he sometimes forgets to turn it off. Danger!) So he raids the refrigerator and eats like a teenager. In fact, he lives sort of like a teenager. He sleeps most of the day and eats in the middle of the night, and waits for me to clean up after him.

So, what am I complaining about then, you ask? This was last night….

I’m all comfy in my bed with Sam (my dog) at my side and just drifting off to sleep when…

*crinkle, crinkle, CRINKLE!*

My eyes pop open as I wonder what the hell that noise is. I hear it again…

*crinkle, CRINKLE, CRIIINNNKLEEE*

After hearing it again I finally figure out it is the husband eating potato chips in bed and it’s the noise of the bag.

I shake my head and close my eyes and just start to go into a sweet slumber when I hear…..

 *bang! rrrrrrrrrrrrr, ding, ding, ding!*

The husband running the microwave for his snacks. No problem, I hear it most nights so I close my eyes again.

*clink, clink, clink* 

*crinkle, crinkle*

*clink, clink, CLINK!*

Eyes popping open, again.

*clink, CLINK, clink*

I finally figure out it’s the husband eating and is the sound of his fork hitting the plate, plus the potato chip bag. Rather damn loud too. Sighhhhh.

I swear under my breath and look at the clock, 2 am. I was asleep for all of half an hour. I’m tired so I close my eyes and snuggle down into my pillows.

Sleep, sweet sleep. Finally. My eyes pop open and I sit up in bed in a flash as I hear someone shouting…….

*BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP, WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH, BLEEP, BLEEP!!!*

I almost leaped out of my skin. It was so loud it sounded right next to me. It wasn’t. It was the TV. The husband fell asleep and turned over on the TV remote and turned it up very high. He turned it down before I went into the living room like a raging harpy and threw the remote and the TV out the door. Lucky him.

My heart slowed down and I looked at the clock and frowned, 2:34 am. I was so tired!

I get up to go to the bathroom as my bladder has decided since I was awake now anyway, why not empty it. I grumble as I do my bladder’s bidding and think if I am woken up one more time, the husband won’t need sleeping pills as I will put him to sleep myself. The hard way.

I crawl back into bed and close my eyes once more. A deep sigh escapes as I drift off into dreamland. Finally. Hopefully.

As I write this, the husband is sound asleep and I think it’s time to do some vacuuming.

 

 

 

(This post was done for WordPress’s Daily Prompt Later and yes, it’s all true.)