Posted in Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, writing

Tumbling Thoughts ~~~ A Poem

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Tumbling Thoughts

My mind tumbles here and there,
never settling on one thing
too many ideas, thoughts,
some vague, some terrifying,
many ‘what ifs’ or ‘what-nots’
how do I decide what to do?
If the mind won’t settle on one thing

I want to write, yet cannot
to read, to draw, to paint, to to to…..
not enough hours in the day
I have the ‘have to’ fighting with the ‘want to’
so neither side wins
As the mind won’t settle on one thing

The weariness goes deep into my bones
the frustration of it all
the more I wrestle with ideas
the more elusive they become
playing hide and seek within my soul
come out, come out, do not hide from me
but the mind won’t settle on one thing

I get moody, angry, even bitter
I resent the things I must do
as they take precious time away,
time I could be using for all the ideas
sliding across the slippery slopes within
I can’t get the mind to settle on one thing

I feel as time is going by too fast
that I am racing in something I cannot win
My mortality is fading as I grasp at shadows
Not yet, not yet, not yet, they whisper
maybe not ever I sigh back
as my mind won’t settle on one thing

Posted in poetry, postaday, writing

Party Girl ~~~ A Poem

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Party Girl

Party girl
laying there on the floor
for someone else to find
to throw out the door

Party girl
her body weakened
from years of cheap liquor and smoke
was her life destined?

Party girl
eyes big with fear
thoughts of living forever
gone with her tears

Party girl
youthful looks gone
alone in your room
were you just lifes pawn?

Party girl
you could have been so much more
but the alcohol
held too much allure

Party girl
thinks she is unloved, unwanted
while her father cries
and his memories are haunted

Party girl
all her dreams are in shreds
laying in her hospital bed
being alive is what she dreads

Party girl
wakes up within her nightmare
swears things will be different
if she doesn’t end up in a wheelchair

Party girl
home again and alone
the bottle calls out her name
all good intentions are flown

Posted in Flash Back Friday, poetry, postaday, writing

Flash Back Friday

Happy Friday or Saturday! (Depending where you are in the time zones)

Today, for Flash Back Friday I thought I would share with you one of my attempts at poetry. For some reason this post is third in the most viewed posts on this blog. Why? I have no idea!

I can count on it being viewed at least a few times every single day.

Screenshot 2014-12-12 11

 

 

Rain Flowers

Spring brings soft rain
winter ends its pain
flowers in glorious color
stand tall and reign

New green grass grows
rain never slows
it’s refreshing drink is savored
only a matter of time I know

Soon color to the land will come
flowers, shrubs, gardens, so awesome
Windows opened wide, no longer
will I be sunk in winter’s boredom

I rejoice in rain clouds in the skies
as birds compete on current highs
Leaves show green on the trees
as if they’ve been brushed with dyes

So let it rain, let it pour all day
I will no longer be winters prey
Gray and gloomy it might be
soon rain flowers will gently sway

You can view the original post here.

Posted in Blog challenge, NaBloPoMo, Nano Poblano, poetry, postaday

Frost ~~~ A Poem

 

frostygrass

Frost

Frost sparkles on the grass
Silvery, glittery beautiful mass
Mother Nature’s shiny jewels
Who would think it’s just water molecules?

Frost, a beauty to behold
Why oh why are you so cold?
I watch as ghostly grass sway in the wind
Shards of ice swirl like dancers, so disciplined.

Frost slowly disappears
As a weak sun shine and perseveres
Misty ghosts of natures making fade away
Glittery dresses gone till another day.

frostygrass2

Posted in Blogging, NaBloPoMo, Nano Poblano, poetry, postaday

Abandoned ~~~ A Poem

 

 

(c) Andre Govia
(c) Andre Govia

 

Abandoned

Toys left on a window ledge
bright colors dim with age
waiting for little hands
to grab and play again

The sky cries in sympathy
it’s tears streaking dusty panes
painted smiles shine on through time
Wood, plastic, tin, they wait in vain

Abandoned, who knows how long ago
but memories were made in distant past
childish laughter filled the air
Happiness flowed within those toys

So, they wait, these abandoned toys
for all those little girls and boys
to once more hold them in their hands
and giggle with abandoned joy

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, writing

Special Memories ~~~ A Poem

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Special Memories

Seeing pictures of your oldest daughter
Newly married, you would have been proud
Happy smiles, love abound, tender moments
Camera captures it all so well…….

Scrolling through her pictures on social media
I find pictures of you and my breath stops
Just for a second I hear your soft laughter
See the twinkle in your blue eyes……

I remember how your voice sounded
Your lips turned slightly up
As you told me you loved me
Your kiss telling me even more…….

We had so many good years together
Before I made that mistake
The one that took me away from you
The one regret in my life…….

Even then, your blue eyes were losing their sight
Your body slowly losing its battle
Diabetes, such an evil disease, too little known
How I wish I would have been braver and stayed………

We remained best friends, even through the hurt
I was so glad for your great heart, your forgiveness
Even when I can’t do the same for myself
Your mind ever bright, even as your light dimmed……

One day I tried emailing you, I hadn’t heard from you in weeks
Before I could, that fateful note arriving in my inbox
From your beloved oldest daughter,
Confirming my worst fears, you were no longer among us……..

I sat and stared at the words, tears flowing, heart breaking
Damning myself for not being there with you in the end
Gone too soon, much too soon, my best friend
How I mourn you still……

Seeing your picture once again brought forth the pain
But even brighter, it showed me the love we had
Even mistakes could not erase
Feeling your love even now, wrapping itself around my heart…..

Years have passed, your presence lingers
Love still bright as if it was yesterday
Sometimes I hear your soft voice
Saying, “I love you”
And know we will meet again one day
Till then I have our special memories………

Posted in Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, writing

My Steps Slow ~~~ A Poem

fall leaves

My Steps Slow

My steps slow, but my mind is young yet
it thinks of many things to say, to do
my mind races as it always has done
it’s my body that can’t keep up now

My steps slow, though I am young at heart
I find laughter and joy in the simplest things
From the blue in the sky, to the wind whistling by
A simple ‘hello’, a smile cast my way

My steps slow, my imagination grows
Dreams still hold fascination, hope, belief
The colors vivid, bold, beautiful
Nothing faded or grey in this world

My steps slow, I am no longer in a rush
I’ve done what I had to, now it’s time to do what I want to
I read, I paint, I write, I enjoy my time
As it grows shorter, I learn to enjoy it more

My steps slow, time rushes by
More aches, more pains, but I don’t mind
As I am still alive, still breathing, still moving
My mind forever young, my heart not far behind

My steps slow, they may falter some,
They may even need help now and then
As long as I am making those steps
I will love this life and all those steps that I’ve made

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, Stories of my life

Aging ~~~ A Poem

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Aging

 

I sit, looking at my reflection in the mirror
One year older, another year added
Age is just a number they tell me
Nothing to be concerned about
It’s how you feel inside that matters
Then some days I must be 105

I see the silver in my hair
New lines in my face
Wondering how did I manage to get this far
What happened to all my plans? Dreams?
Now I seem stuck, here in the land of numbers
Neither can I go back nor forward, yet.

Life has not been easy, still I have been blessed
I am alive, able to see dreams become reality
No matter the number in my age
My dreams never fade, not really
Some just become more important than others
They shift, like the sands in my internal hourglass

I may be older, we all age if we are lucky
It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but to be proud
I have reached an age where I may move slower
I still question things, still look in wonder
That never ages and never will
Life is to be savored at any age, not taken for granted

So here I sit, a year older, still dreaming my dreams
I look at the wonders of the world, the tragedies.
Still glad to be alive, even if things are tough
As I have the ability to change things still
To live for another day, week, month, year
Gives me that much more time to make my dreams real.

My journey continues, till when? I do not know
I’m just glad that it does. For I have many dreams to fulfill
More adventures to have, people to meet
Never be afraid of aging, that is what I have learned
It’s a lesson I take to heart, one I never forget
As I move a bit slower, but ever onward in life well met.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, Stories of my life, writing

I’ve Learned……

lonely

 

I’ve Learned…..

 

I’ve learned, never take your health for granted

it can be gone in a flash

then it’s aches, pains, frustration

as you can’t do what was once so easily done

 

I’ve learned, as I grow older I expect more from me

sometimes though it can’t be delivered

my mind says I’m 20, fit and strong

the body laughs with glee, then throws another pain at me

 

I’ve learned, friends don’t have to be ‘seen’

they live in this virtual machine

I have found some really good people

who reach out to me in my time of need

 

I’ve learned, love is precious, rare and good

it props me up, feeds my needs, makes me stronger

maybe it’s just an emotion, but it feels so much more

as I feel it fuel my desires, wants and hopes

 

I’ve learned, words are powerful, magical, sentient things

they swirl around me, feed my soul, nourish my mind

when they come from friends, afar or near

they make me glad to be alive

 

I’ve learned, that I’m stronger than I knew

life has a way of testing your strength, your reserves

it throws things at you that you never thought you could handle

toughens you up, or breaks you down, but never leaves you the same

 

I’ve learned, 3am is a lonely time in this world,

it’s quiet, still, not yet light, not yet dark time

that in between time when all things are possible or impossible

the doubts come rushing in to keep you company

 

I’ve learned, that an animal’s love in unconditional

they will stick with you through tears, meltdowns,

a pet will kiss your tears away, make you smile

time matters little to them, they just want you happy

 

I’ve learned, stubbornness is not a bad thing to have

this trait can help you over some of the roughest parts of life

I have had to rely on it many times lately

but it has pulled me through and I’m stronger for it

 

I’ve learned many things the past few months

and I have had to teach myself some others

In the end, I’ve found one precious thing

I’ve learned to love me again………….

 

 

Posted in Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, Stories of my life, writing

Light Flashes ~~~ A Poem

 

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Light Flashes

 

Light flashes in the dark, tiny sprites of hope

My dark thoughts pause, gloom is getting brighter

Fading beneath the small glimmers of sunshine

Reaching hands of friendship taking hold of me

Light flashes in the dark, lightening bugs of dreams

Wisps of smoky dullness being blown away with warmth

Off in the distance I see the darkness slide against the sides

Heart is easier, mind clearer, sleep is a friend of mine

Light flashes in the dark, air bright again after the rain

Fear no longer lives here, terror has lost it’s reign

A few kind words were needed, given, taken and returned

Virtual is still reality, in this world of mine

Light flashes in the dark, sparks flying bigger each day

Pain lessens, memories made of caring friends, smiles from the heart

Shadows grow smaller, not completely gone,

Light flashes in the dark, stepping stones to the sun

Posted in Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday, Stories of my life, writing

Silence ~~~ A Poem

wavescrashing

Silence

 

The silence is so loud now, hurting my heart

Echoes of words past, drop like jagged rocks into my memory

Words spoken that had no substance, no real truth

A smooth flow of silver, wrapped around my soul

 

Silence mocks me, cutting, making me bleed sorrow

How could words softly spoken, scream my shame of belief

Wanting, needing, to end the jumble of letters falling

My ears now closed, no more to hear the crash of pretending

 

Eyes wide, filled with the hurt of the silent emptiness

Age should have been a barrier, a roadblock, a dead end

Instead, words moved the barriers, made them inconsequential

Slowly, rebuilding, rewording, battered but not broken

 

Silence, used, can be so powerful, so hurtful, so final

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, poetry, postaday

Worries ~~~ A Poem

 

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Worries

Another sleepless night passes, body weary, sore

Worries scuttle through my mind, like rats seeking shadows

Gnawing at my peace, they scurry and never quite settle

Wondering if sleep will forever elude me

False friendships I find, bitter disappointment,

Worries have no place in their golden lives

They settle into mine, solid, unmoving it seems

Spirit tired, bruised, seeking the light

Words form, simple, telling, painful to say

Honest wishes, fading like mist into a sea of need

How to reach out, take hold, breath again

Alone, like the ticking of the clock at 3 am

Worries throbbing with the rhythm of my heart beat

Fast, erratic, hurtful as the backs turned to me

Silence thunders in my ears, close my eyes to the pain

I go on, I survive to lay sleepless another night