Blogging · Humor · nonfiction · postaday · Uncategorized

Strange, Unique Christmas Gifts

Hello people! Hope your day is a great one!

Today I thought I would go shopping and take you with me! Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Well, it is! Until you find out we won’t be spending any money. Ha!

I went virtual shopping my friends. I’ve been seeing Christmas gift lists popping up all over the blog world. So I thought I would go on the hunt for strange and unique gifts you could give. There are still 10 days till Christmas, so you might have time to buy some of these truly unique gifts for someone you love! Or, someone you don’t care for all that much. LOL You decide!

(Admit it, we all have that ONE relative that annoys us.)

Let’s see what I found, shall we?

How about some candy canes? Now Jackie, you’re thinking, what’s so unique or strange about candy canes?? Ah, my friends! These aren’t just any old candy canes! These are bacon flavored!!

 

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Source

 

For just $5.99 USD, you can have some of these tasty tidbits to give out. The fun part is, don’t tell anyone they are bacon flavored! Let them find out on their own. 😉

 

Then we have Cat Butt Gum!

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At $1.49 USD, it’s a steal!

For the beer lovers on your list.

 

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For $2.59 USD, they can have their beer and sweets all in one!

 

This one is just for you Sheena of Notapunkrocker! 

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At $11.99 USD it’s a steal!

As for me, I went shopping at Neiman Marcus for Christmas. A girl can dream, right??

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100th Anniversary limited-edition Maserati Ghibli S Q4

It’s a bargain at only $95,000! I can see me in it, cruising around.

And, now for the coupe de grace! Whoever buys this for me gets to come along for the fun!

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A fragrance journey
Everything from your clothing to the decor in your home suits you perfectly. Isn’t it time you had a signature scent that does the same? Your quest to fragrance utopia begins with two first-class tickets to Paris, close to the Fontainebleau, where you’ll meet with sixth-generation Master Perfumer Olivier Creed to create the ultimate custom scent. While in The City of Light, you and a guest will dine with Creed, enjoy five-star accommodations, white-glove car service, private tours and other experiences befitting the royally amazing you. A few short months later, a fragrance nonpareil will arrive at your doorstep in 24 14-karat gold-gilded six-liter flacons and 12 14-karat gold-accented leather atomizers featuring your bespoke scent.

Price: $475,000

 

What’s the strangest gift you ever received for Christmas??

 

 

 

Blog challenge · NaBloPoMo · Nano Poblano · nonfiction · postaday · Uncategorized

The Lowly Safety Pin and Its Many Uses

Hello People!

I do hope your weekend is going great!

It’s almost the end of November and Nano Poblano/NaBloPoMo. So yeah, I’m almost out of writing ideas. I say almost, as I still have a few tricks up my sleeves. I have actually enjoyed doing a post a day this month. Made me use my gray matter a bit more than usual. That’s got to be a good thing, right?

Like today’s post. All about the lowly safety pin. We take it for granted! It can be used for lots of things, besides just holding a bra strap together.

Did you know?

The safety pin was invented by American mechanic Walter Hunt in 1849. It was first called a “dress pin”, made to help prevent hurt fingers and bent pins from using straight pins. Over the years, people have found other uses for the safety pin.

  • It can even be used to prevent pickpockets! Just simply pin your zippers in your purse with a safety pin to the fabric of the liner of your purse, they can’t unzip your purse easily this way, it can be done with your backpacks too!
  • Ladies do you suffer from static cling with your dresses or skirts? Just pin a small safety pin to the inside lining or slip. The metal in the pin conducts the electricity and diverts the static.
  • I’m sure we all know that if you have a broken zipper you can use a safety pin for replacement zipper tab.
  • How about using it as a fish hook? Yup, you sure can!
  • They also can be used as clothes pins for hanging up clothes on a clothes line.
  • Now I’ve used them in emergency sewing, you can hem your pants with them. I’ve done it once or twice.
  • How about for ‘plumbers crack’? You know what I’m talking about. Those low riding jeans or shorts that when you bend over shows the crack of your butt. Just use a safety pin to pin your shirt to your pants!
  • In the 80’s safety pins were used as a fashion statement by punk rock groups. They even used them as body piercings! Ouch!
  • wikipedia.com
    wikipedia.com
  • You can use them as a push pin on a cork board. I’ve done that.
  • They make a great device for keeping papers together if you run out of paper clips and can’t find the pesky stapler.
  • Can’t find enough hooks to put those Christmas decorations up with? Use a safety pin!
  • Crafters use them in jewelry making.
prettyfulz.blogspot.com
prettyfulz.blogspot.com

How about in fashion?

 

www.telegraph.co.uk
http://www.telegraph.co.uk

 

Anyone else with any ideas for the use of safety pins? Let me know in the comments! 

 

Blog challenge · Humor · NaBloPoMo · Nano Poblano · nonfiction · postaday · Uncategorized

Better Late Than Never

I am running so behind today. Things have come up that I have had no control over and it’s driving me insane!

So, instead of the post I was going to do, I am going to settle for this. Forgive me people. I had limited time to do this in, but I wanted/needed a post for today.

So here are some fun stuff with cats and dogs, in comic form. I told you I had limited time!

 

difference-between-cats-and-dogs

 

 

funny-Grumpy-Cat-conversation-with-cute-cat

 

Funny-dog-and-cat-cartoon

 

Dog-Cat-Cartoon

 

Funny Dog Pictures With Captions (15)

 

Hopefully tomorrow I can resume my normal writing life. See you then!

 

 

Blogging · Humor · NaBloPoMo · Nano Poblano · postaday · Uncategorized

Weird and Wacky Inventions

Hello people!

The other day I was doing some research (wasting time) on the internet and came across some strange stuff. I thought it would make a fun post to do, so here it is! It never fails to amaze me what people will come up with. The imagination is a wondrous and sometimes strange thing. Let me show you what I mean.

 

How about some eating utensils that fit on your ink pen? Now you’ll never be without something to eat with! They fit on regular stick pens (like Bic).

Amazon.com
Amazon.com

 

Now this is something I might need. A pair of slippers with an LED light in each of them for night-time. I won’t need to find my flashlight now!

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For those exercise enthusiasts! A bike that’s  more than a bike. You are the pedals.

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Now we have something for dog lovers everywhere! How about a Dogbella?? I dog umbrella. I don’t think Sam would appreciate it as much as I do, he would probably tear it up, but hey if you have a well-behaved pooch, give it a try!

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Here is something for those of you who work in the office and keep having their lunches stolen. A plastic bag that makes it look like you have mold on your food!

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And lastly, I had to laugh when I came across these. We have all seen women that wear those mile high heels but can’t walk in them! They wobble and fall over and you laugh at them because, well it looks ridiculous. These are for them! High heels with training wheels!

 

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So what would YOU invent if you could?

 

Blogging · NaBloPoMo · Nano Poblano · nonfiction · postaday · Uncategorized

The Nano Poblano Oddly Specific Gratitude Blog Hop!

nanopoblano

I have been tagged in another Nano Poblano blog hop by my friend NotAPunkRocker, she was tagged by her blogging friend and fellow pepper, Nerd in the Brain. NAPR goes by many names, Sheena, Punky, etc., but she is always thoughtful and  kind and I’m so glad I ‘met’ her in the blogging community. She has a delightful streak of whimsy in her that I love. Go check her out if you haven’t yet.  Thank you! I needed a new idea for a post and voila! My friend provides. 🙂 (pssst, kiddo, I’m still on the hunt for the perfect Canadian husband for you! Don’t give up hope!)

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It’s hard being green sometimes, but I’ll try my best.

Here’s what to do:

1. Add to the list with your own oddly specific bits of gratitude. Add as few or as many things as you’d like. Include a picture or two if you’d likebut you certainly don’t have to.  Put your name at the top of the list to see where yours started and the next blogger’s begins.

2. Tag the post with the usual pepper tags and oddly specific gratitude.

3. Tag another pepper to add to the list by linking to their About page, but there’s a catch! When you tag the next blogger, be sure to include a bit about why you’re grateful to be in the same blogging world with them. 🙂 (Try not to tag anyone who has already been taggedthat way more people get to join in the fun.)

The List of Oddly Specific Gratitude

Nerd in the Brain:

1. the smell of wild onions when I mow the lawn

2. programmable coffee makers (having the coffee already prepared in the mornings is magical)

3. the way my crazy dog barks likes a vicious beast at the horses across the road, but then cowers behind me like a needy wimp whenever a horse actually comes close

4. hearing my husband talk on the phone to the rest of his team at workit reminds me that he’s not just my silly, sweet, awesome husbandhe’s also my competent, responsible, highly skilled husband

5. opening a blank lesson plan book and imagining the possibilities to come

6. sausage balls

7. watching Grace’s enthusiasm for all things musical

8. the way I can hear a smile on Olivia’s face whenever we say hello or goodbye on the phone

9. knitting with really soft, squishy yarn

Not a Punk Rocker

10.  Getting a random text when Matthew is in cell-signal range.  (“Hi”)

11. Awesome stuff in the mail, including Legos and letters from friends, making me smile when I need it the most at the end of a long day.

12.  Cherry chapstick.

13.  Somebody found my blog by searching for “deadpool talks about political social issues” yesterday.

14. Skype and chat for keeping me in touch with friends in “real-time” when one or the other of us needs it the most.

15. Finding new blogs to read and follow through this challenge!

JackieP (tobreatheistowrite)

16. Having friends like I do here in the blogging world. You all make my days brighter.

17. My dog Sam. He loves me unconditionally, wish more people could love like that. Plus, he makes me laugh daily.

18. Coffee. Without it the world would be a much sadder and thirsty place. And I would be a much harder person to deal with.

19. All the bright and cheerful colors around. Something about bright colors makes me happy. The gold of the sun, the cerulean blue of the sky, the wonder of a rainbow, they never cease to make me glad I’m alive.

20. Books……..you all know what I mean.

As for me, I’m going to tag…….Fishy, over at FishofGold. I’ve been following Fishy for probably over a year now and I never get tired of reading her posts. She’s honest, upfront and sometimes in your face, but she is brave, strong and a wonderful person. She is also getting to be a great fiction writer. She has strong opinions, but then so do I. I also think she has a heart of gold and a vulnerability about her that wants me to give her a hug and tell her she’s stronger than she thinks. If you aren’t following her, you should. I’m glad she and I are becoming friends.

The List of Oddly Specific Bloggers 😉

Nerd in the Brain

Not a Punk Rocker

ToBreatheistoWrite

Blogging · Fiction · Humor · postaday · Uncategorized · writing

It’s a Haunting Good Time

I don’t usually reblog my own posts. In honor of Halloween, I am reblogging one I wrote when I first started blogging. Not many read it, as I didn’t have many followers then. So I hope you enjoy my little haunting story. I had fun writing it.

Life, Love & Strength

It was just yesterday when I told someone,  when I die I wanted to come back and haunt some people. Hell, I never imagined it would actually happen! I wasn’t planning on dying the very next day. But, here I am. Or what’s left of me. I’m kind of floating around right now. I need to get the hang of this being dead thing. Really fast.

How do I know I’m dead? Well, for one thing I’m  floating above my body. I see me down there. Pretty much dead as I can tell. Not a pretty sight either. Geesh, the least I could have done was die with my clothes on!  There I am, lying in the damn bathtub, naked as the day I was born. Poetic huh? Come into this world naked, go out naked. Anyway, from what I remember I was taking a shower, getting ready for work. I…

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Blogging · Mi Vida Loca · nonfiction · postaday · Stories of my life · Uncategorized

The Obscene Phone Caller

*** I want to warn people,  there might be triggers in this post for rape and/or sexual assault.****

This post came about after I read Aussa’s post the other day on creepy feelings of being watched. Her post brought this memory back on when I was freshly married and young. It’s a true story and something I don’t usually think about.  I’m not going to tell you to enjoy, because it’s not enjoyable. But please read! Has anything like this happened to you? If so how did you handle it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

source unknown
source unknown

 

 

I had just seen L* off to work. He was going to be gone a week and I was looking forward to some time to myself. I was newly married, less than six months into what would be a 13 year nightmare. But at this time I was young, naïve and in love. Even then the marriage was showing small rips in the contentment fabric.

My husband worked in the Texas oil field. A booming (at the time) era full of opportunities. We moved from North Texas to South Texas looking for our golden dream. We found a small apartment in a new rambling complex in Victoria, Texas. We had all our belongings in a small UHaul, plus our ‘babies’, two German Shepherds. A boy named Max and his daughter Angel.

L*  was a born salesman. When we rented the apartment, it had a policy of small pets only. Now Max was 160 lbs of pure muscle and attitude, Angel was smaller, only tipping the scales at 100 lbs. She was devoted to her daddy. They were our pride and joy, so L* talked the manager into letting us keep the dogs.

The first couple of months were pleasant, I took the dogs running in a large field behind the apartment a couple times a day. They were quiet in the apartment and we had no complaints. Things were going rather well with L* working one week and then being off the next week. I was looking for work, but was ok with staying home too. L* was making good money working on the off shore rigs. We were young and the world was open to us, or so I thought at the time.

About 2 months into our living there the phone calls started. I remember the first one, it’s still so clear in my mind, even after all these years. L* had just left for another week off shore. I was cleaning the kitchen, the dogs laying in the living room. This was a time before cell phones and caller ID. The phone rang and I didn’t think anything of it. I picked it up and said ‘hello?’.  A very pleasant male voice answered, ‘Hi! I’m looking for Mrs. Jones.’

‘I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number.’

‘Can I ask you another question?’ Said the same pleasant voice.

‘Sure!’

‘Do you shave your pussy?’ He asked without changing his tone one bit. Like he was asking about the weather!

I was shocked into silence. I had never had an obscene phone call before. Once my heart started beating again, I hung up the phone amid his laughter.

I was a bit shaken, but not scared…….. Yet. That was the beginning of a couple of months of hell for me.

When L* called me that night, I told him about the phone call. He told me it was nothing, probably someone just dialing random numbers till a woman answered. So I pushed it out of my mind and went about my life.

All was quiet for about 2 weeks. L* had come home for his week off, then the first day he went back to work it started. L* wasn’t gone ten minutes when the phone rang. I answered.

‘Hello?’

‘I love the blue blouse you have on today. (I did indeed have a blue blouse on) How about I come over now that your old man is gone and take it off you?’

Then, before I could hang up, he started describing all the things he would do to me. Disgusting! I was shaken, but again, not really scared, as I figured it would just be that one phone call again and then nothing. I did recognize the voice as the same one as before, but was more shaken that he knew what I was wearing and that L had gone to work.

I made sure the door was locked. But living with 2 large dogs that were very protective, I wasn’t afraid. So when the phone rang again about half an hour later, I answered.

The same smiling voice was on the other end.

‘I want to f*** you till you beg for mercy.’ He started out with this time. I hung up. That’s when the phone would start ringing and not quit! After about the 30th ring I finally turned the ringer off. Silence never sounded so good! It had shaken me, I checked to make sure all the blinds were closed and curtains pulled close. I went to bed that night, but didn’t sleep well.

The next morning I turned the ringer back on and jumped as it immediately rang! Cautiously, I answered and was relieved when L’s voice came through instead of that pleasant chilling voice of last night. But my relief only lasted moments as L chewed my ass out for not answering the phone earlier. It was my first taste of his controlling ways. He would call me every night and every morning that he was at work and grill me about my day. But that’s a story for another time.

I told L about the phone calls, but he said I was over re-acting and to leave the ringer on in case he called again. He didn’t want NOT to be able to contact me. So I left the ringer on. Big mistake.

After L hung up I took the dogs for their morning run. It was a sunny day and I felt safe with my two dogs, but I was aware of my surroundings like I had never been before. I didn’t notice anything unusual, so I played with the dogs for a while, then went back to the apartment. I wasn’t in the door 2 minutes before the phone rang. I answered.

What came through the phone was a long litany of things the caller wanted to do to me. I hung up, my breathing ragged with fear. The dogs felt it and stood by my side. I went to sit down and the phone rang again. I let it ring, and ring, and ring. It wouldn’t stop! Then I thought, what if it was L again? So I answered.

The same pleasant-sounding voice was there, telling me how he was going to f*** me and then how he was  going to enjoy doing all the nasty things he started to describe in detail to me. I think what was so chilling, the timbre of his voice never changed throughout the whole 2 months of him describing abusive sex acts and then toward the end, how he was gong to kill me after raping me. It was always that pleasant, cheerful voice.

He never called while L was home. But 10 minutes after L would leave for his week at work the phone would ring. I knew it had to be someone at the apartment complex. But who?

It got so bad I wouldn’t leave without one of the dogs with me.  I’d always leave one dog in the apartment so no one could break in and wait for me. The caller knew I had the dogs as he would tell me how he was going to poison  them to get to me.

L finally believed me when I lost a lot of weight, was constantly on edge. I had changed the number twice, but that only gave me a days respite before it would start again.

We moved, after we talked to the police and there was nothing they could do unless I actually got raped. Nice, eh? When the police came to the apartment to talk to me, I was sitting with both dogs in front of me and a.38 special on the table next to me. The cop looked at the gun, looked at me and asked me if I knew how to shoot it. I said yes I did. All he said afterwards was, when you shoot him, make sure he’s in the apartment and shoot to kill, that way it’s deemed self-defense.

The calls stopped when we moved, after I changed the number once again. It was something I would not wish any woman to go through. Creepy is a mild way to describe it.

 

 

 

Blogging · nonfiction · postaday · Uncategorized

Happy Birthday Little Dinosaur

Come join us in wishing Rara Happy Birthday. She still needs our help in any way we can give it. Send her best wishes and feel the love!

Stories that Must Not Die

We are patiently waiting for you to come out of your cave. While we wait we’ve decided to celebrate your birthday with some Stories about you that will live on forever.


One day, a dinosaur appeared in my fishbowl. She was wildly drawn and breathing fire, but I wasn’t afraid. She dropped an insightful comment and left. I poked my head into her domain and found a wondrous world full of creative and awesome things. I followed her immediately.

A few months after we met, she asked me to guest post on her blog. It was my first guest post. I was nervous as hell, even though, at that point, I didn’t realize what a blogging celebrity she was. I posted what, in all honestly, is one of my most half-assed posts since I had the flu at the time, but her audience was kind, just like Rara.

For the…

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poetry · postaday · Uncategorized · writing

In Pieces~~~ A Poem

shattered

In Pieces

Life, shattered, laying in pieces around me

Dreams that once were, no more

Faded wisps of what might have been

gently disappear with the breeze

Heart, broken, jagged pieces left bleeding

Tears mingle with the pain of broken wings of want

Sighs heard, quietly in the dark corners

like soft bells of desire, never to be heard again

Thoughts, scattered, pieces of a once treasured puzzle

Wishes float in the air, then pop, broken like fragile bubbles

Memories of something that almost was possible

now gone, as if it never was……..

Maybe it wasn’t meant to be

these pieces of me