Daily Prompt: Toot Your Own Horn

January 16, 2013 JackieP23 Comments

Today’s daily prompt was this:

Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favorite thing about yourself.

I’ve always had trouble tooting my own horn, patting myself on the back, giving myself kudos for something. I’m the second hardest person on me, my mother is the first. haha! Truth! So I thought today’s daily prompt would be a challenge. I also thought maybe, just maybe it was time to toot my own horn for a change.

I’m an optimist. Yes, I’m that dreaded person who always sees the good in a situation. Maybe not right away. Because there is some pretty bad crap going around. Eventually though I see the good. If I see a glass half full of water, I don’t see it as half empty. I don’t even see it as half full. I see it as you were thirsty and drank some water so let me get you some more!

I have to admit I haven’t always been this way. There was a time in my life that I only saw the bad. Always. Period.

I went into that black hole called depression. I was so far down in there that I didn’t think I would ever get out. Hell, I didn’t want to get out. I liked it down there. It was a love/hate relationship I had with depression for a few years.

It got so bad I went weeks without getting dressed. Weeks without taking a shower or washing my hair. All I did was smoke and think of all the terrible things that happened to me. That were sure to happen to me in the future. I wouldn’t talk to anyone. I was sure everyone was out to get me. I couldn’t even open the front door and walk to the mailbox on the curb. I was sure if I did something terrible would happen to me. I was so sure of this!

Then one day I found myself sitting in a dark room with a gun in my hand. Yeah, it got to that point. I didn’t want to be around any longer. My husband at the time was anything but a good husband. I had lost 4 babies. My body would not carry them past 8 weeks. I was tired, lonely, and so far into that black hole I saw no way out. Except the permanent way. I was more then ready. I wanted it. No note, nothing left behind but a shadow no one thought about.

Do you believe in miracles? No? Neither did I. Till that day. I was so ready to die. To just blank out all the pain. I sat there with that gun and was ready to leave a world that hated me. I closed my eyes. Getting ready. Then I heard a noise in the room with me.

I opened my eyes and stared into 4 pairs of big brown trusting and loving eyes. They circled the chair I was in. Just sitting there staring at me in a small semi-circle in front of me. Four big and small dogs that just sat there and looked at me. They didn’t bark, they didn’t whine. They just looked at me. It was like they asked me who would take care of them if I do this thing. Who would love them like I did. I rescued every single one of those dogs from a terrible situation. Now they rescued me.

I stared at those trusting and loving animals and put that gun away. I cried and hugged them all. They licked the tears from my face and I vowed that day that I would get myself out of that black hole and never ever go back there again. No one was worth that kind of darkness. No one was worth that kind of pain.

I kept that promise. I took care of those dogs up till their dying day. They took care of me also. It wasn’t always easy to crawl my way out of that black hole. But I did it. Every day I would make the decision to be positive. To have a positive attitude. Sometimes I slipped. But I never dropped into that hold again.

Now, I always have a positive attitude. No matter what happens in my life. My motto is, everything happens for a reason, and all things are temporary, especially the bad stuff. It has helped me through some rough times. Since that day in that dark room I never give up on myself. I always see the positive. Now I’m getting positive back. So really, what more could I ask of myself?

So I’m tooting my own horn for being positive even when things are at their darkest.

Humor · nonfiction · stories · Uncategorized · writing

The Dog in the Box

September 9, 2012 JackieP4 Comments

My name is Sam and I’m addicted to boxes. I like big boxes, small boxes, tall boxes, short boxes, and especially boxes I can sleep in. Just ask my human, Jackie, the writer of this blog. She’ll tell you how much I love boxes. My human asked me to take over this blog for today, because she’s real busy. Looks like she’s doing laundry right now, how boring right? Maybe she’ll wash my pillow, it sure needs it. I’ll remind her later, right now I have this blog to write.

Now according to my human I’m suppose to write a story. She’s into this story a day thing this month and doesn’t want to miss a day. Also she said she doesn’t want to let her readers down. So, since she’s pretty busy she figured I could take over today and she won’t have to miss any time. Personally, I think she knows I’m full of stories and I would make a great blogger! Anyway, I love boxes right? Yeah, you probably got that huh? Well I live with two cats. Man, are they a pain in the tail! They are a brother/sister team and boy do I have trouble with those two! They are always buttin’ in my business. Talk about nosy! Just because they are bigger then me they think they can just take over what ever I’m doing. They like boxes too, but not as much as me!

Now, I’m a pretty good looking dog. Everyone says so! Okay, they tell me I”m cute, when I would rather be handsome, but hey, humans are strange ya know? Sorry, sometimes my mind wonders. Back to the story.

The two devil cats — Pouncer and Notwen, the two devil cats! Innocent looking right?

My human got something in the mail a few months ago. It came in this huge sturdy box! Wow, was I excited! I couldn’t wait for her to get that stuff outta the box so I could take over! I mean this was the box of my dreams! It was really tall and wide, I could turn around several times in that box! I was in love! So I’m jumping up and down and barking, trying to hurry her along so I could take over that beautiful box. Finally! She was done taking the things out of it. She laid it down so I could get inside and it was great! I mean that box was huge! I checked that box out inside and out. I checked all the corners, then jumped on top and made sure it was as sturdy as it looked. Yup, it sure was!

I was just getting ready to move some of my favorite toys in, when I see those darn cats coming around the corner. They were headed straight for my box! Oh no they don’t!! They ain’t gettin my box! So I scramble inside that box ready to defend it against those two devils. Now, those cats are bigger then me. They outweigh me by a good 10-15 pounds. And Pouncer, the female, oooowie! She is a mean one! They got these wicked sharp claws too! But, I’m not afraid of no stinkin’ cats! That box was mine and that was that!

I take a stance in my box ready to defend it when I see one cat missing. Where the heck did he go?? Just when I’m thinking that, Wham! Something hits the top of my box like a cannon! I thought for sure the ceiling of my box was gonna come down and crush me! But, nope, my wonderful box held up to the onslaught of Notwen jumping on it. Whew! I knew that was one great box! Now I had to get that sneaky cat off the top of my box!

So I run outta my box and start nosing Notwen off the top of it. Notwen is the bigger of the two, but he is such a softy that I know if I keep pushing at him he’ll leave. And darn if I wasn’t right! Notwen hates to fight, so off he goes back to his bedroom and a good nap. Yes! One down, one to go! I know I have to be a bit smarter with Pouncer, because she don’t put up with being pushed around. Especially by no dog! So I gotta out think her! Should be easy I figured, I mean she’s a CAT. The day I can’t outwit a cat is the day I hang up my dog license!

Well gosh darn fur balls! (Excuse my language) Pouncer’s all ready inside my box! She must have snuck in while I was chasing off her brother! And she’s hunkered down in there too! Now, I know there is no way I can push her out, because she just don’t push! She’ll swipe me with one of those giant paws with those razor-sharp nails and I’ll be hurtin! So I have to be smart about things and call in reinforcements. I know when I need help and am not too proud to ask for it! Time to get my human! She knows that box is mine, she’ll help me! So I go runnin to her and sit up in front of her, that always gets her attention! She looks at me and asks me what I want. I look towards MY box and bark! I’m telling her to get rid of that darn cat and let me have my box back!

Well she gets up and chases Pouncer out of my box! She scolds that old cat, telling her she knows she’s just being contrary because I have something she don’t! I quickly get in my wonderful box. Whew! That was tiring! I think I need to take a page out of Notwen’s book and take a nap. But there is no way I’m leaving my box! It’s perfect for nap taking. So I just laid down and went to sleep. Had some good dog dreams too!

Thanks everyone for reading my story! I got lots of them. My human will be back tomorrow, hope you all have a wonderful day! I might have to tell my human I want to write another story………..

nonfiction · Uncategorized · writing

A Morning of Memories

August 7, 2012 JackieP10 Comments

This morning started out like any other morning. Dragged myself out of bed, drank my first (of many) cup of coffee. Then headed for the shower. After dressing I did what I do every morning. Clean the cat box. Exciting I know, but someone has to do it.

I have two beautiful gray and white cats. Brother and sister, named Notwen and Pouncer. And they are big cats! Notwen the male probably weighs a good 30 pounds, Pouncer maybe a bit less. Every morning I have to clean their cat box, because well, being big cats they produce a lot of waste!

Most mornings I clean it without really thinking about it. I mean it’s cat poop. Do I really want to think about cat poop? This morning Notwen is sitting watching me, probably wanting me to hurry up so he can use the kitty bathroom. And my mind goes back through the years and all the fur babies I’ve had. Almost every single one of them rescued from bad situations. They were either in an abusive home, or they were running in the streets, unfed and unloved. Neither situation I can tolerate.

Memories came rushing back of my past pets. My babies. There was Bubba, who when she was a tiny pup I couldn’t tell if she was female or male, but the name Bubba seemed to fit, and so it stuck. She was a pure black Cocker Spaniel, and one of the most intelligent dogs I ever owned. Then there was Gray, a beautiful gray German Shepard I rescued off the streets in Ft. Worth, TX.

Gray had been beaten and starved. I took her to my favorite vet and he told me she was about 6 months old and must have been beaten before because he could see old wounds and old broken bones. My heart was hers from that first day till she passed 13 years later.

Can’t forget about the cats in my life either, especially Fred. Fred was a special cat that showed up one day and stayed. He was a male cat, a beautiful black and white short hair. Fred had an identity problem though. Well, Fred thought he was female. One day Fred showed up with a very pregnant female cat I named Wilma. You know Fred and Wilma, from the Flintstones??

Now, I really don’t think Fred was the father of Wilma’s kitties. Because Fred just never wanted a female in that way. Fred brought Wilma home because he wanted to raise her kittens. Yeah, he even tried nursing them, but that idea didn’t go far. They finally worked out a deal, Wilma nursed the kittens, and Fred took care of them otherwise. He wouldn’t even let her near them unless she was nursing! Wilma didn’t seem to mind, she lounged in the sun and enjoyed a life of leisure.

Some of my memories are bitter sweet. But, they all made me smile this morning. Made my day a little brighter. I never had children of my own, except for my fur babies. Those children gave me so much love, so much companionship, so much unconditional acceptance. My life was forever touched with their love.