Posted in Blogging, stories, Truth or Fiction, writing

Truth or Fiction

Hello everyone and welcome to another week of Truth or Fiction. The comments and guesses were split last week. Was the story true or fiction?

Truth! Yes, it really did happen. I was living in Texas at the time with the ex. We lived next to a field of cows and yes, one cow was having trouble giving birth so we helped it out as it was a life or death situation for the poor cow. The only difference in the story was my ex actually did the turning of the calf. We did use dish soap and one of our dogs alerted us to the cow. According to the rancher, the dish soap didn’t harm the cow or calf. I didn’t think it would (it was my idea) as most of it seemed to come out of the cow with the birth.

About the only redeeming quality of my ex was that he was good to animals. His marriage skills needed the work.

Thank you once again to those of you who joined me last week. Now, let’s see what this week’s story is about.

 

Pixabay

 

Lessons To Learn

 

“The way you flirt is shameful.”

I laughed, “That wasn’t flirting. That was just being friendly.”

“You always do that to get your way. Flirt. It’s second nature to you.”

“I wasn’t flirting!”

Turning my chair towards my co-worker, I frowned and wondered what got her panties in a twist this morning. Millie was usually so cheerful and upbeat but today she seemed to complain about everything. I saw her eyes fill up with tears and her lower lip tremble. Yes, definitely something was wrong with her.

“Millie? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

She turned away from me and her shoulders hunched over her desk. Walking over to her I put my hand on her shoulder and asked her again what was wrong.

“Everything!”, she cried. “My whole life is a mess and nobody cares.”

Usually, I run away from such dramatics. Stresses me out but this was Millie and since coming to work for this company she has always been a constant source of smiles and cheerfulness. Until today. Something had to be seriously wrong for her to turn into this mess of tears and drama.

“Come on, Mill, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m in love and I hate it!” And with that statement, she went into full-blown, snot forming, eye swelling, red nose crying.

“Well, usually being in love is a good thing. So, I take it he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings?”

“I don’t know!”, she wailed. “I’ve never talked to him.”

That statement set me back a second. Never talked to him? Who was this love of her life and why in hell has Miss Never Knew a Stranger never talked to him? The mystery deepens.

“Ok, hold on a second. You are in love with someone you never talked to? Am I correct?”

Snuffling into her kleenex she nodded her head.

“Um, Mill…is this a real person? Or is this a character in one of your favorite books?” I was just checking for accuracy because with Millie it could be either.

“Of course he’s real.” And with that statement, she went off into another round of tears.

“OK, ok. Just wanted to make sure I got my facts straight.” I patted her shoulder and the tears slowed down. “So tell me why you two have never talked and where you met this man.”

“We haven’t met. That’s the problem. I see him every morning in the coffee shop I stop at on the way to work. He’s cute and I love him.” She looked at me, almost like she was challenging me to say something smart-alecky. I didn’t.

I could see this man meant a lot to her even if they never exchanged a word.

“Why don’t you start a conversation? You always do here. You never seem to have nothing to say to anyone who comes in the office.”

“This is different. I don’t love the people who come into the office so I don’t worry if I look like a fool to them.”

“Ahhh, I see.” I did too. It’s always just a little harder to talk to someone if you’re always worried about how they view you.

“I want to be like you. I want to be able to flirt and not care what others think. I want to flirt with HIM but I don’t know how.”

With that statement, the tears started to flow once again. Then an idea came to me.

“Millie, what if I teach you how to flirt? You could flirt with him and win his love!” I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it but I needed to stop the tears again. Good thing it was a slow day at work or this could have gotten really embarrassing fast.

“Is something like that teachable?” Millie asked with doubt in her voice. Hell if I knew, but if it stopped her from crying I’d give it a shot. I thought to myself, well how hard could it be? A slow smile at him, a longish look. Sure that’s teachable, wasn’t it?

We would soon find out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok folks, is this story true or is it fiction? Let me know! Do you think flirting is something that can be taught? Or is it something someone is born with? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, stories, Truth or Fiction, writing

Truth or Fiction

Welcome, everyone! Last week’s story seemed to be a mind game as only one person guessed right. It was FICTION. Yeah, I wish it had been true. I’ve always wanted to stay in a big fancy haunted house but I haven’t. One person, Bill, did pick up that the main character grew up in a place that was haunted, just as I did. So good on you, Bill! Unfortunately, that was the only truth in the whole story and really, I didn’t put it there intentionally. Just seemed a good addition to the story.

Now let’s get going on the next edition of Truth or Fiction. Is it true or a figment of my imagination?

 

Pixabay

 

Giving a Helping Hand

 

Her dog Molly kept pacing the living room and whining. She shushed her once but the pacing just got more frantic. What on earth was wrong with the dog? Molly was usually such a good companion and would lay quietly at her feet but not today. She’d never get those columns of numbers added right with Molly distracting her.

“What is it, Molly? What’s wrong?”

Molly faced the front door and whined. Maybe she needed to go out? Sighing heavily, she pushed herself out of her chair and opened the front door. The sunshine blinded her for a minute and the heat of the afternoon surrounded her, making her instantly regret leaving the air conditioning behind as the door closed behind her.

She hoped Molly wouldn’t take too long to finish her personal business as she needed to get those numbers added and the account books finished for her favorite client. Accounting paid the bills and playing with numbers was always fun.

She smiled as she looked around for Molly. The countryside was brown and dry but the trees still showed a bit of green. This summer had been unduly hot and dry and the usual beauty of the surrounding fields and trees were dulled with brown grasses slowly dying of thirst. She moved to the country after her divorce. It was just her and Molly, her German Shepherd and constant companion. She enjoyed the quiet of the country after the heartbreak she endured in the city last year. Here, she was able to heal and even grow happy again. Just her and Molly.

Thinking of Molly…where was she? Looking around her ears finally picked up the sound of a cow lowing. She knew a ranch owned the fields next to her and they ran cows on them. She had to teach Molly not to be afraid of the cows when she first moved here. Now Molly usually ignored them. They weren’t fun to play with. As she scanned the field for Molly the mooing of the cow seemed more frantic. Almost painful.

Under a large tree, she spotted Molly, once again frantically pacing back and forth in front of a large mound. No, wait, it wasn’t just a mound it was a heifer. She was laying down and making those awful, pain filled mooing sounds. She called for Molly but the dog refused to leave the cow’s side. Something must be wrong, she thought. Molly was acting frantic and the sounds coming from the cow were almost sounding like screams.

Scrabbling over the wooden fence dividing her front yard from the field she ran to where Molly and cow were. What she saw made her suck in her breath and widen her eyes. The cow was laying on her side, her belly swollen huge with pregnancy. She could see the distress in the cows’ eyes as she once again let out that distressing moo/scream. Even to her untrained eye, she could see the heifer was trying to deliver her calf but something was wrong.

She needed to call someone. Who? She couldn’t just leave the poor suffering animal to die. Something was wrong with the birth and she needed help desperately. When the cow gave another loud moo and turned her head to look at her, she could see the pleading in its eyes. She needed to do something fast. The cow didn’t have time to wait for someone. She needed help now!

“Think girl, think! What should I do?”

Then she remembered an article she read a long time ago. When she was much younger she thought about becoming a vet and so she read anything she could on animal care and what should be done if a dog was having a breech birth. She was certain this is what was happening to the cow. The calf needed to be turned so it could come out the right way.

She thought, “Well, a birth is a birth, it can’t be that different from a dog could it?” 

Racing back to the house she wondered what she could use as a lubricant. She needed to stick her hand inside the cow and turn the calf. It wasn’t going to be easy but she had to try. Coming to stop inside the kitchen she frantically looked around. Butter? She didn’t have enough. Her eye fell on the brand new bottle of dishwashing liquid. That would make her hand slippery! She grabbed the bottle and a spare bath towel she had left over the kitchen chair earlier that day and sped back to the cow and Molly.

Molly hadn’t left the cow’s side. It was as if she knew what was going on and knew the cow needed her. Molly laid next to the cow and whined comfort to it.

“Good girl Molly. You keep comforting her while I see what I can do on this end.”

Taking a deep breath she quickly opened the bottle of dishwashing soap and spread a thick layer over her arms and hands. She tried to ignore the large strong hoofs and the sticky puddle of blood as she slowly shoved one hand into the cow. She could feel the calf and yes she had guessed right. It was a breech birth. The calf needed to be turned. It should come out head and front feet first and this one was turned just enough it wasn’t coming out that way.

She was going to need both hands to turn the calf. She wasn’t strong enough one-armed to do it. The cow seemed to know she was trying to help as the mooing stopped and the cow lay still, only once lifting her head to look at her. As if saying, “You can do this.”

Slipping her other arm inside she managed to find the front legs and grasp them. She didn’t need to move them far just a few inches to the side to line them up to the opening so hopefully, the mother had enough energy to push it out.

She felt the head and the front legs and gave a tug on the legs. At first, she didn’t think it was going to work, but then with one great effort, the mother cow pushed while she tugged and suddenly she had a newborn calf in her lap. She took the bath towel and wiped the gunk from the calf’s eyes, nostrils and mouth so it could breathe. Normally, the mother did this but this mother was too tired and so appreciated the help.

She didn’t know she was crying until Molly came over and first licked her tears then started to lick the calf. Those had to have been the most intense, emotional minutes of her life. She dragged the calf who was laying on the towel over to the mother’s head to show her that her baby was alive and well. The mom started licking it and making snuffling sounds.

“Come on Molly. We still need to call the rancher and let him know what happened so he can check up on mother and baby. Plus I need a shower.” 

Later that day the rancher stopped by to thank her for helping the cow and to let her know that both were healthy and fit.

“Well, Molly. A good deed was done today. Let’s just hope there will be no repeat!”

 

 

 

 

Ok, folks. Was this based on truth? Or was it a complete piece of fiction? What would you have done if you came across an animal in need like in the story?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

63 Things I’ve Learned in 63 Years

Hello everyone! Yes, I know it’s been a very long time since I posted anything. Since early March, actually. Why? Because life sometimes has a way of making me so tired. Things have straightened out a bit since then. I’m at a new ‘normal’ around here.

Quick catch up, then I’ll get to this new post. Most of you will remember the health problems of the husband in the past few years. First colon cancer, got that beat as he is now officially three years cancer free! Then he had a stroke in late October of last year. He’s still getting over that one. There have been a few stays in the hospital for pneumonia here and there but he seems to be stable now. Thank goodness. Time to breath!

Life can be hard but I keep plodding along. As for me, I’ve had a terrible bout of insomnia since May. So yeah, I get kind of tired.

I’m back now. I do hope to stick around too. I don’t know how often I will post, I’m going to try for once a week and go from there. As to what I will post? Who the hell knows. We’ll see what happens.

Now, the reason for this post. Today is my birthday! Yeah, ok, keep the cheering down. I’m sixty-three today. Shit, that seems like such a big number! I hope to see sixty-four. My body feels like it’s ninety-three while my mind feels twenty-three yet. I’m young at heart people with an old woman’s outlook. Ha!

Anyway, my friend Mer had her 44th birthday last month and she came up with a post with 44 things she learned in her 44 years. So, thanks Mer, I’m stealing your idea!

Let’s get this party started!

63 Things I’ve Learned in 63 Years

  1. No matter how broke you are….treat yourself sometimes
  2. Age is a state of mind, not a number
  3. A pet can save your sanity
  4. Never just settle for a life partner, you won’t be happy and neither will they
  5. Accept yourself….no other opinion means more
  6. Drink lots of water
  7. Life is going to throw you some curve balls….Learn to go with it, it all works out in the end
  8. Getting hurt is part of life
  9. Don’t trust someone your dog doesn’t like!
  10. Life is damn short—-Live it!
  11. Don’t hold grudges
  12. If you have a life partner always have some of your own money tucked away, have your own bank account
  13. If there is something you’ve always wanted to do….Do it! (Unless it hurts you or someone else)
  14. Don’t be afraid to have your own ideas or beliefs, you don’t need to be the same as everyone else
  15. Don’t be afraid of growing older, some of it sucks but some of its great.
  16. It’s necessary for your wellbeing to say NO sometimes
  17. Trust your gut instinct
  18. Don’t do something or be someone to just please the family. They don’t live your life. You do!
  19. If someone lies to you…..they will keep lying to you
  20. Don’t be peer pressured or family pressured into having kids. If you don’t want them, don’t have them. The world will do just fine.
  21. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Same goes for a spouse abuser. They won’t change no matter how much you think they will.
  22. Act silly sometimes
  23. You can’t herd cats very well
  24. Always carry extra undies in your purse when traveling. (sorry guys, don’t know what you would do) That way when your luggage is lost you have clean undies for the next day. No one wants to put on the same undies two days in a row.
  25. Also, when traveling keep extra cash on your person.
  26. If you’re on a diet, don’t burn vanilla scented candles
  27. Coffee is the worlds apology for making you get out of bed
  28. Whoever decided grocery shopping online and delivery service was a good thing should be given an award! I love it!
  29. Music really does soothe the soul
  30. Be impulsive sometimes, it can lead to wonderful things
  31. Tell the people who you love that you do love them. It might be the last chance you get
  32. You don’t need a lot of friends
  33. What friends you do have, let them know you appreciate them
  34. Always use a grammar and spell check when writing…..saves some embarrassment
  35. Read different things, even if you don’t think you will like the genre, sometimes you will be pleasantly surprised
  36. Keep a positive attitude, it will bring about positive things in your life
  37. You don’t need to be religious to be a good person
  38. Swearing is not unladylike
  39. Sometimes have a resting bitch face saves you from having to actually BE a bitch
  40. There is nothing wrong with eating your favorite comfort food sometimes
  41. I love my attitude
  42. No matter how much advice you can give a person, they will only take what they think they need and not what they actually need
  43. People usually don’t want that advice anyway, they just want to vent
  44. I’ve learned that being unhappy with my life at times was my own fault and only I could change it
  45. I’m fascinated by dragonflies
  46. I still believe in that Christmas magic can happen
  47. I have a young child’s awe of Mother Nature
  48. I’ve learned that being the ‘quiet one’ is not a personality flaw
  49. I’ve come to accept that I will never be thin and that’s ok with me
  50. I know now that my happiness lies in me, not someone or something else
  51. Making a list this long is damn hard!
  52. I love challenging my mind. I think that’s what keeps me young
  53. I prefer silence over noise or talking
  54. You can learn a lot about someone just by observing them
  55. I don’t forgive easily
  56. I never forget either
  57. People are generally nice given a chance
  58. There are always exceptions to the rule
  59. I still prefer animals over people
  60. Trying to win approval from my mother was a lifelong difficulty and never truly achieved
  61. I’m hard to love but worth the effort
  62. If you were looking for deep, inspirational things from me you probably didn’t get it ….hahahaha
  63. Maybe next year I will be wiser….I’ll be older, so there is that small chance

 

Don’t count on it!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

Life’s Little Ups and Downs

 

 

 

It’s hard to believe it’s been over a month since I posted anything. A part of me is so let down, another part just doesn’t care. I’m nothing if not honest, especially with myself. It’s not like I haven’t been around, I have. I visit some of my favorite blogs, I talk to some of my favorite people. I’m still here. I just haven’t been writing.

As for the personal side of things, well, it could be worse I guess. The husband is slowly on the mend from his stroke in late October. He’s been to so many specialists that I’ve lost count of them all. His mind is much clearer with different pain medications. So, for now, he is on the upswing. He had his 65th birthday on February 4th. Sad thing….his mother died on his birthday. She had dementia for the last few years of her life and didn’t know anyone at the end, but she was surrounded with family when she passed and I guess that’s all anyone can hope for.

The winter here has been snowy and cold and longer than usual it seems to me. Or, I’m just getting old and can’t handle it like I used to. I long for warmer weather and summer breezes. Today we’ve had freezing rain, sleet and now snow. Yeah, I’m so over winter.

To say I haven’t been writing is kind of a lie. Sorry about that. I have been writing, just not on here. I’m working on a new story and I’ve promised my best friend, Maddie that I was going to send it to her first to read and critique. I’m so rusty now that I want to make sure it’s ok before I post it here. So yes, I am writing, kind of. It’s a hit and miss kind of thing lately. Some days I write, some days I don’t.

Mostly my problem is I’m so damn tired. This time change stuff doesn’t help me either. I hate when they have daylight savings time. It messes my sleep up and I don’t need any more help with that.

I thought at one point of closing this blog down. I’ve been blogging for almost six years now and maybe I’ve run out of things to say or do on here. But, it’s obvious I haven’t shut it down. I can’t. I love the community here in blog land. I love knowing I’ve had this blog for so long. No, it’s not earth-shattering stuff on here. I’m not political.  I don’t write deep, meaningful essays. But, I love it. I love the people I’ve met. I love the challenges. So, I’m keeping it. I’m hoping to get back into blogging more often and I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me thus far.

Life might be hard sometimes, it might be damn hard a few times but it’s my life and I’ll keep going for as long as I can. I’ll keep posting things. I’ll keep appreciating all the comments and friends I’ve made here. I’ll keep living life’s little ups and downs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in poetry

Another Poem

 

 

 

Another Day

 

My eyes slowly open in the early morning light

I made it through another night

Another night of broken dreams

slivers of color like a kaleidoscope scheme

Breathing lightly, my mind wanders back in time

when life seemed easier to climb

My body finally awakens, with all the familiar pains

yeah, I’m alive because in death I’d feel nothin’

I slowly sit up and swing my legs to the side

my feet touch the floor and I slowly rise

My dry tongue cries for coffee as I reach to open my door

a small voice in my mind asks a question as I stand rooted to the floor

‘Will today bring more drama and stress?’

I sure could live with a lot less

I slowly open the door and step into the next room

whatever today brings I will deal with I assume

As I’m not ready for the alternative just yet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, writing

End of the Year Rant/Talk/Catch-Up/Something or Other

Hello, People! Yes, it’s really me. Been a while I know. I haven’t posted anything since November 9th. I think in the five or so years of blogging this is the longest I’ve gone without posting a thing.

Honestly, I just didn’t have the energy or want to. I felt/feel drained. Totally used up. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

It’s been a hard year, hell, it’s been a hard couple of years. No one’s fault. Just the way life is.

I find myself moody lately, my temper easily set off. I’m not a pleasant person to be around right now. Just ask the husband. I snap at him and everyone else. I’m super sarcastic and just awful, to tell the truth. Hell, I don’t even like myself.

I’m tired of life giving me the finger. I’m tired of dealing with one crisis after another. I’m tired of NOT writing. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having to make all the decisions and deal with the repercussions of my decisions. I’m tired of dealing with people who treat me like I’m an idiot just because I’m old, a woman, short and fat or whatever reason.

I’m tired of some people treating me and the husband like we are lepers and have something they might catch just because the husband had a stroke and lost his hearing aids and can’t hear very good. Yes, he had a stroke. Yes, he gets confused sometimes, yes he walks bent over like an old man, yes, he repeats himself……a lot. Yes, he’s sick and his next stroke might be his last. And ok, maybe you don’t like me personally. I’m fine with that. You don’t have to like me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

BUT……he’s still alive, he’s still talking, eating, walking, carrying on conversations (limited I know but still doing it). Yet he gets ignored and left alone and there is nothing I can do about it. I realize people have their own lives to live. That is no reason to forget about someone who is supposed to be a friend or relative.

I just don’t understand people. Maybe that’s why I don’t like most people.

Whew! That was quite a rant. I have felt it boiling up in me for weeks. Maybe I’ll feel better now that I’ve ‘blown’ so to speak. Maybe not.

Now that my rant is out of the way. And no, I’m not apologizing for it. It is how I feel. I don’t tell people how I REALLY feel often enough. That might change.

As for the husband. He’s still weak. Still can’t use his right hand. But, he does seem to be getting stronger. God knows he’s more stubborn. Some days are good and he can carry on conversations and stay with it. Some days not so much. Some days he’s super argumentative. Some days happy and joking around like he used to. It’s a bit of a roller coaster ride.

As for this blog. I’m continuing it. I’ll be writing more (fingers crossed). I’m not sure what I will be writing. I’m hoping more stories, more fiction, more poetry (even bad poetry) and fewer rants and raves.

I’m needing to get back to writing. It helps ground me.

I’m not trying to find the old me. She’s gone. Like the past year, gone forever. I am looking to find the new me. The one that is a bit wiser. A bit more settled. A bit happier.

I want to thank all my friends who have asked after me. Asked about the husband. And never judge.

I want to thank all the readers who no matter how erratic my posting was, read what I wrote.

I want to thank everyone who will be back again next year to help me grow into a better person, friend, and writer. It’s good to have you with me.

Happy New Year’s Everyone!

 

 

Posted in His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

Sam The Wonder Dog ~~~ An Update on the Husband

Hello Folks!

You’re probably wondering about the title of this post, eh? I know it’s kind of strange but all will become clear soon.

 

As many of you know, my husband had a stroke about three weeks ago. After battling cancer and a bad back, now this. He’s had a rough five or six years. He’s one tough man. Although I think he’s met his match this time.

The stroke left his right arm and hand almost useless. Which for him is very frustrating as it’s, of course, his prominent hand. At the best of times, this is a man with very little patience. Now, oh boy, he’s frustrated as hell.

We learned when he was in the hospital that this is actually his third stroke. He has had two prior ones we didn’t know about. This last one also occurred in the exact same some spot of the brain as the last one. I don’t know how that works on the brain with strokes but it was my understanding this one on top of the other is not that common.

Leave it to him to be different.

It’s also usual to have a stroke and then have the opposite side of your body affected. Again, the husband has to be different. The strokes all happened to his right side of the brain and affected the RIGHT side of his body. Most unusual.

I’ve noticed some changes in his personality since the stroke. I would guess this is normal. They are a bit subtle but there nonetheless. After his stroke, the doctors changed his pain meds. He was taking oxycodone. Now he’s on Hydromorphone which is derivative of morphine. It actually seems to work better for him.

When I brought him home last Friday I thought I could handle it. I figured it wasn’t going to be much different from what it normally is. I had to do pretty much everything then, I figured how much can it change? Oh, how naive I was!

I have to dress him, help him eat (usually just cut up big pieces for him) and other, personal things. I won’t go into detail. Just let’s say his personal space is no more. Sigh.

It’s damn hard. On me, mostly. Especially when he falls, which he has done three times last week. The most recent one was this morning. At 3 am, I finally broke down and called 911 as I knew there was no way I could get him up off the floor by myself. He fell outside the bathroom which is a narrow hallway. He is too weak to help much. His legs don’t want to work right and without his one hand and arm, well forget it. He wasn’t getting up.

The other times he was in the living room and I could maneuver his walker to him so between the walker and me we got him up. That was not going to work this morning.

This is where Sam, the wonder dog comes in. Now, Sam is just a little guy. Weighing in at about nine pounds, ten at the most. He sleeps with me in my bedroom, always has. My bedroom is on one end of the house. I keep my door closed as I can’t sleep if I hear the tv. Which for the husband has to be on 24/7. I also have to sleep in a cold room with a fan going.

Sam, the art of a loyal buddy (c) JLPhillips 2013

The husband has a bed in the living room. Which is right next to my bedroom. Unfortunately, I still cannot hear him if he falls. Sam lets me know when the husband falls. Which is strange because the husband has fallen before he had the stroke and Sam never let me know. But now, he wakes me up. I think he realizes it’s more important now then it was before. As before the husband could usually get back up himself and him falling happened rarely.

Even when he fell in the hallway this morning, Sam woke me up. He is my little hero. I walked out to the living room and noticed that the husband’s bed was empty. Sam took off to the hallway so I knew to follow and that’s where I found the husband. Poor man, he’s kind of banged up on this one. He has a cut over one eye and bruises.

He managed to take his walker to the bathroom but for some reason decided to try to get back to bed without it. Didn’t work well. Down he went. He doesn’t remember how long he was on the floor, just knew it had been a while.

There is, however, a tiny little ray of hope in all this. I believe I have found the main reason he has been falling. It only happens in the middle of the night. And only when he takes two sleeping pills. So……I did a little experiment this past week. For a couple of nights, I only gave him one sleeping pill. (Much to his disgust). Those nights he DIDN’T fall. He managed to get up, go the bathroom and get back to bed in one piece. Last night he insisted I give him two sleeping pills. He fell.

No more two sleeping pills a night. I even talked to the home nurse yesterday and she agreed with me, that it was possibly the sleeping pills that are making him fall. As far as I’m concerned, last night proved my theory.

My gut told me this was the case, I always listen to my gut.

So this has been our life lately.

As for me, personally. I’m tired. I’m more than tired. I’m exhausted. But, I will go on and do what I must because no one else is going to do it for me. The husband is a good man, whose had a bad run of luck on his health. I will be there for him.

That’s the least I can do.

As for Sam, he got an extra treat today. Good boy, Sam!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, nonfiction

A Passing of a Wonderful Lady ~~ Kimberly Wilhelmina Floria

I’m so sad and sorry to find out just minutes ago that our writing friend and blogger Kim Floria of Silentlyheardonce has died. I don’t know all the details as of yet but I do know she had been in the hospital for quite a while as her lung cancer came back and I believe it spread.

Kim was a great writer and an overall nice person. I feel such sadness at her passing. I called her friend as she always had something nice to say and a way of departing wisdom. If any of you fellow bloggers know if you knew her.

She will be sadly missed here in my blogging world.

RIP Kim.

 

Posted in His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

Why I’ve Been So Quiet Lately

 

Hello People. Hope your end of the week is a good one.

Why I’ve been so quiet on here lately is not good. I wish it was good news but it’s not. The husband had a stroke. Yeah, it’s been the shits. He hadn’t been feeling well since Thanksgiving (Canada’s Thanksgiving). For a few days, he was confused and disoriented. I should have taken him to the doctor then but he refused to go.

Sunday night I couldn’t rouse him from his sleep. He had been asleep all day. Not even getting up to go to the bathroom. Anyone who is in their mid-sixties knows this is not natural. We got to go pee often. One of those age things.

Anyway, he hadn’t even moved positions and I was getting concerned so I tried to wake him up…..and couldn’t. He was breathing but he wasn’t waking up entirely. I managed to get him to open his eyes a bit but he couldn’t talk when he tried to. That’s when I knew I needed to call an ambulance.

He did manage to wake up enough to realize the EMS guys were there but he wasn’t able to speak very well. So off they went and I followed a few minutes after. I was with him in the ER from about 8-8:30 pm Sunday night until they told me to go home and rest about 4 am Monday morning. He was pretty much out of it when I left. He couldn’t talk and his right arm wouldn’t move, plus, his right hand was swollen about twice its size.

I went home but I didn’t sleep. How could I? I rested as much as I could and was back to the hospital Monday morning.

I didn’t know any more than I did early that morning until I could talk to the doctor. I finally was able to after a couple of hours of watching him drift in and out of a restless sleep. They had done a CT scan of his head and lungs as he was having some difficulty breathing. They also did a whole bunch of blood work the night before.

The first day…..this is what they knew for sure……he had a bad lung infection and his kidneys weren’t working as they should. They weren’t confirming yet that he had a stroke but in my heart, I knew he did. He was put on two antibiotics and a saline drip as he was also highly dehydrated.

He was able to talk a bit better but his speech was very slow and a bit garbled. He couldn’t use his right arm or hand. The doctor said they could tell from the CT scan that he had a couple of prior strokes in the past but they couldn’t tell if he had one now. There was a couple of different tests they wanted to do. Let me tell you I was scared for him. He was in pretty bad shape.

To make a really long story short. They are now saying he DID have a stroke along with his lung infection. They were worried about his kidneys and liver as neither one was working as it should. The right hand being swollen they couldn’t really explain.

When I left him yesterday his speech was back to normal. His right hand was no longer swollen and he had mobility in his right arm. They still had him on antibiotics. Also, now his blood pressure is high and they were giving him shots to bring it down. This is a man whose blood pressure was always on the low side. Not good.

And he’s not eating. He hasn’t had anything to eat since Saturday. He took one bite of his cheese sandwich yesterday at lunch and that was it. I couldn’t get him to eat anything else. Of course, we all know what hospital food is like. His was even worse. He had a bowl of soup. It was supposed to be soup. I think. Everything he eats or drinks has to be thickened up because of his lungs. If it’s not thick it will go INTO his lungs instead of his stomach. Not good. But, omg, that was some nasty so-called food.

I felt so sorry for him.

He wants to come home. They have no date as to when he will be released. I won’t see him until tomorrow morning as I am exhausted and I have so much to catch up on here at home. He understands. I’ll take him his clothes then. I’m hoping I will know more then also. We shall see.

Anyways, that’s been my life lately. If you have any extra good thoughts to send the husbands way, please do. We will both appreciate it.

Now I am off to do laundry and dishes. Sighhhh

 

 

Posted in Cee's Share Your World, Mi Vida Loca, questions and answers

Share Your World ~~~ Sept. 11, 2017

Hello from smokey Alberta Canada! Yeah, we got smoke coming from all over with the grass fires. Where I am we have them south, west, north, and northwest of us. One is getting closer. It’s been so hot and dry this summer. We need rain, so if you got some to spare, send it my way!

On to more pleasant news and a completely selfish note…..It’s my birthday today! (Sept. 12) Hey, I’ll promote myself….I’m not that way. LOL

Now on with Cee’s Share Your World!

Would you want $200,000 right now or $250,000 in a year? It’s safe to assume all money is tax-free.

Honestly, as broke as I am, I’d take the 200,000 now. Also, as old as I am now I might not be around next year. ha! I need to redo my bathroom. There seems to be a leak somewhere under the tub and it all has to be torn out and replaced and I can’t afford to do it. So, yeah, I’ll take 200,000 now.

 

Is it more important to love or be loved?

How can a simple question be so complicated? Hmmmm. I’m thinking it’s more important to love. I know I can manage without being loved in return. Been there, done that. For me, I have to love someone or something. Like my dog Sam. I have a lot of love stored up and I need to give it. It helps me become a better person as a whole being.

 

List things that represent abundance to you.

I’ve been poor most of my life, on the verge of being homeless once too often. So abundance to me is a roof over my head that I can afford to pay for. Heat in the winter. My animals. My friends. Having enough food in the house so we don’t go hungry. (There was a time when that was not possible) So abundance to me is having these things.

What inspired you this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

The resilience of human beings. Knock us down 100 times and we’ll get up 101 times. Mother Nature did it’s damnedest this past couple of weeks to test us, with hurricanes, floods, fires, and earthquakes and we still get up again, help each other out, and keep moving forward. No matter how many others want to keep us down, whether it be mother nature or other men, we will come back fighting and stronger than ever. (Take note you despots of the world)

 

 

 

Everyone who was in the hurricanes or in the path of the many, many fires….stay safe, stay strong and reach out. There is always someone willing to help.

 

 

Posted in poetry, postaday, writing

Hidden Pain ~~~ A Poem

Hidden Pain

 

She looks but doesn’t see

the hurt she dishes out with words

careless words spoken without thought

she doesn’t care

 

He agrees to everything

the anger stays hidden deep inside

words are not spoken for hours, days, weeks, years

Yet, he doesn’t miss the hurt the child receives

 

The small heart is broken, shattered, torn

words spoken so carelessly taken so far deep inside

tears fall silently, never seen by the woman who caused them

never-failing to try to make her change her mind

 

A woman hurting, even after a lifetime

wondering again as the hurt resurfaces countless times

tears falling inside to wet the damaged soul

asking the same old question that never got answered

 

Why did she dislike me so?