Posted in Blogging, His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

Life’s Little Ups and Downs

 

 

 

It’s hard to believe it’s been over a month since I posted anything. A part of me is so let down, another part just doesn’t care. I’m nothing if not honest, especially with myself. It’s not like I haven’t been around, I have. I visit some of my favorite blogs, I talk to some of my favorite people. I’m still here. I just haven’t been writing.

As for the personal side of things, well, it could be worse I guess. The husband is slowly on the mend from his stroke in late October. He’s been to so many specialists that I’ve lost count of them all. His mind is much clearer with different pain medications. So, for now, he is on the upswing. He had his 65th birthday on February 4th. Sad thing….his mother died on his birthday. She had dementia for the last few years of her life and didn’t know anyone at the end, but she was surrounded with family when she passed and I guess that’s all anyone can hope for.

The winter here has been snowy and cold and longer than usual it seems to me. Or, I’m just getting old and can’t handle it like I used to. I long for warmer weather and summer breezes. Today we’ve had freezing rain, sleet and now snow. Yeah, I’m so over winter.

To say I haven’t been writing is kind of a lie. Sorry about that. I have been writing, just not on here. I’m working on a new story and I’ve promised my best friend, Maddie that I was going to send it to her first to read and critique. I’m so rusty now that I want to make sure it’s ok before I post it here. So yes, I am writing, kind of. It’s a hit and miss kind of thing lately. Some days I write, some days I don’t.

Mostly my problem is I’m so damn tired. This time change stuff doesn’t help me either. I hate when they have daylight savings time. It messes my sleep up and I don’t need any more help with that.

I thought at one point of closing this blog down. I’ve been blogging for almost six years now and maybe I’ve run out of things to say or do on here. But, it’s obvious I haven’t shut it down. I can’t. I love the community here in blog land. I love knowing I’ve had this blog for so long. No, it’s not earth-shattering stuff on here. I’m not political.  I don’t write deep, meaningful essays. But, I love it. I love the people I’ve met. I love the challenges. So, I’m keeping it. I’m hoping to get back into blogging more often and I appreciate everyone who has stuck with me thus far.

Life might be hard sometimes, it might be damn hard a few times but it’s my life and I’ll keep going for as long as I can. I’ll keep posting things. I’ll keep appreciating all the comments and friends I’ve made here. I’ll keep living life’s little ups and downs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, His Days (about the husband), Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, writing

End of the Year Rant/Talk/Catch-Up/Something or Other

Hello, People! Yes, it’s really me. Been a while I know. I haven’t posted anything since November 9th. I think in the five or so years of blogging this is the longest I’ve gone without posting a thing.

Honestly, I just didn’t have the energy or want to. I felt/feel drained. Totally used up. It’s not a pleasant feeling.

It’s been a hard year, hell, it’s been a hard couple of years. No one’s fault. Just the way life is.

I find myself moody lately, my temper easily set off. I’m not a pleasant person to be around right now. Just ask the husband. I snap at him and everyone else. I’m super sarcastic and just awful, to tell the truth. Hell, I don’t even like myself.

I’m tired of life giving me the finger. I’m tired of dealing with one crisis after another. I’m tired of NOT writing. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having to make all the decisions and deal with the repercussions of my decisions. I’m tired of dealing with people who treat me like I’m an idiot just because I’m old, a woman, short and fat or whatever reason.

I’m tired of some people treating me and the husband like we are lepers and have something they might catch just because the husband had a stroke and lost his hearing aids and can’t hear very good. Yes, he had a stroke. Yes, he gets confused sometimes, yes he walks bent over like an old man, yes, he repeats himself……a lot. Yes, he’s sick and his next stroke might be his last. And ok, maybe you don’t like me personally. I’m fine with that. You don’t have to like me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.

BUT……he’s still alive, he’s still talking, eating, walking, carrying on conversations (limited I know but still doing it). Yet he gets ignored and left alone and there is nothing I can do about it. I realize people have their own lives to live. That is no reason to forget about someone who is supposed to be a friend or relative.

I just don’t understand people. Maybe that’s why I don’t like most people.

Whew! That was quite a rant. I have felt it boiling up in me for weeks. Maybe I’ll feel better now that I’ve ‘blown’ so to speak. Maybe not.

Now that my rant is out of the way. And no, I’m not apologizing for it. It is how I feel. I don’t tell people how I REALLY feel often enough. That might change.

As for the husband. He’s still weak. Still can’t use his right hand. But, he does seem to be getting stronger. God knows he’s more stubborn. Some days are good and he can carry on conversations and stay with it. Some days not so much. Some days he’s super argumentative. Some days happy and joking around like he used to. It’s a bit of a roller coaster ride.

As for this blog. I’m continuing it. I’ll be writing more (fingers crossed). I’m not sure what I will be writing. I’m hoping more stories, more fiction, more poetry (even bad poetry) and fewer rants and raves.

I’m needing to get back to writing. It helps ground me.

I’m not trying to find the old me. She’s gone. Like the past year, gone forever. I am looking to find the new me. The one that is a bit wiser. A bit more settled. A bit happier.

I want to thank all my friends who have asked after me. Asked about the husband. And never judge.

I want to thank all the readers who no matter how erratic my posting was, read what I wrote.

I want to thank everyone who will be back again next year to help me grow into a better person, friend, and writer. It’s good to have you with me.

Happy New Year’s Everyone!

 

 

Posted in Mi Vida Loca, My Incomplete List of Small Pleasures, nonfiction

The Incomplete List of Small Pleasures

Hello, People!

Hope your week is going well for you. As for me, I’ve been super lazy lately. My apologies for not posting in a while or very sporadically. Seems to be my style lately. It’s been hard to put my mind to writing. Hell, it’s been hard to put my mind to anything. My friends have been so understanding. Because of that, I thought it would be a good day to post another small list of small pleasures.

 

The Incomplete

 

 

I’m grateful for the rain we are having today. We’ve had a lot of rain this summer but this morning is pleasurable because it washed away the smell of skunk that lingered throughout the night. It seems Sam and I had the dubious pleasure of a skunk’s visit under my bedroom window last night. Of course, I had my window open to enjoy the refreshing night breeze that was blowing. Wow, that was some strong scent there Mr. Skunk! Woke Sam and I both out of a dead sleep. Now it just smells like fresh rain. Ahhhhh……

I receive great pleasure from friends. They are so understanding and patient with me. They also give me some great advice. Thanks Maddie for always being there with advice on my writing and encouragement to keep going. Thanks Mer for being so patient with me while we work on this project we have going. Thanks Tiny for being so patient and understanding with me in my terrible emailing habit. Well, I guess it’s not really a habit if you don’t do it, is it? Sorry about that.

I’m grateful for small notebooks. The kind I can pick up really cheap at the dollar store. Without them, I would be lost. Seems my mind has turned into swiss cheese and without my trusty notebooks I would be totally in the dark of what appointments are coming up, what I need to pick up at the grocery store and anything else I need to keep track of. My computer desk has multitude notebooks and post-it notes on it. It also has two cups full of pens, pencils, and markers. I have two cork boards on my walls surrounding my desk to also help keep track of things. I think I have too many things going on. No wonder I’m tired all the time. Still…..I’m grateful.

I’m thankful for books. I have been doing quite a bit of reading lately. It helps me and my constantly buzzing mind. I can get lost in another world, another life somewhere. It gives my mind a much-needed rest from my own life.

Don’t get me wrong. I like my life. I work for myself. I have my own timetable. I HAVE a life. It’s not always rosy and full of sunshine. Whose is? I’m alive, relatively healthy and even though my mind is a sieve lately I am still grateful that I am alive.

Because the alternative would really suck. Unless I get to come back and haunt some people. I have a list……….

 

 

 

What are some small pleasures in your life today?

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Friday Quotes, nonfiction, postaday

Friday Quotes ~~ October 16, 2015

 

 

You Can't Get What

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Friday Quotes, nonfiction, postaday

Friday Quotes ~~ October 2, 2015

Life Shouldn't Be Lived

 

 

 

 

(I also want to remind everyone of “Operation Birthday Card for Mom”, which you can read if you haven’t already by clicking the link. Thank you! Have a wonderful weekend!)

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, Monday Meeting, nonfiction, postaday, Stories of my life, writing

Monday Meeting ~~ Sept 7, 2015

Good day people! Those of you who are celebrating Labor Day, have a great one. Hope you enjoy your day off if you have the day off. Canada also celebrates Labor Day.

Let’s get this meeting started.

Monday Meeting

 

I don’t know about the rest of you, but, September has not started out well. Weather wise. It’s cold! For the last three days, I’ve had my furnace on. We’ve had temps in the low 40’s (between 5-8C) during the day and close to freezing at night. Cold rain and wind does not make tomatoes ripen, let me tell you. Right now the sun is fighting the clouds and it’s a balmy 12C (54F). It’s too early for weather this cool.

So as I sip my hot coffee I let my dissatisfaction with the weather slip away. Ah, coffee makes most things tolerable.

I have some news on the husband front. Tomorrow we have a meeting set up with someone who is (supposedly) going to help us file paperwork with the government to get him some more help, financially and medically. The great thing is this person is coming to the house! They called last week and set up an appointment. As he explained it to us on the phone, the mental health clinic that the husband talked to last month got in touch with this guy from the government. They told him the husband needs to apply to some programs to receive help as his depression is caused partly because we need the help! Well, duh, I could have told them that if they asked.

The nice thing is the husband doesn’t have to take a painful car ride somewhere. He can stay in the comfort of the house and have someone come to him. Should be interesting. Guess that means I should tidy up some, eh? Of course I could tell the guy I’ve decorated early for Halloween. 😉 Cobwebs and all! Ha!

Have I mentioned the allergies? No? Well, my allergies have been going crazy lately! Watering eyes, sniffles, sneezing, hoarseness, itchy ears. My goodness, it’s been bad this time of the year. But, I soldier on….feeling sorry for me yet? Hey, I’m trying! Don’t worry, it’ll pass. So I’ll stop whining about it. For now.

On the book front, I want to thank everyone who has purchased The Canine Caper, you guys are the best! I do hope you enjoyed it. I’m diligently working on the next to final edits for A Case of Deceit. I’m happy to say I’m on target with those. I also got the proof of the paperback version of the cover last week. It looks amazing! Thank you again Tiny for all your hard work.

Something funny happened when the proof came in the mail. The husband watched me open it and then grabbed hold of the book almost before I could get a good look at it. I told him it was just a proof so I could see how the cover looks. The story inside would not be right as I had yet to do the edits. He said he didn’t care, he was going to read it. I almost fell out of my chair! He has NEVER read anything I have written. NEVER! But, he was determined he was going to read this unedited book.

I was so nervous. First, he rarely reads books. He’s more of a newspaper, TV sort of man. He went to reading and barely set the book down all day until he was finished! He shuffled into my office where I was working on the computer, handed me the book and said, “I’m proud of you. It was a great story. It had me interested from the beginning, where I wanted to know what was going to happen next. Your story had me turning the pages until the end.”

I don’t think I have ever felt more proud of myself than when I heard him say that. Now he is an honest man. Believe me he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. He never hesitates to tell me if I’ve done something wrong. He is also not a book reader by nature. So for him to read it in one day was an accomplishment! He liked it…he really liked it! haha!

Next I have to pass the Mom test, as she has informed me she wants a copy of the book when it’s out. Uh oh….

On a more cheerful note…Saturday is my birthday (the 12th) and don’t forget about my weekend birthday party! I’m not sure what exactly I’ll have going on but I do know I’ll hopefully have The Canine Caper on sale for the weekend. So stop on by sometime during the weekend and get a copy of The Canine Caper if you haven’t already done so!

I have finally put up some buttons on my sidebar with pictures of the books where all you have to do is click on them and they will take you to Amazon where you can order them. I’m slow, but I get there eventually.

That’s about it for this Monday Meeting. Hope to see you this weekend! Until then, have a great day!

 

Posted in Blogging, Cee's Challenges, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, postaday, Uncategorized, writing

Share Your World – 2014 Week 13

Hello people!

It’s time for another edition of Share Your World. Cee from Cee’s Photography asks us 4 questions that we answer and share.

So there is this week’s questions. Thank you for reading! And please feel free to comment. I love comments!

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Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?

Yes, I do. We can’t be the only intelligent life out in that big, huge galaxy. We are nothing but a tiny speck in the universe, we cannot be so arrogant as to assume we are the only ones out there.

What type of pet or pets do you not want to have?

I love all animals, I do. But I would not have spiders, or snakes as pets. Never! What if they got out? No! Uh uh, no way. I would not be able to sleep just thinking they might escape.

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If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Oh, it would have to be something bright. Like red, orange, yellow, any really bright color full of hope and happiness.

What type of transportation would you be? Why?

At my age, it’s going to have to be something slower than a race car. LOL  Maybe a nice pretty scooter. It shoots along pretty good, gets into tight places and is fun to drive. Easy on the wallet, yet classy.  It fits two people, but they need to be real close. As an introvert, not everyone is invited to join me and my scooter.

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Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

This last week I’m grateful to best friends, plans coming together and communication.  As for this week, I’m looking forward to some of the same. I’m easy to please.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Daily Prompt, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, Stories of my life, Uncategorized, writing

Daily Prompt: I Walk the Line

Today’s Daily Prompt asks these questions today;

Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why yes, I do have a code I live by, thank you for asking. I’ve been in this world for a while now, some might consider me ‘old’, some just middle age. I don’t consider myself either one, but that’s a whole other story.

I have had situations in my life that have shown me at my worst. I’m not proud of those times and thankfully it was way in the past. I’ve grown since then, lived, loved, lost and soaked it all in.

I’ve developed a few codes of conduct that I usually stick with  pretty closely. It’s not something written down in some book. It’s something I’ve developed on my own from just living life. I’ve thought about it and the best description I can come up with is this.

My ‘code’ that I live by is relatively simple.  It’s a combination of the Toltec Agreements, my Native American heritage, and just plain old me.

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Be impeccable with your word: Always say what you mean. Speak with integrity. Don’t gossip and don’t put yourself down. Speak with love, truth and kindness. 

I do try to do this always. I don’t like gossip and I try not to spread any. It’s just a waste of breath, as you don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life. You may hear bits and pieces, but unless you are behind their closed doors you don’t really know. There is usually much more to someone’s story than you hear. And well, Karma, you know, that’s a big one for me. Talk with respect, kindness and truth, and it will never come back to bite your ass later on.

Don’t take anything personally: What someone else does is NOT because of you. They made a choice. What others say and do has nothing to do with you. They are the owners of their own words and deeds and when you accept that, and become immune to others deeds and words you won’t become the victim of needless suffering and hurt.

This one took me a great many years to learn. But it is so true. Everyone has their choices to make, how they make them is up to them. NOT YOU. So next time when someone says to you, “You made me do this”, call them out on their lie and then walk away with your head held high. You didn’t make them do anything, they did it all on their own.

Don’t make assumptions: Don’t be afraid to ask questions or to say what you really want. Talk to others in a clear and concise manner, it avoids misunderstandings, drama and sadness. This alone can be a life changer.

I have learned the hard way that this is true. Don’t be wishy washy on what you want. If you aren’t sure about something, ask questions! Even if those questions are to yourself. Ask them and get answers. Always, Always be honest, especially to yourself. Talk to others in a concise manner. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t say one thing and then do another. Don’t lie. And don’t dramatize what you are saying. Whether in writing or in speaking. No misunderstandings can help you and others not get hurt. And might lead to wonderful things to happen in your world.

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Always do your best: Your best is always going to change. Sometimes daily. Sometimes several times IN a day. Whether you are sick or well, tired or rested. Whatever the circumstance, do your best for that moment and avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret.

Yes, yes, yes! Be kind to yourself for one thing. There is enough hardship and criticism in this world, why add to it?  Especially toward yourself? It’s not a good thing to do. Others will follow suit and start criticizing you also. Don’t let that happen. Always do your best or try to. You owe it to yourself to do so. Also, you will feel so good about yourself knowing you did try your best. In my life I have always tried my best at everything I have done. So when something did fail, I knew deep inside it wasn’t because of me. And I could be proud of that fact. Regret is something I have very little of in my life.

 

Do you have a code you live by? If so let me know, as I am always listening and learning.

 

 

 

 

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  11. do your best and leave the rest to fortuosity | eastelmhurst.a.go.go
  12. This teacher’s code | One Educator’s Life
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  24. What’s My Line(s)? | The Zombies Ate My Brains
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Posted in Blog challenge, Cee's Challenges, nonfiction, Uncategorized, writing

Share Your World – 2014 Week 11

Hello people! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I know it’s Monday for most of us, but don’t let that get you down. It only lasts 24 hours!

Since it’s Monday, it’s time for Cee’s Share Your World, where Cee asks us four questions and we answer them. Why? Well to get to know each other just a little better. It’s a nice thing, enjoy! Or better yet, come join us!

share-your-world2

 

If you were an ice cream cone how many scoops and flavors would you be and why?

I don’t really care for ice cream cones, so I think I will go with something else. Also, I’m a diabetic, so ice cream is a rare treat, usually reserved for the hottest days of summer. I love frozen yogurt. When it first came out years ago, it was kind of nasty. But now they have improved it a lot. If I can find a place that serves soft serve frozen yogurt, in a dish.  I would be there getting me some. So I guess my answer would be no scoops and vanilla or chocolate. Or both!

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Are you left or right handed?

I am right-handed. I can write my name if I have to left-handed, but it’s not the best.

Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?

I do it a lot. I hate talking on the phone and avoid it if possible. If I have to call a company about something I practice and I write things down so I don’t forget. Introverts do this a lot. 🙂

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How many rings before you answer the phone?

If I have to answer the phone I will let it ring about 3 times. Maybe 4. If I don’t have to answer the phone I don’t answer it. Ha-ha! Oh, and I don’t have voice mail either.  No way to leave a message. Yeah, I’m ancient school. Or cheap. Take your pick.

The reason for no voice mail is simple. I don’t have nor use a smart phone. Land line mostly. I got tired of messages from telemarketers or bots, so when my voice message machine died I never got another one. And have refused to put one on through my phone provider. Eh, if it’s important they will call back. Plus, I have caller ID, if I’m out, I check that when I get back and if someone called whom I want to call back I do, but usually not.

Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I am grateful for good friends, staying in touch with them on here or in emails. I am grateful that the weather seems to be getting warmer so spring can’t be far behind. I am looking forward to even warmer weather and longer days.