Posted in Fiction, Flash Fiction, Wednesday Whatever!, writing

Wednesday Whatever! ~~ A short story

Today I decided to do a little bit of writing. I went to *Random First Line Generator* and just decided to do a short story with whatever first line I happened to like.

Below is what I came up with for the first line of:

The footsteps were moving away.

 

woman-520052_1280

 

The footsteps were moving away. She took a deep breath, drew the hood over her head and turned to dart in the opposite direction when her ears picked up a slight sound. She froze, her nerves tingling. If she was caught they would kill her. No questions asked, no hesitation.

The sound of faint buzzing came from behind her. Damn. One of those mechanical tracking devices had caught her scent. If she didn’t move fast she was dead and she wasn’t ready to die today.

Reaching into her pocket she withdrew a small vial. After smashing the vial into the ground she ran down a flight of stairs barely visible in the darkness. Inside the vial was a concoction of her own making. A vile and long lingering scent that would confuse the tracking device long enough for her to make her escape.

Her lips curved up into a small sneer as she raced around the next building. It would take more than a few slow-moving guards and a bloodhound machine to stop her. She knew it had been a risk to come this close to her enemy but it was also the only way to get the information she needed.

Carson could make demands, yell and fret all he wanted. It didn’t make any difference. Sasha was always going to do what she wanted when she wanted. How else were they going to free her father from the prisons of Alazaban?

Her father was all the family she had left in this desolate wasteland of a world. She wasn’t going to lose him to a loathsome, ego-maniac like Drakon.

Drakon was a self-made lunatic. He had money, power, and men behind him. She had herself, Carson and a few rag-tailed friends. Sasha felt the odds were still in her favor. After all, Carson was the best mechanic around and could build things from almost nothing. Her strengths were that she was a genius with chemicals.

With the two of them and her few friends, she would make Drakon sorry he ever took notice of her that fateful day last year in the market. She wasn’t about to give in to Drakon’s demands.

Because she refused his advances, Drakon took her total dislike of him and made her the promise that she would pay for her stupidity. He called it stupid, she called it survival. It was well known what Drakon did to his former lovers when he got tired of them. She wasn’t going to suffer the same fate.

He kidnapped her father and told her she could trade herself for him. Wasn’t going to happen. Sasha was going to get her father back…or die trying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in postaday, Wednesday Whatever!, Word Fun

Wednesday Whatever!

I almost did a post about the nightmares I’ve been having. Really. They involve Trump and my ex. Now isn’t that the definition of nightmares? Then I decided most of us are probably Trumped out, so I decided to keep my nightmares to myself. I just hope they stop soon because I’m beginning to really dislike the color orange.

Instead, I decided we all needed a little break from the bleak world of Trumpiness. (Yes, that’s a made-up word. Go with it.)

Today I’m going to discuss Spoonerisms. (Yes, this is a REAL word.) What’s a spoonerism you ask? Great question! Spoonerisms are words or phrases in which letters or syllables get swapped. This often happens accidentally in slips of the tongue.

For example…

  • A lack of pies (A pack of lies) (ok, my mind is still on Trump, sorry!)

We’ve all had slips of the tongue. I know I do it. Especially, when I’m excited or angry. Then I want to say something profound (or profane) and it comes out all wrong. Which is funny and it breaks the mood.

Here are some others I’ve found in my research on Spoonerisms (or my procrastination on writing something more profound.)

spoonerisms-1

 

 

Tease my ears (Ease my tears)

My zips are lipped (My lips are zipped)

Cop porn (Popcorn)

Ready as a stock (Steady as a rock)

I hit my bunny bone (I hit my funny bone)

Know your blows (Blow your nose)

And this little story I found….full of spoonerisms. Have a laugh on me!

Goldybear and the Three Locks

Once a time upon, long before there were beddy tares, there lived in a far wood away, the bear threes. There was the boppa pear, the bomma mare, and the little bearby babe.

Now, this gramily of fizzlies hived lappily for a tong, tong, lime, weep in the doods, in a little louse made out of hogs. Things were fine until one morning when they sat down to pour their eatage. You see, the bother mare said, “My porridge is hoo tot!”

And the bother mare pasted her torrage and said, “This is har foo tot!” And the bittle laby bear said, “My porrige is head rot, fike a lurnace!” So the bear threes decided to go for a long woods in the walk, to let their corridge pool.

Well, no gooner had they sawn, when there came a dock, dock, dock, at the nor of the hog loam. And you know who that was? Right! Loldygocks. And she was looking for a plesting race. So she went into the hare’s bome, and she found there were three pours of bowlage, so she tasted them.

Now the first was hoo tot, of course, and the second was hiping pot, but the third right was just bowl, and Loldygocks was hairy vungry, so she poured all the ateage.

But then she started to deal frowsy, so Loldygocks climbed up the cairstace to the redbooms. When she got there, she saw there were bee little threads.

Now, the birst fed was hoo tard. And the becond sed was soo toft. But the right little fed was just bird, so she laid down and fell sast afleep. In fact, she snarted to store. (Snort!)

Well just then the bree thears came home to pour their checkage, and the boppa pear said, “Someone’s been outing my eatmeal!”, and the bother mare said, ” Someone’s been pouring my eatage!”, and the bearby babe said, “Hey, someone’s been grampling my sanola!”

Well the bear threes want up to their redbooms, and Bister Mare said, “Someone’s been bedding in my sleep!”, and the bother mare said, “Someone’s been beeping in my sled!”, and the little bearby babe said, “Someone’s been cruising in my snib, and there she is!”

Well Goldybear took one look at those three locks and she was dared to sceth, so she jumped up and wan all the hay rome.

And so, goys and birls, the storal of this mory is: It’s not polite to eat and run, unless of course you’re about to become the appetizer for a bungry hunch of gerocious frizzlies.

 

 

My grammar checker had heart palpitations on that one! Have you got any spoonerisms that have come out of your mouth? Let us know! 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, Wednesday Whatever!

Wednesday Whatever!

Hello, People!

 

Wednesday

 

Ah, it’s good to be back! It seems I took an unplanned mini-vacation from blogging. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Seems a lot longer. Now I’m back in the saddle again. Did you miss me? No? Ah well, I missed you!

The reason for the time away from blogging was nothing serious. I was just super busy and a bit lazy. Seemed like the husband and I had something to do almost every day. The days we didn’t have appointments I spent doing nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true either. I read books, I cleaned house and I watched endless videos on YouTube. Yeah, being super lazy. No writing, not being creative, no brain cells spent.

The husband is done with chemo treatments. He is doing better. He had another colonoscopy Friday to make sure no more tumors have grown and to check on his colon operation. The only problem the doctor found was where they had patched his colon together after removing the tumor. They had to dilate that area as it had collapsed. Otherwise, he was healthy. Yay! It’s been a long year of operations and chemo treatments for him.

A person doesn’t realize how much pressure they are under until some of it is gone. I was so tired lately. Now, I’m doing better and ready to blog again. Maybe even work on my books! Look out world here I come…..again.

Some of my online friends were worried about me and I thank them for that. You know who you are. You guys are the best. You emailed me and asked how I was doing. That helps more than you know.

Last year was a pretty rough year. Between the husband’s cancer and chemo treatments to my mother dying. Yeah, rough. It’s getting better now. Good things are happening with more good things on the horizon. I just needed to catch my breath for a bit.

I will try my best to get back into my blogging schedule. Hope to see you around!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fiction, Flash Fiction, postaday, stories, Wednesday Whatever!, writing

Wednesday Whatever!

Today I thought I would do some actual creative writing. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that. I couldn’t think of what to write but then found this nifty page with a bunch of writing prompt generators. The one I’m using today is ‘Random First Line Generator‘.

I hope you enjoy my little flash fiction.

 

window-1433538_1280

 

There was something not quite right about the window. Nothing stood out odd but there was something ‘off’. Like it had some of that old glass in it that when you looked through it made things off-balance. Yet the realtor said it was a new house. Built about ten years ago. The reason Clair bought it was because of its location. It was in the middle of a small woodland area. Yet in the middle of a large city.

Clair fell in love with it as soon as she saw it. On the small size but just right for her. The woods surrounding it were full of birds and wildlife and Clair felt at home the first time she stepped foot inside. Which was odd as Clair was a city girl, born and raised. She loved the city with its bustle and hustle, people coming and going no matter what time of the day. Always something to do, something to see, people around. She never thought she would like a home like this one but she fell in love with it and bought it that same day.

Now that she was all moved in and pretty much settled she had time to think about that odd window. Clair sat on the sofa with a well-earned glass of red wine and looked at the window. Taking small sips of her wine she studied it. It looked like the other windows of the house. White trimmed, looking out the left side of the house. It didn’t have drapes on it nor window blinds. Which was kind of odd as all the other windows in the house had mini blinds on them and this one was bare.

Clair got up from the couch and walked in front of the window and looked out. Not having drapes or mini blinds wasn’t a problem as the window faced a rather dense thicket and she knew the sun never directly shown through this window. Now that she was thinking about the window, it was strange that this window was the only one on this side of the house. Walking closer to the window she saw her own reflection staring back at her. It was almost like she was looking in a mirror until she once again noticed the thicket behind her reflection. Standing close to the window she raised her hand and using just her index finger she put it close to the window pane, she didn’t touch it, just skimmed it as she watched a butterfly making its slow way through the thicket outside.

She always was fascinated by butterflies and her smile showed her joy in watching it. Once it disappeared she turned from the window and walked back to the couch. “Enough of these fanciful flights,” she muttered out loud.

She picked up her wine glass once more from the coffee table and glanced at the odd window. Something drew her to it so she slowly wandered over to stand in front of it again. Taking a small sip of wine she noticed a small smudge on the window pane. Clair thought she must have touched the pristine window after all. She drew a kleenex from her jeans pocket and stepping close to the window she wiped at the smudge her finger had left on the window.

Frowning she noticed the smudged fingerprint still there so she wiped harder. Clair’s eyes widened with sudden realization……the fingerprint was on the outside of the glass!

The glass slipped from her hand and the wine spilled over the floor like blood as Clair slowly moved her eyes from the fingerprint to her reflection. She drew in her breath as her reflection smiled and gave her a slight wave. She quickly stepped back when the reflection in the glass took a step closer to the window, pursed her lips and blew a fog onto the window. With her fingertip, Clair’s twin on the other side of the window slowly wrote out two words……..

‘Help Me’

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fiction, Flash Fiction, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!, Word Fun, writing

Wednesday Whatever!

Today is going to be more word fun. I love words, letters, paragraphs, stories. There are so many people out there with so much talent for writing good stories. Sometimes though I like to read short stories or flash fiction. I love to write them too.

I think the shortest stories I’ve written were the six-word stories that you see sometimes as challenges. Now that truly is a challenge! It’s not so easy. I suppose the most famous six-word story is the one by Hemingway. I’m sure you are familiar with this one…. “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

In fact, I just did a six-word challenge not too long ago over on J.A. Allens blog. She has a challenge going every week over at her blog, why not check it out?

I went on the search for some six-word stories. Here’s some of what I found. I hope you enjoy them!

 

Wednesday

 

I’ll start out with my own six-word story that I did for J.A. Allens challenge.

Stormy night. Checked in Hotel California.

Now some of what I found.

microfiction_web

 

download (1)

 

beautiful

 

368677_orig

 

9a874ce23e845b2b14f4460a0a7cb898

 

img_20160217_101621181-1-e1455805445619

 

5ade19b8-8cfc-48e2-aedc-638e293a8c41

 

 

 

Can you write your own six-word story? Please do in the comment section, I would love to read them! 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fiction, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!, writing

Wednesday Whatever! ~~~ Short story Part 2

Today on Wednesday Whatever, I thought I would continue with the short story I started about a month ago (has it been that long??). Several readers and friends asked for the next part, so here it is!

Hope you enjoy.

I haven’t come up with a title yet. Anyone have any ideas? Let me know!

Part one can be read …… here.

 

abandoned town

 

 

Marisa’s eyes scanned the surrounding areas. Trying to see if anything or anyone was in the shadows along the deserted street. The man remained quiet after his statement that she should join him. Who was he? How did he know her name? Why should she join him?

She liked being alone. She didn’t have to watch out for anyone but herself and that suited her just fine. Marisa stayed as still as the man down the block. Except her eyes took everything in. A person had to be prepared to move fast.

“I was told that someone had information on my family. That’s the only reason I’m here.”

The only thing that moved on the man was his mouth. His eyes never left Marisa since she walked out of the shadows.

“I know where your brother is. I can take you to him.”

Marisa studied the man. He had to be at least six-foot four. A big man, skin color that matched the chocolate bar in her bag. Eyes that gave nothing away. The sun shone on his skull with a filtered light through the leaves of the tree. He was a big man but there was a stillness in him that almost made him…restful. A strange word to associate with anyone nowadays. That’s what came to mind as she watched him. Restful.

“You know where he is? Have you talked to him?”

“Yes.”

That’s all he said. That one word. She wasn’t sure yet she trusted him. Something in her wanted to trust him. Yet, she held back.

“What’s his name? How did you meet him? Where is he? How did you know where to find me?” She asked the questions rapidly. Marisa wanted answers but it was also a test.

She watched him smile a slow spreading smile. It showed white teeth and a dimple in his right cheek. Nothing else moved but those well-defined lips. Then she heard a deep rumble of a chuckle drift on the breeze toward her.

“Girl you don’t trust easily and that’s what will keep you alive. His name is Matt. He’s twenty-seven years old and has an older sister. That’s you. I met him in the mountain’s west of here. He’s one of the smartest men I know.”

Matt? Could he really still be alive? Matt was what she used to call a dreamer. Smart, funny and loved to solve puzzles of any kind. How did he manage to survive so long? She loved her brother but she never would have thought he would survive the world going to hell.

The man got the details right, yet she still was cautious.

“Matt told me his sister once gave him a special gift. A small wood box. She told him to stick all his worries, doubts and hurts inside and the box would change them to dust to blow away in the wind.”

Tears filled her eyes and by sheer will power she stopped them from falling. She remembered giving him that box years ago. He had been a small boy, bullied in school to the point he wanted to die. She gave him the box and told him to never give up on himself. That he was gifted and that he would do great things one day. He believed her. She smiled.

“Ok, you know him. Just tell me where he is and I’ll find him.”

“Can’t do that.” He stated.

“Why not?”

“Matt’s a special friend of mine. I promised him that I would find you, if you were alive, and take you to him personally. I don’t break promises.”

Marisa frowned. He might know Matt and Matt might trust him. But, she wasn’t Matt and she preferred going alone.

“I do better alone.” She stated.

“Maybe you do. This one time though you are going to have trust someone. Me. Where your brother is, is skillfully hidden. You would never find it without me.”

Marisa’s hands clasped into fists. She hated anyone telling her should couldn’t do something. She watched the man watch her. He had a small smile as if he knew she was fighting telling him to go to hell and that she could find Matt herself.

After a few seconds she unclasped her fists, relaxed her shoulders and shrugged.

“Fine. I know the mountains can be tricky. At least let me know what your name is since you know mine.”

She heard the soft, deep chuckle once more as he moved towards her in slow, even paces. His brown eyes crinkled with suppressed laughter when he stopped in front of her, held a large hand out and said, “The name is Joseph. Telling you that you can trust me is not worth much. But, you can trust me, Marisa.”

“I got no choice, Joseph.”

“We all got choices.” He said as his hand engulfed Marisa’s smaller one.

“Come on, we got to move as we got company.”

Marisa gave a quick look behind the big man. Said one expletive and moved quickly to the shadows where she grabbed her backpack and followed Joseph deeper into the maze of broken buildings.

 

 

 

 

Posted in Humor, nonfiction, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!, Word Fun

Wednesday Whatever!

It’s been a bit of a weird and busy week for me. So today to relax I’m going to show you some more weird and wonderful words.

I love old or barely known words. They fascinate me for some reason. So today I’ll show you some I’ve come across in my research. Hope you enjoy!

 

Wednesday

 

A: argle-bargle……copious but meaningless talk or writing (sort of like some of my stories!)

B: borborygmus……a rumbling or gurgling noise in the intestines (now when I get those rumblings in the tummy, instead of saying I’m hungry, I’ll just tell people “don’t worry, it’s just a borborygmus!)

C: chiliad……..a thousand things or a thousand years (never in a chiliad would I have guessed that!)

D: doryphore………a pedantic and annoyingly persistent critic of others (I’m looking at you, D. Trump!)

E: ecdysiast……..a striptease performer (I’m not sure what to say…we all got to make a living.)

F: futz…….to waste time or busy oneself aimlessly (I do tend to futz a lot.)

G: gasconade……….extravagant boasting (I do not gasconade when I talk about myself. Much.)

H: habile……deft or skilful (I am habile in wasting time. ha!)

I: incunabula……books printed before 1501 (books is much easier to say!)

J: jumentous…….resembling horse’s urine (now wouldn’t this be fun as an insult! “you are jumentous, my good sir!” ha!)

K: karateka…..a person who performs karate

L: logomachy…….an argument about words (we could have a logomachy about this post if we wanted, but we won’t)

M: mouse potato……..a person who spends large amounts of their leisure or working time on a computer (I didn’t know they had a word(s) for what I do every day!)

N: nugacity……..triviality or frivolity (like this post!)

O: onolatry……..the worship of donkeys or asses (now I know a few people who worship themselves and they are asses….)

P: pother………a commotion or fuss (I’m sure there will be no pother about this post!)

R: rawky…………foggy, damp, and cold (it was rawky here this morning!)

S: suedehead…….a youth like a skinhead but with slightly longer hair and smarter clothes (I just thought this was funny)

T: triskaidekaphobia……extreme superstition about the number thirteen (I knew someone who had this. I just called her weird.)

U: umbriferous…….shady

V: velleity………a wish or inclination which is not strong enough to lead one to take action (I have a velleity to vacuum.)

W: wabbit……..exhausted or slightly unwell (and here I thought it was Elmer’s way of talking about Bugs!)

Z: zopissa…….a medicinal preparation made from wax and pitch scraped from the sides of ships (oh I bet that was beneficial!)

 

There you have it, folks. If anyone can add-on with words of your own, please go ahead! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, postaday, Stories of my life, Wednesday Whatever!

Wednesday Whatever!

My friend Mer over at Knocked over by a feather did this 50 list post where she posted 50 little things about herself most people wouldn’t know. I told her I was going to steal the idea. So here I am….stealing. 😉

I’m not sure what I could possibly tell you that might be interesting or that you might want to know. ha! Goodness, most of you that have been here for a while know a lot about me already but I will try to come up with something new.

 

download

 

  1. I never drank coffee until I was in my late twenties. I loved the smell of brewing coffee back then but hated the taste.
  2. I started smoking cigarettes at the age of nine. Stopped on and off throughout the years, finally quit for good in 2007.
  3. I’m allergic to spider webs. Not the spiders themselves. To their webs. They secrete a protein when they make their webs and that’s what I’m allergic to. I get red itchy welts wherever my flesh has touched one.
  4. I almost got fired from my first job because I refused to give to the Salvation Army. I had read an article back then that stated the donations we gave mostly went to pay salaries of their Board of Directors than to actually helping people. So on principle, I refused to give. My supervisor tried to blackmail me into giving as I was the only one in my department that didn’t give. I dared them to fire me. They didn’t.
  5. I kissed a girl. I was young and wanted to know what it was like.
  6. I use sarcasm as a shield so no one knows how shy I really am.
  7. I don’t wear jewelry. Ever.
  8. I’ve never been baptised. My parents didn’t believe in teaching us kids any one particular religion. They told us to explore. So I did. I have been to lots of different churches. Even Jehovah Witness’. I have come to my own way of believing which leans more toward Wicca and Native American.
  9. I once lived with my ex, his girlfriend, and her daughter because I had nowhere else to live. It only lasted a couple of months before they moved out while I was at work. With all my stuff. Except my clothes, bed, one chair and a tv tray.
  10. My favorite vegetable is asparagus. (Mer and I have great taste!)
  11. The vegetable I hate is peas. With lima beans right there with it.
  12. I’m allergic to beets.
  13. I went through menopause in my early 30’s and would lose my temper so badly that all I could see literally was red. It scared me, then depressed me.
  14. I had an affair with a married man.
  15. I had nightmares for a month after seeing the movie ‘The Exorcist’.  Yes, I read the book too. To this day, I don’t watch horror movies. Or read horror books.
  16. I have never broken a bone.
  17. When I was a teenager I developed ulcers because of my mom. We had a tumultuous relationship.
  18. I love lemons.
  19. I taught myself to type. I now type over 60 wpm.
  20. I hate talking on the telephone and will avoid it whenever possible.
  21. My two best friends are ladies I have never met in person but I know I could tell them anything without them judging me. I trust them.
  22. I never wanted kids.
  23. I never wanted to get married.
  24. Both marriages came about because I was ‘pushed’ into them. Otherwise, I would  have been quite content just living with them without the paperwork.
  25. I have never been on a motorcycle.
  26. I am the only one in my immediate family who has attended a college.
  27. I taught myself to paint.
  28. I used to sell my hand painted items in the Dallas Market Center. 
  29. I never tried pot until I was in my late 40’s. Didn’t try it again.
  30. I’m scared of the dark
  31. I haven’t had my hair cut since 2006.
  32. I used to faint at the sight of needles. Now I’m a diabetic. Karma sucks sometimes.
  33. I am a food addict.
  34. I have never seen a Stars Wars film
  35. I have never read a Harry Potter book
  36. I don’t like chick films
  37. I always wished I looked more like my Native American mother than my German father
  38. I still resent my family for not telling me my dad died until months after, nor letting me say good-bye
  39. I love Mexican food and wish someone would smuggle some to me.
  40. I never wear long sleeve shirts
  41. I hate sweaters
  42. I always wanted to own a mastiff dog
  43. or a pet dragon
  44. I lost all my body hair (except on my head and face) more than 20 years ago
  45. I haven’t shaved my legs or armpits since because of it, I haven’t had to as no hair grows there
  46. I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of HOW I will die
  47. Nothing shocks me anymore, lived too much, seen too much
  48. I have never had a birthday party and I’m going to be 61
  49. I don’t mind getting older anymore (I used to!) because now I can say whatever I want and get away with it.
  50. Someone sent me my ex’s Facebook page last week…..yup, I looked

 

Whew!!
Whew!!

 

Some of this might come as a surprise. I hope I have given you some new stuff about me that you didn’t know before. For some of you new people it gives you a chance to know me more than you probably wish. ha!

Maybe some of you feel inspired to do a list of your own. Let me know if you do!

Thanks Mer for the idea! ❤

 

 

Posted in Blogging, Fiction, Humor, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!

Wednesday Whatever!

I’d like to introduce everyone to Aunt Maimie. Now, Aunt Maimie is the relative we all have in our family tree. You know the one. She’s the one that’s a bit…eccentric. A bit weird. A bit loud. A bit outspoken.

The other thing about Aunt Maimie is that you really don’t mind listening to her advice because it’s given with good intentions. Her heart is well-meaning, even if her stories sometimes go off track a bit.

Aunt Maimie is a widowed woman of undetermined age. She could be anywhere from fifty to ninety years old. All I know is she has been around forever and never seems to change much. She wears bright red lipstick. In fact, I have never seen her without her signature red lips and cat-eye shaped glasses.

She loves to tell stories. The stories all have one thing in common. Aunt Maimie. Her life. What she’s learned and is now passing on to you.

So without further ado…I give you…Aunt Maimie!

 

Aunt Maime's

 

Aunt Maimie’s Unsolicited Advice on Life, Love and Other Assorted Things

 

Never hook up with a ‘Mama’s Boy’. Trust me on this one, my pets. Long ago when I was young and naïve I did that very same thing.

Of course, it didn’t last long. It was doomed from the start. He was also thirteen years my senior. Can you imagine? Sure, I was young and looking for adventure. I thought an older man would give me some stories to tell when I got older.

Well, he did that! Just not in  the way he nor I would have wanted. So, I’m warning you. Do NOT hook up with a Mama’s boy!

I’m not going to tell you how I got to know this man. No, no. Some things a lady should keep private. Anyway, it only lasted six months. A tiny amount of time in my life.

He took me far away from my boring life and into his boring life. I have to laugh at that one, my pets. Oh my, yes.

Now his mother was this red-headed witch of a woman. She hated me on sight. I didn’t know he lived with his mother until it was too late. So there I was, ensconced in her home and in her life and in her son’s bed.

In all honesty, she never saw us in bed. I had my own room. He had his and she had hers. As soon as she left in the mornings for work, there he was, sliding into bed with me to have his fun. Ah, I was so young. I soon learned he not only left out the odd bit of him living with his mother, he also left out the bit about him being a jackass.

You see, my pets. He was also divorced with a teenage son. Seems he left out a lot of things about himself. His son was a good kid. I met him a few times during my brief stay. I liked him more than his father. Ha!

Now back to his mother. She was a hateful woman. Full of bitterness and anger at the world. She worked as a waitress in one of the restaurants at the airport. She loved her son….I mean she worshiped the man. It was unhealthy what was between them. What made it much stranger was she had two other children. Both nice people.

This one, though, she treated differently. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it all these many years past. Ok, let’s just skip that.

This woman had the cutest little dog. A Yorkie. Tiny little thing. Never could get friendly with the animal, though. He stayed hidden away most of the time. Unless the wicked witch was home. I quickly learned the reason why. This man was mean to it! I once heard him kick the little fellow clear across the room! That’s when I decided to start making plans to leave. I never could abide a person who was mean to animals.

Over the months I was there the mother grew more and more hateful toward me. I had less and less respect for the man and his mother. We disagreed about a lot of things. The man and I. The mother wouldn’t interfere, she managed to do her damage in other ways.

I do not believe in violence, my pets. I’m a peace-loving soul. This man made me resort to violence. One time only but still….it wasn’t pleasant and I still cannot believe I did it.

You see, he called your Aunt Maimie a nasty name during one of our….um…disagreements! Yes, he did. Well now, I couldn’t stand for that. So I sort of slapped him. Granted it was with a closed hand. I didn’t even know I was going to do it. He called me that vile name and I just turned around and decked him. Didn’t realize I had it in me. The look on his face while he was holding his sore jaw was almost worth it.

But, no, no, no. I do not approve of violence to resolve your difficulties. So take heed, my pets. Don’t do what I did.

I was so bored living there I used to go out for long walks. By myself. I would walk to the stores or just around the neighborhood. Got me some good exercise, I did. One benefit of that is I became quite fit, not that I needed to, mind you. It was just something to do to get out of that house.

Now back to his mama. That woman got to the point where she refused to feed me! Yes, she did. She told her son that I was his responsibility. To either send me back where I came from or feed me himself. Now I tell you, is that any way to treat someone? No, it isn’t. So I would walk to the grocery store every few days and spend what small amount of money I had to buy me a package of bologna and a loaf of bread.

That’s pretty much what I ate for those six months. Bologna and bread! Not a diet I would recommend, my pets. No, no. I was a proud woman and refused to ask for food. I wasn’t working, there were no jobs around and believe me, I looked.

I got my revenge on the mama one day. I still laugh about it all these many years later. Small of me, I’m sure. One rare occasion, she was being pleasant and she showed me a picture of herself when she was my age. Early twenties or so. She was beautiful. I had to admit that as much as it pains me to. She had glorious red hair back then and beautiful blue eyes. I looked at that picture and looked at her sitting across from me with the bitterness showing in her face and the meanness of her soul shining in her eyes and I said……”You used to be beautiful! What happened?”

Yes, I said it out loud! Oh, my. I was so young and naïve. It just burst out of my young mouth. Ah, to be so young and innocent again.

Well, my pets, I’m sure you can guess what happened after that incident. She became my mortal enemy after that day.

As for me, I couldn’t get out of that noxious home fast enough. So with what little money I had left I bought a bus ticket out of there!

No, I didn’t go home. I went and visited a relative in another state and there my pets is a whole different story! My life was just beginning to open up to many more of its lessons.

So do what your Aunt Maimie advises and don’t hook up with a mama’s boy! It will just lead to all sorts of trouble.

 

 

 

Do you have any questions about life, love or other assorted things you want to ask Aunt Maimie? Please do! Aunt Maimie will answer your questions in a later post and of course give you credit! Don’t be shy. She really is harmless….sort of. 

 

 

Posted in Humor, nonfiction, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!, Word Fun

Wednesday Whatever! ~~ Fun With Words

Hello, People! Remember me? Today for Wednesday Whatever I thought we would have another edition of Fun with Words. Being a writer and a lover of words in general, finding the different ways to have fun with words is ….well, fun! Let’s see what I have for you today……

 

Wednesday

 

Today I thought I would bring you some different words you don’t see every day. Words that are unusually specific and therefore, perfect for certain situations and words that are just fun to say.

Like…..

bibliobibuli……people who read too much. (Is that even possible??)

discalced………barefooted (just saying he’s barefooted is not near as much fun as saying, ‘he’s discalced’)

latrinalia………..graffiti found in restrooms. (Here I just thought all those writings were just defacing it!)

recidivist…….one who continually commits crime and seems incurable of criminal tendencies (I have some relatives that are recidivists.)

ultra-crepidarian………….giving opinions or criticism beyond one’s own range of experience. (Wow! They’ve been on facebook!)

walla-walla………..the unintelligible sound made by many people talking at once. (Oh my, our family reunions are full of walla-walla)

tergiversate………to turn one’s back on one’s party or cause; also, to make evasive statements or equivocate. (Trump if full of tergiversates!)

spanghew……….to cause a frog or toad to fly up in the air. (Don’t frighten the frogs!)

frogs

quincunx…………the pattern of five objects arranged such that four of the five objects form a square, while the fifth is positioned in the middle. (The dots on the ‘5’ side of a die are arranged in a quincunx.)

perendinate…………..to put off until the day after tomorrow; also, to keep postponing from day to day. (I always perendinate the bills)

omphalopsychite…………one who contemplates his navel. (Everyone needs a hobby)

jillick……..to skip a stone across water. ( I used to jillick when I was a kid!)

expiscate…….to learn through laborious investigation (As I did with this post!)

donnybrook……….a brawl or heated public dispute.(The last presidential debate was a donnybrook!)

chatoyant…………changing in luster or color, as cat’s eyes. (Now this I did not know!)

floccinaucinihilipilification……..the categorizing of something as worthless. (Like this post!)

 

There you have it people, just a few of the better ones I found. Now I think I need to find a pond so I can jillick and take a break.

 

 

Have you come across any words that are unusual? 

Posted in Blogging, nonfiction, postaday, Wednesday Whatever!

Wednesday Whatever! ~~ Things I Will Never Do

Wednesday

 

We’ve all seen bucket lists or made our own bucket lists. You know the kind…things we want to do before we die or before we turn 30, 40, 50, etc. I’ve decided to do a different kind of bucket list. Things I will never do while I live or things I will never do again. I try to learn by my mistakes and sometimes doing something once is enough for me.

I always did like being a bit different. So here’s my list…

  1. Never get married….again. Twice is two times too many. I’m getting too damn old to break in another man.
  2. I will never give up coffee. I know plenty people my age that either had to give up coffee or went to caffeine free. Which is giving up coffee, I mean what’s the point of drinking coffee if not for the caffeine? I will likely die with a hot cup of coffee gripped in my cold dead hand.
  3. I will not live with hatred or prejudice in my heart or my home. Period. That is not a way to live. We are all human and we are all brothers and sisters. No matter the color of our skin, the way we love someone, or our beliefs. I won’t force my thoughts on you, you just do the same and we can all live together in peace. Come on people, if we don’t have each other’s back who will? We together are all WE got. So let’s do it in love.
  4. I won’t let go of my dreams. We all have dreams, things we want to accomplish, things we want to create. Once we give those up, we lose ourselves to darkness. No matter how tired I am or how much I hurt, I refuse to give up my dreams.
  5. With number 4 comes this one…I won’t ever stop writing. It’s in my soul, my heart and my very being to write. I’m not saying I will always write good things but I will always write. I could live to be one hundred and I will still write. Of course by then we should be able to write without actually using our hands, technology is awesome. Plus, I need my hands for my coffee. 😉
  6. I will never be ungrateful for the help I receive from family and friends. I will always appreciate my friends for being who they are. 
  7. I will never be rich. Well, unless I win the lottery, which I don’t see happening. And that’s ok. Being rich would bring a whole new set of problems, not to mention, a whole bunch of relatives I didn’t know I had. ha! I might never be rich but I make do with what I have and am just grateful for a roof over my head. There have been a few times in my life when that was pretty doubtful so I’ve come to appreciate where I live, no matter how humble it is.
  8. I won’t give up learning. No matter how old I become I love learning new things, especially new technology things. I’m a nerd. 
  9. I will never stop cussing. An old fashion word for swearing, using curse words, saying things like hell, dammit, shit and f*** (although I rarely use that one). I’m a lady, but a lady with a mouth on her and who isn’t afraid to use it. It’s a part of me.
  10. I won’t jump out of an airplane. Uh, uh, not this girl. No way. 
  11. I won’t ever give up my optimism. Been on the other side before, the dark side. Won’t go there again. They lie you know…..they don’t have cookies!
  12. And for the even dozen….I won’t give up on my friends. They are friends for a reason. I love my friends. You might get depressed, you might hurt, you might even do yourself an injury but I will never give up on you! I will be there with my hand held out to help pull you out of the hole you are in. I will try my best to make you smile and bring a little light and love into your life when you need it. I. Will. Never. Give. You. Up! 

There you have it. Probably a bit cheesy on my end but it’s how I feel today.

by TolmanCotton
by TolmanCotton

 

What about you? What’s one thing you will never do?

Posted in Blogging, Humor, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction, postaday, Stories of my life, Wednesday Whatever!

Wednesday Whatever!

Another fine edition of Wednesday Whatever! Coming to you from the windblown town that I reside from. Nestled miles from the Rocky Mountains in a low laying valley that the wind seems to favor.

(c) Jeff Swenson
(c) Jeff Swenson

It must favor it because it fricken blows every chance it gets! And I’m fricken tired of it! Ahhhhh, that felt better. #%$&*^@ wind! Yes, that is me speaking not so nicely about a part of Mother Nature that she finds rather entertaining, I’m sure. I’m also sure she will get her revenge in time. Ha! It was worth it! Take that Mother Nature!

As you can probably tell…the wind is blowing here today….and yesterday….and the day before that….and…..sighhhh.

I don’t mind the wind most days, really I don’t. I love a gentle breeze as much as the next person. Even in the middle of fricken January. But, when it blows a gale and hinders me from even walking or breathing is when I get a bit put out. Which is what happened today.

Yesterday I needed to go the grocery store. I put it off because the wind was blowing so fiercely that it was cleaning off my patio for me…and I didn’t need nor want it cleaned off.

Today I got up and it was as calm as one would like. Not a single breeze blowing. Absolutely perfect. It was even warm enough that it was melting the snow. Great! So I got dressed and decided to go to the store. I would have whistled if I could have, that’s how happy I was. I would whistle but I can’t. Not to mention my teeth might fly out. Not a pretty sight. Anyway, I got in my trusty, rusty mini van and tootled off to the grocery store.

The sun wasn’t shining, but it was calm and pleasant. I might have even smiled at a perfect stranger. I might have, but I don’t remember. Old age you know. I get to the store and amble inside enjoying the day. I push my cart up and down the aisles, just enjoying being by myself for a while. It doesn’t happen too often folks, so I was enjoying the novelty. I finally get to the check out with my few items and smile at the cashier. She’s a nice lady that often checks me out.

We chat for a few minutes about this and that and of course, the weather. We both comment how nice it was to have calmness after the terrible winds we’ve been having. I glance out the big windows in the front of the store and notice it’s still calm. I smile. I’m happy. I finish paying for my purchases and walk toward the exit. I don’t even mind waiting behind the lady that decided she needed the whole doorway to stop and put on her coat. Slowly. To tuck her scarf just so around her neck and pull on her gloves. While I’m patiently behind her just wanting to load my groceries and go home.

Finally, the lady is done getting dressed and we proceed out the door. At my store there are two doors you need to go through to reach the outdoors. They have doors on both ends of the store. Well, the lady in front of me goes off one way and I go off the opposite way. I go through the next doors to what was a nice morning into Mother Nature’s perverted sense of humor. The wind threatens to knock me off my feet while it steals my breath away. Literally. I couldn’t fricken breath the wind was that strong.

I hang on tight to the cart that wants to turn around and go back into the store. I push it to my van and open the back-end all the time trying to breathe while the wind rams my breath back down my throat. %#(%&^ wind! I get the back door open (it’s the kind that opens upward). I grab my bags and stash them as quickly as I can. Suddenly I feel this large thump on the top of my head. The wind had pushed the door closed on top of my head! Ouch! Dammit! I shove it back up and stow the rest of my stuff in the back and quickly close the door.

images (2)

I let loose of the cart for a second! Just a split second! The wind whips it toward the parking lot and almost into an oncoming car. I grab it in the nick of time while still trying to stay upright in the battering wind. If I could have had enough breath to curse I would have! The wind didn’t give an inch.

I manage to push the cart back to the store and walk against the wind back to my van. I get in and narrowly miss getting my leg crushed by the door as I scramble inside. That’s when I start to curse. In between panting. Not my finest moment.

I drive home and hope the wind is a bit calmer by the house. Yeah, who was I kidding? It wasn’t. If anything, it was worse. I get the back-end of the van open once more and the gate so I can tote my bags in. The wind pulls the gate out of my hands and drives a sliver into my finger. @#%^$*# wind!

I pile my bags on the porch, fight the wind to close the gate and open the house door. I manage to get the bags of groceries inside, fighting the wind all the while. I collapse in the kitchen chair and try to catch my breath. I swear I heard Mother Nature chuckling as I rubbed the top of my head and sucked on my sore finger.

#^@%#^$& wind!

 

 

How was your day?