Bad News/Good News

You know how life sometimes goes well? Then, it doesn’t? Yeah, that’s been my life for the last while or so. It’s been a bit over a month since my last post. Feels much longer. It’s been one hell of a month and not in a good way.

First, let me assure you, that I’m not giving up and I’m still fighting the good fight. It’s just that I’m a lot more weary and a lot more battered. Cancer is a bitch! Hey, I’ve been told a time or two that so am I! I’m NOT giving up! Just so bone tired.

Ok, now the good news. My cancer seems to be stable at the moment. One cancerous node on my lung is actually a tiny, teeny bit smaller than it was and the other one is the same as back in March. So, that’s good news. Fluid build-up is a bit higher but I had the fluid drained from around my stomach a couple of weeks ago. My lungs need it again, soon.

If it wasn’t for the damn side effects of the treatments I would be doing okay. Those unfortunately have kicked my ass this past month. The sores on my legs came back after my dose of Prednisone was done. Oh gods did they! Wham, within less than a week of being off Prednisone my legs are a mess with open sores that are weeping fluid. The last few weeks I’ve had a home care nurse come to the house twice a day to change the dressing on my legs.

The pain is out of this world! OH MY GOD……I cry almost every night because of the pain. It has absolutely drained the life out of me. Between the pain in my legs and having a hard time breathing because of the fluid buildup around my lungs, I’m exhausted by nighttime. I’m having to use a cane just to get around the house. Like I said, it has kicked my ass.

I saw my cancer doctor around the middle of last month, about 2 weeks after coming off of Prednisone and having my legs really mess up again. Let me tell you, I came out of that visit royally pissed off! I’m still so angry! First, he was over an hour late. Even though I saw him in the halls and in his office beforehand. Then, he wouldn’t even unwrap my legs to look at them. He kept insisting I needed to go to Calgary to a dermatologist there for my legs. Now Calgary is about two, two and a half-hour drive north of me (one way). I needed to have my daughter-in-law take off work to take me and it’s a draining trip for me.

He pretty much forced me to go. He wouldn’t give me anything for the legs. Nothing. Unless I go to Calgary. Less than 5 minutes talking to me and he was gone. I…….was…..so……angry!

I went home and cried. Angry tears but I hate it when I cry!

I’m going to Calgary (under duress) on the 12th. My daughter-in-law is taking me. She’s my angel, I swear! I couldn’t handle all this without her and my granddaughter. I love them both!

In the meantime, I happened to mention my doctor’s visit to my therapist when we visited and how I thought it was so unfair he was unwilling to help me until after I went to Calgary. She mentioned talking to my Palliative doctor and seeing if he would help. I told her my doubts as I’ve found doctors usually stick with doctors. So, she said she would talk to him for me. Which she did as my Palliative doctor reached out to me the other day. He is another angel, I swear. He put me back on Prednisone (a low dose) that will last until I see the person in Calgary and he also prescribed a stronger pain medicine as my Tylenol 3’s weren’t cutting it.

It seems I do have people on my side!

This is day two of back on Prednisone and it’s already working its magic. Next, we’ll see what the person in Calgary will say. Wish me luck and keep that good mojo coming my way!

Love you all!