Posted in poetry, postaday, writing

Hidden Pain ~~~ A Poem

Hidden Pain

 

She looks but doesn’t see

the hurt she dishes out with words

careless words spoken without thought

she doesn’t care

 

He agrees to everything

the anger stays hidden deep inside

words are not spoken for hours, days, weeks, years

Yet, he doesn’t miss the hurt the child receives

 

The small heart is broken, shattered, torn

words spoken so carelessly taken so far deep inside

tears fall silently, never seen by the woman who caused them

never-failing to try to make her change her mind

 

A woman hurting, even after a lifetime

wondering again as the hurt resurfaces countless times

tears falling inside to wet the damaged soul

asking the same old question that never got answered

 

Why did she dislike me so?

 

 

 

 

Posted in Blog challenge, Daily Prompt, His Days (about the husband), Humor, Mi Vida Loca

The Nightlife is Not the Life for Me

If you think this post is going to be about the nightlife where I party…well you will be disappointed.

It’s about sleep or the lack of in my case. Let me set the scene for you.

The husband and I are at the age where we like our sleep at night. Because of his severe back problems we set up his bed in the living room. Yes, not the prettiest living room decor but it is what it has to be.

He loves his TV. He watches it all the time. For him, it has to be on twenty-four hours a day. Even when he sleeps.

Now me, I must have a quiet semi-dark room to sleep. I have never been able to sleep with a TV or radio on. As I grow older it gets worse. I hate noise at night except the white noise of my fan. This is the only way I can sleep.

My bedroom is right off the living room. I keep my door closed and he turns down his TV to the lowest he can have it and still hear it. Now, have I told you he is also going deaf? Yes, unfortunately, he is. He wears two hearing aids which help a lot.

Now, for the most part, the TV is not the problem.  I’ve kind of gotten used to it. Although I must admit, the odd times the power goes off and the TV is quiet, I rejoice inside. Don’t tell the husband.

Ok, back to my story. The husband is on super strong pain medication and he takes sleeping pills at night. Two of them. Most times he sleeps for about an hour or two then he is up and down all night. And here lies my problem.

As he is awake off and on all night he snacks later at night. I don’t mind that, as he needs to gain weight and if he wants to eat at 1 am, who am I to tell him no? The only rule we have is no using the stove. (he sometimes forgets to turn it off. Danger!) So he raids the refrigerator and eats like a teenager. In fact, he lives sort of like a teenager. He sleeps most of the day and eats in the middle of the night, and waits for me to clean up after him.

So, what am I complaining about then, you ask? This was last night….

I’m all comfy in my bed with Sam (my dog) at my side and just drifting off to sleep when…

*crinkle, crinkle, CRINKLE!*

My eyes pop open as I wonder what the hell that noise is. I hear it again…

*crinkle, CRINKLE, CRIIINNNKLEEE*

After hearing it again I finally figure out it is the husband eating potato chips in bed and it’s the noise of the bag.

I shake my head and close my eyes and just start to go into a sweet slumber when I hear…..

 *bang! rrrrrrrrrrrrr, ding, ding, ding!*

The husband running the microwave for his snacks. No problem, I hear it most nights so I close my eyes again.

*clink, clink, clink* 

*crinkle, crinkle*

*clink, clink, CLINK!*

Eyes popping open, again.

*clink, CLINK, clink*

I finally figure out it’s the husband eating and is the sound of his fork hitting the plate, plus the potato chip bag. Rather damn loud too. Sighhhhh.

I swear under my breath and look at the clock, 2 am. I was asleep for all of half an hour. I’m tired so I close my eyes and snuggle down into my pillows.

Sleep, sweet sleep. Finally. My eyes pop open and I sit up in bed in a flash as I hear someone shouting…….

*BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP, WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH, BLEEP, BLEEP!!!*

I almost leaped out of my skin. It was so loud it sounded right next to me. It wasn’t. It was the TV. The husband fell asleep and turned over on the TV remote and turned it up very high. He turned it down before I went into the living room like a raging harpy and threw the remote and the TV out the door. Lucky him.

My heart slowed down and I looked at the clock and frowned, 2:34 am. I was so tired!

I get up to go to the bathroom as my bladder has decided since I was awake now anyway, why not empty it. I grumble as I do my bladder’s bidding and think if I am woken up one more time, the husband won’t need sleeping pills as I will put him to sleep myself. The hard way.

I crawl back into bed and close my eyes once more. A deep sigh escapes as I drift off into dreamland. Finally. Hopefully.

As I write this, the husband is sound asleep and I think it’s time to do some vacuuming.

 

 

 

(This post was done for WordPress’s Daily Prompt Later and yes, it’s all true.)

 

 

 

Posted in Cee's Share Your World, Mi Vida Loca, nonfiction

Share Your World ~~ March 20, 2017

Last week for one reason or another I didn’t post much. Sorry about that. Life has a way of getting in the way of pleasure sometimes. I’ll have to do one of my catching up posts to update you on things in my part of the world. I have some (maybe) good news about the husband. So, stay tuned for that!

For today, I’m posting Cee’s Share Your World questions for this week. Thanks Cee for helping me with a blog post. 🙂

Today’s questions and answers are:

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 

Some days I definitely feel my years. Others, hmm, maybe thirty, or forty? Now some of you might think…wow…that’s not that young of an age. It is when you are actually twice that. Ha! My mind is forever young, my body…not so much.

So, you’re on your way out and it’s raining. Do you know where your umbrella is or do you frantically search for it all over your apartment/house?

People actually own an umbrella? I love the rain. The feel of it on my face. I don’t really remember when I did own an umbrella. I don’t remember the last time I saw someone use one either. I don’t think they are as popular as they used to be.

Do you recharge your energy by going out with friends for a good time or by spending it with quiet time alone?

Oh, I must have my alone time. I would prefer it in the woods surrounded by nature but that’s not going to happen anytime soon. So I find it in my office or ‘writing room’ when I actually do any writing. I love the sound of silence.

Name three things you and your spouse, partner or best friend have in common.

I actually laughed at this one because I began thinking what my husband and I have in common…..and came up with nothing. Really, opposites must attract with us because we are not alike at all. So, I had to look at my bestie and me. We both have the same sense of humor (weird), we both love to write and read and we both are very honest with each other. If we don’t hear from each other in weeks, it’s ok. We communicate like time never passed. In fact we often times marvel at how similar our lives are. It helps in the understanding of each other.

 

That’s it for today, folks. Short and sweet. Hows things going with you? Let me know!

 

 

 

Posted in nonfiction, Photo Challenges, poetry, postaday, writing

How Was I Suppose to Know ~~~ A Poem

 

How Was I Suppose to Know

 

How was I suppose to know that time was not unlimited?

That the sands in my hourglass sifted through my fingers,

As I played with life, never living it as I should have.

 

How was I suppose to know that love was fleeting?

When that love was given time and again to the wrong people,

And never to be received back.

 

How was I suppose to know that looking back was a danger?

As it made me sad, depressed and ashamed in myself,

For not giving all I had to my life to save my soul.

 

How was I suppose to know that regrets are like knives in the heart?

It’s too late to make those moments count,

Not only to yourself but to others.

 

How was I suppose to know that dreams are made to happen?

Only if you keep them in sight as you walk toward them,

Not when you forget them as you drift through life.

 

How was I suppose to know that all these things would make me ponder?

So I will work towards those dreams and forget about regrets.

As I have some time left and I’m not dead yet.

 

 

 

Posted in Mi Vida Loca, My Incomplete List of Small Pleasures, nonfiction

My Incomplete List of Small Pleasures

Today I thought I would combine two things, My Incomplete List of Small Pleasures and Nerd in the Brains, Three Things Thursday. Nerdy does a post every Thursday about three things she is grateful for that week. It can be big or small things so I decided I was in a joining mood this morning and will join her on her journey into gratefulness and smiles. Because smiles are always fun to share.

Why not join us? And it doesn’t even have to be on a Thursday! It can be any day.

The Incomplete

 

Changing weather…..

I don’t know where you’re at but here you can feel the weather changing to Spring. I am so looking forward to Spring! We still have snow on the ground and it’s still cold but when the sun comes out it warms up pretty fast. There is a different feel to the air. It’s hard to explain but you just know Spring is coming. The sky looks different, the trees start to get a green glow and the earth (when you can see it beneath the snow) is beginning to look renewed. Plus, my body seems to know as it has a little more energy, a little more spring (hehe)  in the step. Ahhhh, Spring……hurry up!!!

Himalayan Salt Rock Lamps…..

What the hell is that you ask? Well, let me give you the description right off the website that I ordered it from…

lamp

. It is made of salt crystal that is ethically harvested from the geological range of the Himalayan Mountains, where salt deposits were formed millions of years ago. Due to its natural formation, each lamp is a uniquely beautiful combination of pink, orange, and white – no two are the same!

This lamp naturally produces negative ions, which help clean and purify the air. Ions are small electrically charged particles contained in the air we breathe. Other natural ion producers are trees and waterfalls. These lamps are helpful for people suffering from asthma and/or upper respiratory problems by reducing the amount of airborne bacteria and dust.

There you are. I bought it because I thought it was pretty and I figured anything that might help the husband and I breathe better can’t be bad. I’ve had it about two months now and I have to admit, my breathing (asthma) has been better. Whether it’s due to the lamp, I don’t know, but I’ll keep using it.

Online recipes……

Yes, I know. A strange thing to be grateful for but I am. I do all the cooking in the house. Every. Single. Day.

I tell you, I get so tired of trying to think of something different to make that the husband will eat. So when I want something just a little different, or I want something with the same old ingredients I have on hand but maybe add something to it to make it different, I go online. I love Google. I love online recipes. Like today….I am making chicken. Now, the husband is not too fond of chicken but we can’t have steak and potatoes every night. As much as he wishes we could.

So, I went online and found a great sounding recipe that I think even he will like since we both love mushrooms.

I had chicken, fresh mushrooms in the fridge so I Googled those ingredients and came away with a slow cooker recipe I’m doing for tonight.

Chicken breasts….fresh sliced mushrooms and cream of chicken soup.

That’s it! You put it all in the slow cooker, turn it on low and let it cook for 6 hours and you should have a delicious chicken in mushroom gravy. I plan on putting it over noodles. Or maybe potatoes….we’ll see. Yum!

Sometimes I need all the help I can get. 😉

 

So what are YOU grateful for today?

three-things-thursday-badge

 

 

Posted in nonfiction, postaday, Word Fun

Word Fun ~~~ Phobia Words

Today I thought I’d have some word fun. I love words, as most of you know, and I wondered where do we get those strange words for phobias? Yeah, my mind is a strange place….

Anyway, phobias, which are just basically fears, seemed like an interesting topic of conversation. We all have them. If someone says they aren’t afraid of something…they lie.

Now me, I have arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and claustrophobia (fear of closed in spaces), I also have achluophobia (fear of darkness).

What about you? What are you terrified of?

Here’s a list I came up with for words that mean some strange fears. Ok, maybe to those that have these fears they aren’t strange. So I should say, strange to ME fears.

What do you think?

evil-clowns-1759563_640

 

For all you Vampires out there…. alliumphobia (fear of garlic)

Here’s one of Trump’s fears….allodoxaphobia (fear of other people’s opinions)

Now this one is not one I understand at all…. bibliophobia (fear of books)

My cats have this one…..brontophobia (fear of thunderstorms)

Now, I wouldn’t say I have this fear, I just like to avoid them…..  catoptrophobia (fear of mirrors)

mirror-575522_640

I wonder how people with this fear go the bathroom?….. coprophobia (fear of excrement)

Another one of Trump’s………criticophobia (fear of critics or criticism)

I know someone who has this….ergasiophobia (fear of work)

I’m not sure what to say for this one….. eosophobia (fear of dawn)

I only have this when I gain too much weight….. geniophobia (fear of chins)

And I know I don’t have this one! ……graphophobia (fear of writing)

I swear there are some people who have this that I know…..hedonophobia (fear of pleasure)

I don’t think anyone who is in the world’s oldest profession has problems with this one…… ithyphallophobia (fear of erect penises)

Ok, I have to admit, I have a bit of this one…… koinoniphobia (fear of rooms full of people)

Know anyone with this one?……  linonophobia (fear of string)

My ex-mother-in-law had this one to the point she would faint if she saw one…..musophobia (fear of mice)

Wonder what someone does if they have to go out in a storm if they have this one?…… nephophobia (fear of clouds)

sky-1054733_640

Hearing about some….I have no doubt a few people have this one…… novercaphobia (fear of mother-in-laws)

Lot’s of people have this one!……ophidiophobia (fear of snakes)

Do you have this one?……phasmophobia (fear of ghosts)

I know too many people who seem to have this one!……phronemophobia (fear of thinking)

This is one for all those old men in politics who seem to have this one about women! …… prosophobia (fear of progress)

 

 

Hope you enjoyed my little list of fears.