How Was I Suppose to Know ~~~ A Poem

 

How Was I Suppose to Know

 

How was I suppose to know that time was not unlimited?

That the sands in my hourglass sifted through my fingers,

As I played with life, never living it as I should have.

 

How was I suppose to know that love was fleeting?

When that love was given time and again to the wrong people,

And never to be received back.

 

How was I suppose to know that looking back was a danger?

As it made me sad, depressed and ashamed in myself,

For not giving all I had to my life to save my soul.

 

How was I suppose to know that regrets are like knives in the heart?

It’s too late to make those moments count,

Not only to yourself but to others.

 

How was I suppose to know that dreams are made to happen?

Only if you keep them in sight as you walk toward them,

Not when you forget them as you drift through life.

 

How was I suppose to know that all these things would make me ponder?

So I will work towards those dreams and forget about regrets.

As I have some time left and I’m not dead yet.

 

 

 

Word Fun ~~~ Phobia Words

Today I thought I’d have some word fun. I love words, as most of you know, and I wondered where do we get those strange words for phobias? Yeah, my mind is a strange place….

Anyway, phobias, which are just basically fears, seemed like an interesting topic of conversation. We all have them. If someone says they aren’t afraid of something…they lie.

Now me, I have arachnophobia (fear of spiders) and claustrophobia (fear of closed in spaces), I also have achluophobia (fear of darkness).

What about you? What are you terrified of?

Here’s a list I came up with for words that mean some strange fears. Ok, maybe to those that have these fears they aren’t strange. So I should say, strange to ME fears.

What do you think?

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For all you Vampires out there…. alliumphobia (fear of garlic)

Here’s one of Trump’s fears….allodoxaphobia (fear of other people’s opinions)

Now this one is not one I understand at all…. bibliophobia (fear of books)

My cats have this one…..brontophobia (fear of thunderstorms)

Now, I wouldn’t say I have this fear, I just like to avoid them…..  catoptrophobia (fear of mirrors)

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I wonder how people with this fear go the bathroom?….. coprophobia (fear of excrement)

Another one of Trump’s………criticophobia (fear of critics or criticism)

I know someone who has this….ergasiophobia (fear of work)

I’m not sure what to say for this one….. eosophobia (fear of dawn)

I only have this when I gain too much weight….. geniophobia (fear of chins)

And I know I don’t have this one! ……graphophobia (fear of writing)

I swear there are some people who have this that I know…..hedonophobia (fear of pleasure)

I don’t think anyone who is in the world’s oldest profession has problems with this one…… ithyphallophobia (fear of erect penises)

Ok, I have to admit, I have a bit of this one…… koinoniphobia (fear of rooms full of people)

Know anyone with this one?……  linonophobia (fear of string)

My ex-mother-in-law had this one to the point she would faint if she saw one…..musophobia (fear of mice)

Wonder what someone does if they have to go out in a storm if they have this one?…… nephophobia (fear of clouds)

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Hearing about some….I have no doubt a few people have this one…… novercaphobia (fear of mother-in-laws)

Lot’s of people have this one!……ophidiophobia (fear of snakes)

Do you have this one?……phasmophobia (fear of ghosts)

I know too many people who seem to have this one!……phronemophobia (fear of thinking)

This is one for all those old men in politics who seem to have this one about women! …… prosophobia (fear of progress)

 

 

Hope you enjoyed my little list of fears.

 

 

 

Some Questions for You

Hello, folks.

On Tuesdays, I’ve been doing some tongue twisters. It’s fun, for a little while anyway. I was wondering if you guys have any preference in what I do on here. I know I have a couple of loyal readers who seem to read anything I post. Thank you!

But….I was wondering what readers want to see on here. More stories? More flash fiction? More personal stuff? More fun with words kind of stuff. What?

I’m more than open to ideas and suggestions. So I made a poll. I think it’s like only my second or third poll I’ve done on here and I’ve been here for almost five years now. WOW…..god that seems like a long time.

Anyway, I would appreciate it if all my readers take a second and fill out my poll. Come on….I’m not asking much….really.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for helping me out!

Love you guys!

 

 

I’m Sore and Tired of Shoveling!!

Good day, People!

As you could probably tell by my title, I’ve been shoveling snow all weekend. Southern Alberta was hit with a snow storm this weekend. It snowed damn near for all of the last two days.

So yes, I’m sore and tired of shoveling this crap! So, I thought it would be a good day to re-post one of my funnier posts. It’s all about snow and shoveling and stuff……

 

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8 – 6:00 PM

It started to snow.  The first snow of the season and  I took my cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic.  I love snow!

December 9

I woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.  What a fantastic sight!  Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world?  Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had!  Shoveled for the first time in years and felt young again.  I did both the driveway and the sidewalks.  This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.  What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow.  Such a disappointment!  My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas.  No snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter that I’ll never want to see snow again.  I don’t think that’s possible.  Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s my neighbor.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow!  8 inches last night.  The temperature dropped to  -20 F.  The cold makes everything sparkle so.  The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.  This is the life!  The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.  I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way.  I wish l wouldn’t huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer and 2 extra shovels.  Stocked the freezer.  I thought about a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.  Then thought that’s silly.  We aren’t in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning.  Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell.  The neighbor laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go anywhere.

Electricity was off for 5 hours.  I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wall.  Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove.   I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity’s back on but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.  More shoveling!  Took all day.  The damn snowplow came by twice.  Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey.  I think they’re lying.  Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out.  Might have another shipment in March.  I think they’re lying.  Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.  I think he’s lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh*t fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August.  Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss.  By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again.  I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy.  I think the  *sshole is lying.

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December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today.  And it warmed up to 0. Thought about decorating the front of the house today.  Am I nuts?!!  Why didn’t I do it a month ago??!  

December 24

6 inches – Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.

Thought I was having a heart attack.  If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.  I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been!  Tonight the family wanted me to sing Christmas carols with them and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25

Merry Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight –

Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate

the snow!  Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.  The neighbor says I have a bad attitude. I think he’s a fricking idiot.  If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to scream.

December 26

Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here?  

December 27

Temperature dropped to – 30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20.   Still snowed in.  The neighbor is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.  That’s the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he think I am?

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December 30

Roof caved in.  I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass.    Nine more inches predicted.

 

December 31

I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.

 

January 8

Feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.  

Why am I tied to the bed?

Questions and Answers

Good Thursday, Folks! (Unless you are ahead or behind, then good Friday, Wednesday!) I like covering my bases…..

Today I thought we would have a bit of fun. Goodness knows with all the doom and gloom we need some. The world has gone crazy, folks. Just crazy. I’m gettin’ off the crazy train for a day. Want to join me?

Almost buried under all the political stuff on Facebook, there was a question and answer thing going around. I always like them things. So, I thought I would do that today.

You can do a post yourself, or just answer them in the comments. I love getting to know you better.

Ok, here we go…..

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1. Who are you named after?

No one that I know of. My mom was into French names at the time. My sister is Nadine and my mom wanted to name me Jacqueline. She shortened it to Jackie because she thought Jacqueline would be too hard for a little kid.
2. Last time you cried?

Probably yesterday. I cry all the time. I’m a crying machine. Actually, I’m just stressed and emotional lately so everything makes me cry. I can cry at a sad picture, a commercial, just about anything.
3. Do you like your handwriting?

Most of the time. My mother had really fancy handwriting and I used to copy hers when I was young. So now my handwriting can get fancy most times. When I’m tired or my arthritis is acting up it gets a bit messy.
4. What is your favorite lunch meat?

I don’t eat a lot of processed food. When I do eat lunch meat it’s usually bologna. Or salami.


6. Longest Relationship? 

The one I’m in now. Will be 16 years in September. 


7. Do you still have your tonsils?

Sure do. The only thing I don’t have is a gallbladder. And some people say a heart…but don’t believe everything you hear about me. 


8. Would you bungee jump? 

No. That’s the short answer. I have weak ankles. With my luck, I’d break both ankles from the bungee cord. 


9. What is your favorite kind of cereal? 

Cheerios or Shredded Wheat


10. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? 

No. But then they don’t have shoelaces. They are the velcro kind. 


11. Do you think you’re strong? 

Physically…no…not anymore as I’m an old woman. Mentally, yes.


12. Favorite ice cream? 

I don’t really eat ice cream anymore. Diabetic. I like the frozen yogurt they have out now. 


13. What is the first thing you notice about someone? 

The eyes. They really do say a lot. 


14. Football or baseball?

Neither. I’m not a sports fan. 


15. What color pants are you wearing? 

Blue jeans


16. Last thing you ate? 

Chicken strips. Baked, better for me. 


17. What are you listening to? 

The husband is watching TV and the furnace is running.


18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? 

This one is harder than you would think. I love purple but I’m not really in a purple mood. Hm, I will say……beige…just eh.


19. What is your favorite smell? 

I have several. Lemon, green apple or lilac. 


20. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? 

I don’t talk on the phone often. Last live person, I talked to was a nurse at the doctor’s office for the husband. 


21. Married? 

Oh god am I……..


22. Hair color? 

Reddish light brown with a whole lot of silver. My bangs are silver and I have a wide streak of silver on the left side. Hm, hell, maybe I should have just answered silver and let it go at that. 


23. Eye Color? 

Well, according to most people my eyes are blue. I don’t see it myself. My driver’s license says gray. They change. I’m weird. 


24. Favorite food? 

Mexican food. The good stuff. The main reason  I miss Texas is their TexMex food. 


25. Scary movies or happy endings? 

I don’t watch movies. Especially scary ones, so I guess it will have to be happy endings.


26. Last movie you watched? 

See the above answer. The last movie I watched in a theater was Saving Private Ryan. Now you know how old that one is. 


27. What color shirt are you wearing? 

Blue. It’s a blue kind of day.


28. Favorite holiday? 

Halloween. I love it. Christmas is a close second. 


29. Beer or Wine? 

Neither. I don’t drink alcohol.


30. Night owl or morning person? 

When I was younger, I was a morning person. I loved early mornings when the sun was rising. Now, I’m a night owl. Only until about 10 pm though. Then I’m a bed person…….I did mention I was old.


31. Favorite day of the week?

Any day I’m still breathing.

 

 

 

Tuesday’s Tongue Twisters

I’m running behind my schedule, so for today’s post, I made an executive decision to steal some tongue twisters off the internet……as usual some of you might say. ha!

Enjoy!

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Wednesday Whatever!

I almost did a post about the nightmares I’ve been having. Really. They involve Trump and my ex. Now isn’t that the definition of nightmares? Then I decided most of us are probably Trumped out, so I decided to keep my nightmares to myself. I just hope they stop soon because I’m beginning to really dislike the color orange.

Instead, I decided we all needed a little break from the bleak world of Trumpiness. (Yes, that’s a made-up word. Go with it.)

Today I’m going to discuss Spoonerisms. (Yes, this is a REAL word.) What’s a spoonerism you ask? Great question! Spoonerisms are words or phrases in which letters or syllables get swapped. This often happens accidentally in slips of the tongue.

For example…

  • A lack of pies (A pack of lies) (ok, my mind is still on Trump, sorry!)

We’ve all had slips of the tongue. I know I do it. Especially, when I’m excited or angry. Then I want to say something profound (or profane) and it comes out all wrong. Which is funny and it breaks the mood.

Here are some others I’ve found in my research on Spoonerisms (or my procrastination on writing something more profound.)

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Tease my ears (Ease my tears)

My zips are lipped (My lips are zipped)

Cop porn (Popcorn)

Ready as a stock (Steady as a rock)

I hit my bunny bone (I hit my funny bone)

Know your blows (Blow your nose)

And this little story I found….full of spoonerisms. Have a laugh on me!

Goldybear and the Three Locks

Once a time upon, long before there were beddy tares, there lived in a far wood away, the bear threes. There was the boppa pear, the bomma mare, and the little bearby babe.

Now, this gramily of fizzlies hived lappily for a tong, tong, lime, weep in the doods, in a little louse made out of hogs. Things were fine until one morning when they sat down to pour their eatage. You see, the bother mare said, “My porridge is hoo tot!”

And the bother mare pasted her torrage and said, “This is har foo tot!” And the bittle laby bear said, “My porrige is head rot, fike a lurnace!” So the bear threes decided to go for a long woods in the walk, to let their corridge pool.

Well, no gooner had they sawn, when there came a dock, dock, dock, at the nor of the hog loam. And you know who that was? Right! Loldygocks. And she was looking for a plesting race. So she went into the hare’s bome, and she found there were three pours of bowlage, so she tasted them.

Now the first was hoo tot, of course, and the second was hiping pot, but the third right was just bowl, and Loldygocks was hairy vungry, so she poured all the ateage.

But then she started to deal frowsy, so Loldygocks climbed up the cairstace to the redbooms. When she got there, she saw there were bee little threads.

Now, the birst fed was hoo tard. And the becond sed was soo toft. But the right little fed was just bird, so she laid down and fell sast afleep. In fact, she snarted to store. (Snort!)

Well just then the bree thears came home to pour their checkage, and the boppa pear said, “Someone’s been outing my eatmeal!”, and the bother mare said, ” Someone’s been pouring my eatage!”, and the bearby babe said, “Hey, someone’s been grampling my sanola!”

Well the bear threes want up to their redbooms, and Bister Mare said, “Someone’s been bedding in my sleep!”, and the bother mare said, “Someone’s been beeping in my sled!”, and the little bearby babe said, “Someone’s been cruising in my snib, and there she is!”

Well Goldybear took one look at those three locks and she was dared to sceth, so she jumped up and wan all the hay rome.

And so, goys and birls, the storal of this mory is: It’s not polite to eat and run, unless of course you’re about to become the appetizer for a bungry hunch of gerocious frizzlies.

 

 

My grammar checker had heart palpitations on that one! Have you got any spoonerisms that have come out of your mouth? Let us know!