Fiction · Flash Back Friday · postaday · writing

Flash Back Friday

Hello people! Hope everyone is having a great start on the weekend.

I thought it would be fun to go back to when I first started this blog and take a second look at some of my posts. I started in August of 2012. I wanted to write, I needed to write, so I thought a blog would be the perfect and most logical thing to do. The first week of blogging, I got my courage up and posted a few short stories. Boy, was I ever a newbie! I didn’t know a thing about ‘tags’ or ‘categories‘.  Having hardly any followers and getting my bravery up to post something I wrote was nerve-wracking. I read them now and the first thing that comes to mind? Wow, do they need editing! LOL

So I thought, what the hell, I’ll do a bit of editing, republish them and see what you think. Be gentle. They were my first born.

The first one up is called “Whispers”. You can see the original post here. After some much-needed editing, below is what I have now. Hope you enjoy!

 

Whispers

Jogging through her favorite park, Helen’s anger simmered. Long legs pumped, feet pounding the tarred lane. Her mind went back over the argument with her husband this morning. She was still so  angry and confused. The two of them seemed to be arguing over everything lately! Everything and nothing.

She was hoping a good run with nature would calm her down. It wasn’t working. Helen slowed, her mind going over all of the petty little disagreements her husband Kevin and her were having lately. The sharp words to each other, hurtful words that couldn’t be taken back once said. She wondered when it all started? When had things changed so much that they couldn’t even talk to each other anymore!

Walking slowly, her mind mucked through each and every argument. The hurt and confusion snuffing out her anger.  Tears shimmered in her hazel eyes as she thought of all the terrible things said.  She loved the man, loved him since the first day they met. He was funny, smart, and had a smile that she loved to see whenever she looked at him. She realized that smile she loved so dearly has been missing lately.  She knew he was just as confused about things between them as she was. Didn’t he just say that this morning? Before she stormed out of the house? She remembered now. As she was opening the front door, she heard him whisper, “What is happening to us?”.

Through her veil of tears she spotted an empty park bench. Walking over to it, Helen sat, suddenly feeling so tired, so defeated. So terribly, heart hurting, sad. She bit back a sob, as she spotted an elderly couple approach the bench. They sat on the other end, close together, hands clasped. They were oblivious to her, to her pain and tears.  They only had eyes for each other, heads bent close together. One with a jaunty little cap, the other with her white hair done up in a bun behind her head. Helen couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other as they were whispering.

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Heads bent forward, touching, hands clasped, loving, soft smiles on their lips. To Helen, they looked so young despite the lines of time upon their faces, white hair, age spots on their hands. They looked young and happy, so much in love. Helen could almost hear the loving words whispered between them.

A soft laugh pierced Helen’s cloud of despair. The old couple stood up, still with clasped hands and heads together, still whispering their words, they moved down the path past Helen.  Her tears dry upon her cheeks, Helen watched them pass.

She watched them for a few moments longer, then her eyes widened and she knew what she wanted to do! Determined, she ran back home, hoping against hope he was still there. That Kevin hadn’t left yet.

As Helen entered the house, her eyes found him almost exactly where she had left him. She thought he looked as lost as she felt, he looked so alone. Kevin stood facing her, with that wounded look in his eyes that mirrored Helen’s own. Taking a slow, deep breath, she walked to him, put her arms around him, leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered.

Kevin’s arms circled the woman he loved more than life and held her tightly. Heads bent together, eyes closed, they held each other in hope, in love. They whispered words of healing and forgiveness to each other.

Whispers, soft words of love, they are so much stronger than anger.

11 thoughts on “Flash Back Friday

  1. One day I am going to go back through the blogs of some of y’all who I have “known” a while. Your stats will go weird for a day, but I am interested to see what, if anything, I may have missed about y’all 🙂

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  2. I think everything we write over time is in need of a good edit. I think the more we write the better we get and the more confident our writing becomes. For a first effect at blogging its pretty good, all the better now for the edit. I think we also become very self critical the more we write and the more we learn. Great idea to go back and look at old posts Jackie.

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  3. This is a lovely, heart warming story! I think it’s a great idea to go back and look at what you’ve written. I’ve redone a few stories, edited all of them heavily. But that only means that we’ve learned something in our 2+ years of blogging 🙂 Yes we have!

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  4. Lovely, it reminded me of this one elderly couple that lived in my hometown. They took a walk every day always holding hands. They walked slowly, he was bent over and she walked with a fragility you would of thought would keep her indoors. They stopped frequently to rest or look at a sight for a bit but never stopped holding hands. When they looked at each other you could see a love so deep, something I didn’t think existed. Every time I saw them I would think, if I found this kind of love I’d actually get married.

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    1. My mom and dad were like that. They never walked anywhere that they weren’t holding hands. I think I channelled that into my story. My dad was big on holding hands. Even when I became an adult if he and I were walking somewhere, he would hold my hand and my mom’s hand. I always thought I want to find a man like that, so far, no dice. My mom I think was one lucky woman.

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