This is just going to be short and quick. I’m not exactly sure I even want to share with you my world lately as it’s been a bit of my own piece of hell. Short story, knee is still giving me hell, now I have complications from it. Going back to dr this week, if possible.
Thanks Cee for more great questions this week. If anyone wants to join in just go to Cee’s Photography blog and join us. Thanks
Depends on what I’m putting it on. French fries gets ketchup on the side. Hamburgers, hotdogs and such get mustard. I’m easy.
If someone made a movie of your life would it be a drama, a comedy, a romantic-comedy, action film, or science fiction?
Hell, that’s easy. Science fiction. If I told most of what my life has consisted of, most would not believe it.
If you could be given any gift what would it be?
Good health. Believe me, once you lose your good health, you want it back, because everything is 100% more difficult without it. You get boring to other people, even if they love you, because you are no longer ‘fun’. I can handle a lot of things. Being broke, being somewhere I don’t want to be, being the black sheep of my family, but now that my health is not good, it’s worse. At least when I was healthy I could find a job, move somewhere else, do something about the things that sadden me. Never take good health for granted. Ever!
For potlucks or parties do you cook it yourself, buy from a grocery store, or pay for catering?
I don’t do parties, potlucks or otherwise. The few times I did, for like family gatherings, I cooked my own. I like to cook so that was the easiest.
There you have it folks. I’m hoping to be around more, but right now, I just don’t have the energy. See you folks around!
I am here to tell you about the amazing breakthrough new diet! It’s called the Pain Diet!
No pills! No exercise! No eating! No fun!
If you are looking for a new and amazing way to lose weight, well look no further! This new diet will have you shedding that unwanted weight in no time!
Sure you might groan and spend sleepless nights awake and in pain. But isn’t it worth it?? Just think of those extra 15 – 20 pounds that you would love to lose but have been hanging around since college days! Well have no fear. This amazing diet will let you shed that weight in less than 6 weeks!
Yes, you heard correctly. All you have to do is break a bone or pull a ligament and this amazing diet is yours free! That’s right folks! NO pills to take! NO exercises to do!
Order now and if you don’t have that broken bone or pulled ligament, we will send Big Carlos over within 48 hours to break a bone for you! Free of charge! (you just pay a small delivery charge)
So overdo now in your household or garden chores and get that knee ligament pulled! Then you too will be able to say at your next high school reunion….. “I shed my extra weight with the amazing Pain Diet!”
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(This is part of an email I sent a really great friend this morning, who asked how I was doing. This friend has been with me since the beginning of when I pulled the ligament in my knee almost six weeks ago. They suggested that it would make a funny post and I agreed. So here it is. Hope you enjoyed my tongue in cheek humor today. But, really I wouldn’t recommend this diet, it sucks. And yes I did lose almost 15 lbs in 6 weeks because of the pain. Some good came out of it all I guess. LOL)
Hello people! I haven’t been around much lately I know. Did anyone miss me? No? Eh, well.
Let me tell you a bit about what’s been going on with me and why I haven’t been around or writing much this month. First, I hurt my right knee earlier this month. How I did it, I have no idea, but hurt it, I did and it swells up by the end of the day. I get shooting pains in it when it’s not throbbing like a bad toothache. Yeah, fun times. So when I walk too much, my ankles swell up and it just makes for a shitty time.
Then my muse, the fickle witch, left me and went on holidays and I don’t even get a postcard.
Yesterday, I was trying to take something off a shelf and accidentally knocked a can of tomatoes off the shelf and it landed on my forehead. So I ended up with a bruise and a headache to match the knee. Fun times here folks. But, the fun keeps coming!
At 2:30 am, I woke myself up because I was in a cold sweat, shaking like a leaf and couldn’t catch my breath. Well, I know that feeling! It doesn’t happen too often, but my blood sugars dropped too much. Went down to 2, which is dangerously low. I managed to take my glucose test and yeah, it was that low. So I managed to make it to the kitchen for juice and peanut butter. An hour later, I’m back to normal and go back to bed. I just feel tired, drained and cranky. Yes, I said cranky! Like an old lady!
Anyway, that’s why I haven’t been around much. After I finish this, I will disappear once again, maybe go take a nap. I sure need one.
Cee from Cee’s Photography has posted another Share Your World set of questions. I’ll answer them as best I can. Why not go pay her a visit and join us?
Have you ever been in a submarine? If you haven’t, would you want to?
No and no! I’m a bit claustrophobic. So I wouldn’t go in a submarine if I didn’t have to. It gives me the creeps to think I’m in an enclosed space under the water. No thanks.
Are you a listener or talker?
I’ve always been a listener. Sometimes I think truly listening to someone is becoming a lost art. It seems people listen with half an ear, just waiting for an opening to top the story of the other person, or talk about themselves. No one seems to listen! They are too interested in only themselves. Which is a shame. There are a lot of people out there that would feel better if someone just listened to them. I like to listen to people, well people with something to say anyway. Everyone has a story. I’ve never been much of a talker, too shy for that. Unless I know you well. Then I could probably talk you to death LOL.
Do you prefer crunchy peanut butter or smooth peanut butter? Anything with your peanut butter?
Smooth peanut butter. For me it tastes better. Sometimes if I eat peanut butter I will put a little strawberry jam with it, or honey. Yummy. I don’t eat it too often because it raises my blood sugars too much, but as a special treat, it’s the best!
Have you ever been drunk?
Oh yes. But not for years now. I remember the very first time I got drunk. I was 16, but it was a safe environment as my Dad got me drunk! We used to go to a bar that was being run by a cousin. I think it’s still standing too! Oh wow, that was a lot of years ago. It was in Carter, Wisconsin. My mom grew up there and my grandmother used to work as the cook there when I was really young. It’s been around for as long as I remember. I had just turned 16 and my parents, sister and I were up there for the weekend or something. It was about 4 hours north from home. The guy behind the bar asked my dad if I could have a drink. My dad said it was ok, I think it was a rum and coke or something like that. Then it got to be 2 drinks, then 3 drinks and so on. My dad thought it was funny. I remember after about the 6th drink, I had to go to the bathroom and to get there I had to walk around the pool table. I barely made it! My dad thought it was the funniest thing he ever saw! I also remember we went to the summer home afterwards and my dad helped me walk and then kind of poured me in bed, clothes and all! LOL
The next morning he asked me how I felt. He thought I would have one hell of a hangover, but I felt fine. I never got hangovers. I think he was a bit disappointed. Haha! Of course, there were a few more times in my life I got drunk. But I stopped drinking all together years ago, even before a became diabetic. It just wasn’t my thing. I also never got drunk enough that I lost control of what I was doing or blacked out. I hated losing control. Still do.
Small moments of kindness peek through our everyday lives, from your neighbors’ “Good morning!” to a surprise “I’ll take care of that for you” at the office. This week, we want you to explore what that kindness means to you, and share it with others.
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She had white hair, a round wrinkled face, kind blue eyes and a big toothless grin. I was a skinny, shy kid with white hair, an angled face and inquisitive gray eyes and a big gap toothed smile.
We were best friends.
Her name was Minnie, I was told to call her Aunt Minnie. She lived two doors down from where my family lived. We had just moved into the house that week when I met her for the first time. I was about 6 or seven, she could have been anywhere from 60 to 90. I know she was old when I first met her. She always wore dresses, silk stockings that she would sometimes roll down to her calves. Clunky, serviceable black shoes with think rubber soles. She wore glasses to read, otherwise they lay against a sagging bosom from a silver chain around her neck.
When she hugged me tight she smelled of dusty lavender, face powder and that morning’s breakfast.
She was married to a man who was a quiet soul. He would sit in the living room and read the newspaper as Aunt Minnie taught me the ‘proper’ way to take care of the house. She was the one who taught a shy little girl how to sweep floors, dust, and iron clothes. As we worked side by side, she would tell me about her only child. A daughter she would tell me, just like me. A cherished child that drowned when she was 12, many years ago. Aunt Minnie never got over the death. She never had any more children.
Aunt Minnie said she had me now, that’s all she needed.
This kindly old lady befriended a small skinny child who needed a friend so much. She must have seen something in me one day that I didn’t know about. I was living a nightmare I couldn’t tell anyone about. I was living a hell of sexual abuse, also my mother and I didn’t get along. So I clung to kind Aunt Minnie as much as she clung to me.
I would help her with her chores, while she taught me so much. She taught me more than she ever knew. She taught me to have pride in what work I did. To have pride in myself. She taught a quiet, introverted book nerd that it was all right to make mistakes. She was patient, kind and never scolded if I did something wrong. She taught me that even if there was many years difference in our ages, two lonely people could be best friends. She taught me to trust again. Hesitantly, but trust her I did.
Aunt Minnie also taught me that it’s the kindness in yourself towards others that will fill a void, a need. Not nastiness, not jealousy, not hatred. Kindness was something that brought us together, a young child and an older, wiser woman who had so much love in her to share. A child who soaked that kindness up so many, many years ago and now that I am older, is trying to give some of that kindness to others that might need it now.
Thank you Aunt Minnie for being kindness personified.
I’m a bit late in posting for Cee’s Share your world this week. In fact, I haven’t posted much lately. But, I have an excuse, not that I need one. I have hurt my right knee and it is very painful so I have not had much concentration lately. Also, I think my muse went on holiday. Yeah, poor, poor pitiful me. Enough whining though!
Here is Cee’s four questions and my answers for this week. If you would like to join us, to get to know your fellow bloggers better, go on over to Cee’s photography blog and join on in! Thanks!
If you were the architect of one existing building, which building would you select?
The very impressive Regatta Hotel Jakarta.
Regatta Hotel
The Regatta Hotel Jakarta was designed by Atelier Enam, based on the nautical theme, where the centerpiece is an aerodynamically shaped hotel bound to be one of the most striking landscape features overlooking the Java Sea. The ‘Regatta’ name comes from the symbols of tall ships, which are the 10 apartment towers sailing around the ‘lighthouse’ which is represented by the hotel. All these 10 apartment towers are named after some important port cities of the world, and each of them, are orientated towards the cardinal direction of their corresponding city.
Isn’t it fabulous? I would love to see inside!
What is one of your favorite quotes?
My favorite quote is one I made myself many years ago when I was living in an impossible relationship. It’s helped me many times stay strong and focused.
“Don’t Let the Situation Control You. YOU Control the Situation.”
What color do you feel most comfortable wearing?
When I was younger all I wore was dark colors. Blacks, browns, grays, dark greens. Pretty much matched what I felt. Now that I’m older. I wear bright colors. Reds, oranges, purples, bright blues, bright greens. About the only colors I don’t wear are pink and yellow. Pink because, well, I’m just not much of a pink girl. Yellows because they make me look like death warmed over. Not a good look on anyone, unless you’re a zombie. BRAINSSssssssSSSS!
What is something you learned in the last week?
I learned a new word this week. One I had never heard before. I was reading a friends blog and he had this word for a writing prompt. The word was Mamihlapinatapei. Have you ever heard of it? Not many have I think. The definition given was this; “The wordless, yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start.”
I thought it was a pretty cool word. Don’t ask me to pronounce it though.
Today is my older sister’s birthday. She is 2 years older than I am. Her and I used to be really close, but we have drifted apart through the years. Since my dad died years ago things have not been the same between us.
Family dynamics sometimes can be strange. They ebb and flow like the ocean waves. At least in my family they do. I know that part of the problem is that I’ve lived so far away most of my adult life. I”m the only sibling out of four to do so. My younger brother did for a while, but even he eventually went home. My problem I think is that ‘home’ has never really been home to me. Sometimes I get the urge to go back, but it passes. It usually only comes around the holidays anyway, which happens to many. I also know it would be a bad idea.
My sister is a wonderful person, she really is. She’s very caring and nurturing. She loves kids and she’s very patient. Her name is Jill, well, that’s what everyone calls her. It’s her middle name. She wasn’t able to get pregnant, which she always wanted to do once she got married. But she did the next best thing. First she was a foster parent, with my brother-in-law. They made great foster parents and I lost count on how many children she took in. She specialized in children that were at risk at home from parents that couldn’t handle the kids for whatever reason, be it drugs or mental or emotional problems. Most were babies when she received them. Some had special needs themselves.
I lost track on how many kids she fostered through the years. I do know she is still in touch with a few of them. Three of the children she fostered her and my BIL ended up adopting. Three boys from different backgrounds, but all needing a good set of parents. Which they got from my sister and her husband.
Now when she should be enjoying peace and quiet she is taking care of my younger brothers twin girls. He and his then wife weren’t in any position to care for them, so my sister with my mom’s help took them in and raised them. Now they do have a relationship with my brother, but they still live with my sister and consider her ‘mom’.
I don’t even have a picture of my sister. Another long story there for another time. She’s a wonderful friend to her friends, a great mother to her kids, an amazing wife to her husband. She’s my sister and I’m proud of her.
So Happy Birthday Jill! Hope it’s a great one for you and I hope that husband of yours treats you well on this special day.
My dog Sam and my cat Pouncer sharing the same sunbeam. Now they are a contrast as their personalities are such that this sharing is a very rare occurrence.
Mother Natures Art (c) JLPhillips 2013 A Canadian sunset
I love this picture I took last year of a sunset off my patio. The bare trees are a sharp contrast against the beautiful fiery sunset.
JLPhillips 2013 (c)
My mother, who will be 85 this year. A woman of many contrasts. She can be the nicest person in the world. Just don’t dare cross her! My mother and I have had our difficulties in the past, but she is the strongest woman I know as she has overcome so many things in her life. She is only 4’11, but she is a giant in personality.
I just wanted to let you know, today I am guest posting over at Stories That Must Not Die. It’s not a pleasant subject that I wrote about. Childhood sexual abuse. It’s also one that I don’t talk about much on my own blog. It’s a true story. It’s my story.
It’s raw, it’s brutal and it was a part of my childhood. I would really appreciate it if you would go over there and give it a read. Or not, because I would certainly understand if you don’t want to read something so unpleasant. But the only way we can stop child sexual abuse is to talk about it, make it so it’s not taboo anymore.
I’m not ashamed of what happened. It was NOT my fault. But too many stay quiet and continue to hurt. It’s not right. I wanted to show those others that went through what I did that they don’t have to feel ashamed, or scared, or hurt anymore. There are people that understand. There is help.
So let’s make this an open discussion, let’s not hide anymore.
Cee from Cee’s Photography has this really nice thing she does every Monday. She posts 4 questions and asks us to answer them in a post. This way we get to know each other a little bit better. Her questions are always interesting and make me think. So why not come join us!
Here is this week’s questions.
What makes you feel the most secure?
Interesting question there. As I have been poor most my life I think having a bit of money in a savings would make me feel secure. There are so many ways to feel secure. Financially, physically, spiritually, how do I pick? There is even emotional security. So financially, savings would be nice. Physically, I always feel secure when I have a dog with me, they alert me to things going on outside. Spiritually, I’m always secure in that I know myself and my beliefs and I feel secure with that knowledge. Emotionally, I’ve never felt secure emotionally. Until lately. People have always let me down. I have always put my love in the wrong people. I think I’ve finally got it right. Took me my whole life so far, but for the first time, I feel emotionally secure in myself and others.
If you were a shoe, what kind would you be and why?
I’m not a shoe person. So I’m not sure how to answer this one. I own one pair of sneakers and a pair of sandals. Well, I told you I wasn’t a shoe person! I guess I would be a comfortable pair of sneakers. Don’t ask me what brand, because I would just give you a blank stare. haha.
Does sarcasm count? Ok, I suppose that’s really not a language. Then I speak one, English. I understand some Spanish, French and German, but I don’t speak any of them. On and off I try to learn my Native American tribe’s language (Potawatomie) but damn that’s a hard language to learn!
What was the largest city you have been to? What is the one thing you remember most?
This answer depends, I mean it could be population size, metropolitan size, geographical size, what?? I’ve been to a few big ones, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Chicago, Dallas, Dallas/Ft. Worth, Houston, Calgary in Alberta. To tell you the truth, they all look the same to me. Full of people and cars and everyone seems to be in a hurry to get someplace. The traffic was bad. People drive crazy. People are rude. Just plain too many people!! That is what I remember about all of these places. Too many people in one place.
Calgary AB traffic
I do remember the Museum of Natural History in Chicago though. I’ve been there a couple of times, but not since I was a teenager. That place was fascinating!
I posted this story last year in honor of my Dad on Father’s Day. I liked it enough that I am posting it again this year.
Happy Father’s Day to all those who celebrate it today!
My Dad was a man of mixed impressions. He could be quick to anger and yet he loved animals of all kinds. He was soft-spoken yet when he did speak it was with authority and conviction. He was a meticulous man, very neat in his appearance and surroundings. Everything had a place and it better be in it kind of man.
He wasn’t particularly mechanical. He wasn’t the kind of man to tinker with cars. His passion was gardening. I think my dad could grow anything. I remember the time he and I had a contest with each other. Who could grow a certain kind of plant the best. We gave each other a month. I had a room upstairs and was growing plants, he had a room downstairs where he grew his. He won of course. The man just had a special touch with growing things. It was a fun contest though with lots of laughs and good times.
My Dad, Russ.
My dad died of prostate cancer years ago. He died on Father’s day weekend that year. He held on for as long as he could because he always took care of my mom. He was afraid of leaving her alone. In the three months he was in a hospice dying slowly day by day my mom never missed a day visiting him. Through all sorts of weather, my mom would be there as soon as visiting hours started till they kicked her out at night. Every day my dad would tell her things that she needed to do around the house. He would tell her what bills she needed to pay. Who to talk to about insurance when he passed. He tried to ready her for when she would be on her own.
That’s the kind of man he was. When he died, I was 1500 miles away and not on speaking terms with my mother. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out my father had passed till sometime in September of that year. It broke my heart in more ways than one.
My dad was the kind of man you could count on. He was reliable, thrifty, and smart. I don’t think he ever saw himself as smart. But he was. He was always reading something. Granted, most of those books were westerns. His favorite author was Lois L’Amour. But he had a small library on organic gardening also. He was organic before it was ‘cool’. He was always trying new natural ways to keep pests out. He didn’t like chemicals in his garden.
My dad and I had a lot in common. Or I should say I took after my dad in many ways. I too love to read. I always feel more comfortable inside a book than socializing. That was Dad too. I’m on the quiet side, until I get to know you. My friends may be laughing about this one, but it’s true! I also unfortunately have a quick temper like my dad. I flare up, burn out and never hold grudges. Like Dad. I have my eyes and hair from my dad too. He was 100% German. I got his coloring and not my Native American mothers.
I used to love having discussions with Dad. We could talk about anything. From discussions about God or no God. Discussions on having sex before marriage (for the record, he was all for it… ha-ha). Nothing was taboo. I loved that about him. I miss that about him.
Him and I could be in the car together going someplace and not say a single word. It was okay. We didn’t have to say anything. It was a comfortable silence. Him and I communicated when we needed to and were all right with that.
I know I disappointed my Dad too many times in my life. But, I also think he knew I tried the best I could. I don’t think he was disappointed in me as a person, just some of my personal choices. Like my ex. Oh boy, my dad did NOT like my ex! He never said anything to me though. It was all in HOW the quiet in him was, his body language. It was different when he was disapproving, then when he was just his usual self. I remember when I finally decided to divorce the ex. I went home for a while with my parents. To sort my thinking out. To get away from the ex. My dad never said anything but this,
“You have to do what is right for you, even if others don’t understand.”
I never told my dad about the abuse I suffered from my ex. I never told my family much of it at all. He would have been so hurt by it and I wouldn’t do that to dad. I loved him too much. My dad was a firm believer in that a real man never hits a woman…no matter what! He lived by that rule. I remember when my sister, then I, turned 13. My dad told us that we were young ladies now and that ladies didn’t get hit. After that we never so much as got a swat on the butt if we were bad. Believe me, his disappointment was enough punishment! That and his yelling. hahaha
Today is the day for Dads. If my dad was still alive, I would have called him this morning. And if I was lucky he would have talked to me on the phone, at least long enough to tell him “Happy Father’s Day!” My dad hated talking on the phone. Today would have been a good day for both of us.
The Last Chapter 